Text from ex-colleague after whistleblowing (by me)

[Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain]

Not going to post the scenario here as it's long and outing.

Over covid for 18 months I was working in an environment where I whistle blew and it had consequences for me but also someone appreciated me doing this and told me so, briefly, at the time.

Now, yesterday, I get a text from the person who appreciated me doing this saying "how are you? I never got a chance to properly thank you for being extremely brave and doing what was right. I responded to the Skype you sent me leaving your number but you had already left".

The thing is, earlier this year, something triggered me about what happened then (above), and I was brought back to this time and place completely unexpectedly after it. It involved me reliving me experiences with someone who listened to me, supported me and offered me future support, which I appreciated. I'd thought I'd dealt with this at the time and after it happened.

I appreciate this text from this person, albeit coming at a later stage after this happened, but feel rather than follow up by text exchange, I'd like a coffee meeting, probably as a one off, so I can tell my side of the story, but also hear hers.

Does anyone have experience of this? What would you advise?

I've never been in that situation but it seems like she's genuinely grateful for what you did so I don't see a problem with suggesting a meet-up so you can hear her perspective.

I had a similar situation and went through hell for three months, and then had a text from an ex-colleague who had been put in a similar situation to me once I had left the company - we met up and talked it all through, which I think helped us both.

Agree with above. I was a whistleblower which resulted in someone loosing their job, I’ve never felt guilty over it. If I hadn’t then I think I’d have felt guilt.

if meeting is what you want to do, do it. The chances are this persons probably been building up the courage to text you.

That sounds sensible.

The only reason not to would be if you were afraid that reliving it would be detrimental to you

Talking it through with someone who was there can be massively supportive.

I think it would really help you to talk it through. She sounds as though she could be a good friend.