Outing but need help

[Lookingallthetime]

This is outing but I need help. Please be kind, my confidence is already in the loo. I made a mistake and stayed out of my industry way too long.
I'm talking 15 years.
I had a job in that time but I was technically self employed and the client was my ex. He and I have fallen out so no way I'll get a reference and I don't want to ask him anyway. The job before that, the company no longer exists and the one before that I stayed at for just four months and owed them money!
I'm in a situation where if I don't list him on the CV it looks like I've been out of work a lot longer. If I do, I may have to explain and a potential employer could think I don't want them speaking to him because I did something wrong or was sacked etc.
I'm also in a situation where my last decent job of any length was 20 years ago. What should I do? Thank you

I think possibly you explain (with as much neutrality as you can about your ex) and say you don't want to offer him up as a reference as he would be biased (tbh they don't need to know he would biased towards negative)

Re the company that went bust (put it on your cv in brackets such as (company dissolved 2012)

But your going to need more current references- temp jobs with an agency might help or volunteering I'd another route. Neither is perfect. Or can you use any clients your still on good terms with re self employed work ?

List your work history, you can explain at a later date why you can't get a reference.

Not a lot of help but essentially references from an employer are bland, useless usually just listing your date of employment and sick leave.

Does your industry have any kind of heightened security or due diligence requirements? No employer has ever actually contacted my referees and that's normal in my industry.

If you were self-employed, you could use a statement from HMRC in lieu of a reference. Sone employers would be fine with that, given the circumstances. It'd just be about demonstrating that that element of your CV was real and that you didn't make up your self-employment while really spending years watching morning TV in your pyjamas.

Don't let this issue stop you from getting out there.