Role is untenable, what are my options?

[Angelof29th]

I changed roles last year after a relatively happy 15 years in a similar job at another organisation. I’ve tried hard to make it work and there are some elements of the job I really like but I just don’t seem to be a good fit. My line manager’s management style just doesn’t work for me and after another incident last week where I was berated in front of colleagues, I just don’t want to stay. I am the main wage earner in my house so I can’t just leave without securing something else first. I’m middle management level in a local authority, I’d wondered about using an employment agency or the like so I can get out quickly, had anyone done similar?

Wouldn't that affect your pension though?
(presuming you have a good few years of service in the LA?)

I'd stick it out for now, while looking around within and around other local LAs.

Yes, that would be the best @Dacadactyl I just want to leave before my line manager erodes my self confidence any further. I should be more resilient but I’ve had a lot going on and the way this individual manages is just wearing me down.

Do you have a whistleblowing facility? I'd be reporting your LM for bullying.

Can you go to your line manager's manager? Criticising you in front of a colleague is unprofessional and it's not tolerated in a local authority setting.

I don't see that you have anything to lose if you're at the point of looking for a new job.

The next stages for you could also be (if you chose to) - escalate - get signed off sick - negotiate payment to leave/reference - and off you go to pastures new.

I would be seriously thinking of my next steps but not allowing this line manager to push you out, on the contrary, make them sweat.

You shouldn't have to put up with being shouted at, at work. What would happen if, next time your manager raised their voice, you said: I refuse to be shouted at. Please find a way to explain what needs to happen without resorting to raising your voice. If it happens again I will make a complaint.

Yes thanks @KnickerlessParsons there is a policy for everything but I’m reluctant to go down that route as I think I’ll just upset myself and I doubt there will be any positive outcome.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe you’re right, it’s not acceptable in that type of environment, I’ve never experienced it before and I’ve worked in local government for a long time. I just don’t feel strong enough to go through the process, I just want to go.

Please think carefully about that, Angelof29th, I was 'pushed out' or would have been but already had a new job lined up in the private sector which I've happily been in for 15 years. One of my colleagues was pushed out.

Agency staff came in as the council was put into 'special measures', agency staff put above my colleague to manage and she was bullied. She went on sick for almost a year, got about £30k in a payout as well as her salary - and went on to a new job elsewhere as a promotion.

If you walk out now you will I think regret it. You have a long-standing history and reputation and you deserve to be treated with respect. Your line manager needs pulling up, not by you but if you just go they will think they've won. If you go on sick leave you will have time to think and consider and can put together a case for HR. Councils are notorious for bullying behaviour and allowing it to fester.

Certainly do look around for a new job but do it whilst you are on sick leave and make sure that you get time to rest for yourself.

Are you in the union? That is something else to think about if not. Bide your time, gather your evidence and then WHAM, hit them with it.

I hate seeing women being bullied out of their jobs, it's not on.

for you though, I know it's painful and a shitty time but don't let them get away with it.

Thank you @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe this individual is just tearing me down. I’ve been criticised for not being reactive enough, for not being confident enough then most recently for being too reactive. I can’t do right for doing wrong.

What you can do, straight away, is tell her that you're logging every incident now and will report to HR. That should stop her in her tracks and make her much more careful in the way she speaks to you.

The way I would do this, if that would be difficult for you, is to put it in an e-mail to her, copying in her manager. Mention the berating incident and how it's not the first time - and that you are now keeping a record and will report to HR if needed. Nothing to stop you copying in HR at the same time if you want.

Or, if you really are at the end of your tether, go to your GP, get signed off sick and start the process now. Put in a formal grievance against your line manager.

And whilst that's rumbling on, try to put it out of your mind.

Thank you @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe i feel a bit more empowered now. I think I do need to stay until I find something else but your suggestions will help me to manage the rest of the time I’m there.

Keep posting back to your thread, I'm in your corner and I know how this goes and how it feels whilst it's happening.

You're rightly thinking about what's going on in your own head and it's all whirling around in there. What you don't and won't know is that once you set off the process, your line manager will realise that they've opened a can of works and they will start doubting themselves. Good enough too.

I think if you post here, you'll find that you're not on your own, there are many women who've been forced to leave or have their working days made so uncomfortable. Utterly cowardly managers do that.

Sleep well, eat well and try not to live in your head, this won't go on forever and you will be fine.

Can your union help you? My aunt went through similar at a local authority and her union helped her get a good settlement, counselling and good references. She was signed off for a long time whilst it was sorted out and she didn’t want to return to the same environment even though the culprit was removed from post after the investigation.

Thanks so much for your replies @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe and @KatPurrson this is just so alien to me, my managers have always been very happy with my work. I was lucky to have an excellent manager for about 10 years who could bring out the best in their staff, I’m hoping this is just a bump in the road and I’ll be able to get out and into somewhere where I am a better fit.

I'd say if at all possible a move to another job within this organisation would be your best bet. Chances are if you don't get on with this individual other folk might have felt the same. Would it be worth discussing it with the next person up the hierarchy. You certainly shouldn't have to put up with being berated in front of colleagues.

Another vote for getting in touch with your union.

Put the feelers out but don't pigeonhole your experience or ambitions. Say you are open

I used to temp and I know it can take time to land on your feet. Sometimes the company is good but the manager bad and vice versa. Sometimes you land the only bad manager in the company.

My last company had a great culture and it was a startup within the company. My manager was lazy, rude and after COVID insisted she alone would wfh.
She overstepped the lines a lot and was rude to a lot of rising junior staff who had been tasked with improving processes.
On one particular call she asked me if the mistake I made was due to laziness which was rich coming from someone faked for laziness and constantly offloading her stuff onto me. She became really overbearing and I decided to broadcast it to the office but forgot when you take THE USB out it automatically mutes the speakers so they missed it all
I spent a lot of time smoothing things over with the part timer in the team which changed every year and providing reports and information to accounts because she was slow and sent incomplete info . The guy in accounts was charged with improving her work processes due to the high value. She had overall responsibility but in practice I did all the work but couldn't change anything due to her stubbornness. I had to smooth things over there too as she threatened him on the phone
Sorry for the rant 😬

I could have written your post OP - similar circumstances, middle management at LA, love my job and am good at it.
I have involved union, and it’s help the initial problem but manager has ramped up her efforts, effectively having HR support her in her efforts to bully me out.
I hate bullies, and am loathed to let them get away with it, but going down the union/HR route can make things worse in the long run.
My advice would be to keep contemporaneous notes starting today (who what when where - everything said & done). Back up all convos with an email and bc a copy to a non-work email address.
Dont leave without having something lined up - if it gets to the point you going to walk, go off sick instead.
I feel for you, its horrendous 💐

Bullying doesn’t meet the criteria for whistleblowing.