Phoning in sick to bully manager

[atbreakingpointwork]

I can't take any more. I'll be ringing in sick on Monday but have to ring my manager. She's a bully and the reason I'm going out sick.

I am dreading it. I don't even know what to say.

I also have a bully boss so empathise. Is there anyone else you can call?

When you ring, take a deep breath and be firm. Be assertive. Practice what you will say a few times before you actiallly call. I would go with this:

Hi (manager), it's (name) here, unfortunately I won't be in work today as I'm not well enough, I'm suffering from stress and I'm going to see my GP to get signed off. I will self certify for the first week and then see how long my GP recommends. I will be in touch once I know how long I will be off for, and will forward my sick note'.

Just stick to the facts and if they start bullying you, say you have to go and end the call.

I am sorry. Keep it short “ hi, sorry I have come down with something over night and am really unwell. I won’t be in today. I will let you know if I don’t improve for tomorrow.”

If she tries to engage just say “I am sorry I have to go - I really need the bathroom/have to lie down/am going to try to get a dr appointment etc.

I actually wouldn’t say that I am off on stress leave until I have the doctor note. They will help you with the phrasing.

I had to do this. It's awful, but you can do it. Email in. Say you are off sick. You are stressed and anxious and as a result of that you can't speak on the phone as it's too much for you.
OR call HR.

Practice what you'll say.
Keep it brief so it's more difficult for her to engage.

Hi Bullyboss I'm unwell and won't be coming into work. I will be going to GP so I don't think I'll be in this week but I'll send in a sick note. Need to go now to get in the queue for GP appointments.

Then just send in sick note

Can you email instead of ringing ?

If so copy in your LMs Manager too

Whilst you’re off sick what do you plan to do? Look for another job, prepare your resignation or take a few weeks off then return to current job?

This is a good shout.

Your manager is just a person, OP - she doesn't have any power over you and she has to abide by employment law and your contract.

Just tell her the facts in a formal, straightforward way, and then end the call.

And look for a new job as well, when you are feeling better!

Hope it improves for you soon.

Facts. Always. Never get into anything that could either harm you professionally, or not be proven on a phone call.
If it has to be a call, then "I won't be in today as I'm sick, obviously if it's going to be longer than X, I'll be sending a sick note"

Thanks all.

The last time I spoke to her was on a horrible phone call on Thursday. I left the call crying and couldn't sleep on Thursday or Friday night because it just kept going through my head.

If I say I am out due to stress, she will blame her manager for this. Her manager will be off tomorrow so I can't ring him.

First, I need to get myself better. I have neglected my mental and physical health to put this job first for too long. I am looking for other jobs but also open to return because I am good at my job and have a great reputation there. Its a shame that this person has come in in the last year and ruined it all.

Move on, find another job. Having a “reputation” is not really anything to cling to. There is no monetary reward for that, it’s a comfort blanket. If the job affects your well-being fix that, find another job.

Thanks @ampletime you are right.