Feel like I’m stagnating as we can’t afford SMP

[Firsttimetrier]

I’ve been in my current position at work for just over 3 years and they offer a fantastic enhanced maternity policy. However, chances to progress is very limited and the pay is lower than the rest of the industry.

I would love to move companies but as we want to TTC #2, and on the higher wrong side of my 30s, we don’t have the time to wait for me to be in a new company for a year to receive their enhanced maternity pay.

I was wondering if this is a common scenario for women? Or do you just take the gamble and move companies whilst TTC and find a way to live off SMP?

If an excellent opportunity came up I’d take it and live off SMP or have a shorter maternity leave. If a longer maternity leave is important to you then stay at your current company until you have DC2.

Want to or are currently TTC? If I was in your position, I'd TTC now in your current job. After all, being able to coast in your job whilst feeling rubbish and pregnant is no bad thing imo.

And then you'll be off for some time and then likewise, being able to coast whilst getting into the routine of 2 kids might be helpful. How long do you need to return to not pay anything back? I'd start job hunting a few months before that point.

I thought with most organisations, once you qualify for SMP you’d also qualify for their enhanced OMP package. In which case, you don’t need to wait a year, just not get pregnant until you’ve started with the new company (so that you have 26 weeks’ service at 15 weeks before EWC).

Can you check the websites of the companies you’re applying to see if they’ve published their maternity policies?

Unfortunately it's very common for women to stagnate in careers and fail to progress because of "family friendly" benefits.

I stayed in a job years longer than I should have when my DC were young as it was part-time and offered great flexibility which was important to me at the time.
Loads of women are in this position and you really just have to do what feels right for you at the time

Lots of companies have policies that you have to have been working there a year before getting enhanced pay.

Yep, I’ve checked and a lot of them say things like “It’s available for employees who’ve worked for the company for one year at the qualifying week”. So actually, this means I’d have to be there for at least 6 months before getting enhanced pay?

@Uncooperativefingers We’ve given it a go this cycle but now wondering if I should jump ship for more pay/progression or stay and crack on properly.

I fell pregnant with my first very quickly, second cycle actively trying, but obviously no idea how it would go this time around now we’re slightly older!

It’s quite infuriating that this is the case. Sadly, we can’t have it all.

I stayed ten years longer (of which 18 months was on three maternity leaves) than I ought to have done with one employer because of maternity benefits, and moved employer at 40. So in my anecdotal experience, yes. When I was ttc#1, which wasn’t straightforward, I gave myself one more year before I gave up the (to me) hypothetical well paid maternity leave for a real life career change. Feel pregnant on month 12 the weekend I was successful for an internal promotion, so it did work out in the end.

If you literally get a job tomorrow, you'll have to wait 3 months before TTC to qualify for mat benefits. How realistic is it that you'll find a new job quickly? And when you say can't afford to be on SMP, is that really can't afford it or things will be tight for a while?

I got an internal promotion then found out I was pg a few weeks later. It was tough getting through the first trimester and getting to grips with the new job tbh. But obviously better in the long run, so I understand your conflict.

Another thing to consider is shared parental leave benefits for your OH. Does he have a package he could use to help bridge the gap financially?

I would hold on where you are. I did that and purposely had two kids close together with the intention of leaving after having DC2. It worked out. I did stay on after having DC2 but not ages.

if you can I'd TTC now and stick it out at your current company, in the hope it happens soon, then you can job hunt whilst you are on maternity leave or as soon as you return. There are places that offer enhanced mat leave from day 1 (my employer does, a university) but I think it's fairly rare.

How long do you have to stay at your company before you can leave without paying back the enhanced pay?

If the pay is low, how much better off would you be if you did get pregnant straight away but had nine months of the pay rise before maternity leave on SMP, plus the higher pay when you returned?

Id stay where you are and ttc and get through the small child stage at your current company and then start thinking of moving on. I moved jobs after maternity leave on DD1 as the company Id been with for a decade closed down and it was horrible starting a new job with a small child. DH was amazing and if DD needed to be collected early from childcare due to sickness he was able to do most of it but i found it difficult with a new job and going back after maternity leave and it was a horrible unsettled time for me. My new job was the polar opposite of family friendly and a toxic environment and I only stayed there for about ten months.

OH works in education, so no decent parental leave there.

When I say can’t afford SMP, I mean things will be tight for a while. I currently get 6
months paid at my current role too, so it’s a big benefit to lose!

I’ve raised with the head of my team this afternoon about progressing up at least a grade but not very hopeful as the company is going through a huge restructure and making a lot of people redundant (not my role though).

I think officially it’s a month, so not bad at all, so I could totally stay put, hope I get pregnant soon, have a year mat leave which is 6 months full pay and then look for a new role towards the end of that year.

Thank you everyone for advice too, it does seem like staying put is the best idea but it really grinds my gears that we have to think like that.

DH and I have always earner the same and been similar levels in our careers, but we're definitely seeing the gender pay gap kick in where he’s progressed and had promotions whilst I’ve remained at the same level/pay for a while and can’t really progress further without jumping ship, but then that holds me back in other areas (waiting to have another child). Men just don’t have to think this way, they can move jobs whilst you are pregnant and it’s absolutely fine.

Something else to consider is whether you'd be able to share parental leave with your DH. We had to do this when I had DD, as I am the higher earner and it would have been too tight for me to be off much longer. That might mitigate the impact on your career/earning power, but you both need to be really on board with it.

One extra benefit of it for us was that DP was never under any illusion that I was sitting at home on my arse/going for coffees and walks round the shops while I was off on mat leave, because when he was off on SPL with DD (from 5-11mo) he really got to experience the reality of looking after a baby all day, minus the endless breastfeeding.

Conversely, when I had DS several years earlier with my ex, he took 2 weeks off, wasn't much help, and then cheerfully went back to work (mostly from home) and left me to do everything child- and house-related, including all night wakings until DS was 11mo, all housework, all cooking, all admin etc etc, because I was 'off', after all.

Actually as SPL becomes more popular, then men will absolutely have to start thinking about it. My DH currently gets 6mo SPL at full pay. We've both said there's no way he's leaving his company until we've finished growing our family!

Luckily he's fab and super keen to use those 6 months to parent. I have to say, I do look at men who have decent SPL options and don't take them with suspicion

What would the pay difference be? Could you save the difference to use on maternity leave?

Might not quite top it up but would help balance it out at least a little, and still be worth it in the long term.

Yes, I have been there. I had mine at 36 and 39 so I understand why you don't want to move. I also didn't want to be on probation when pregnant.

I vote stay put and get serious about trying… but that’s what I did so I am biased

@GreatGateauxsby I think this is the best case scenario and hope we get a BFP quite quickly as I think I’ll kick myself if it takes a year and I could have moved into a higher paid position and then had enhanced maternity pay. On the flip side, I’d be kicking myself if we held off to move positions and then it doesn’t happen.

Hate that it’s such a gamble in some sense.