Less praise more senior I get

[tobeconfused]

As I'm recently promoted and manage a larger team now I shouldn't really be doing work where I run high visibility projects.

I did however start one 10 months ago and it recently wrapped up, several months after my promotion.

This meant I was working two jobs essentially, my new role and this huge project from my past role.

After all this time of pouring blood sweat and tears into it, sacrificing time with my children and notably having a very intense run up to Christmas thanks to getting it launched in time to be successful, and giving so much of this whole year to it- I was expecting, if it was a roaring success to get some kind of appreciation.

It has just wrapped up and in conclusion it was wildly successful and like any good project I didn't do it alone but I was directly responsible.

It's had lots of visibility but somehow lots of people have jumped in at the end being front and centre. It's upset me because whilst I know at my level I won't get praise outside of my direct manager, this really was a huge project and I did so much more behind the scenes than some people know. Others know full well but haven't called me out directly publicly, only in private 1:1.

Now so many stakeholders are across it and emails are flying around saying 'we all did' such a great job, and saying everyone was in the details. I mean they weren't all in the details, that was me.

I should be happy but no one is directly thanking me. A couple have done in passing but some people who were minimally involved just got the same recognition reward as me.

Would anyone else feel like this? I recognise maybe I have a thing with praise and I didn't get any as a child (highly dysfunctional and unloving family).

It just all feels like an anticlimax. When it felt like it was going off course several times before Christmas, I took the burden and got it on track, and if it went wrong it was all on me but now it's a huge success it's a huge team success. To get it off the ground was an unbelievable amount of work, months worth and it's all been forgotten.

some people who rightfully deserve credit got it but it's been diluted with people who were not much to do with it and even more so no one has acknowledged I led the whole thing.

Who do you report to? I'd have expected them to send a group email saying "we did it but especially thanks to @tobeconfused for her hard work".

I have found this too as I have become more senior. I am the head of my team now and no one ever says well done! It's depressing but I guess I do earn more than my team.

I'm in a job where I never get praise for anything so I don't expect it. I think maybe you're expecting too much. Have you considered therapy for the childhood issues?

@marlfield it's an international company and this was a local project. It spanned across multiple countries but the stakeholders aren't in my management line.

I did tell my manager how successful it was and they know I was directly responsible. In fact the embarrassing thing is I presented to 100s of people across the org on this project so everyone knew I was responsible.

Now it's wrapped up it's this big team effort and no one has obviously acknowledged me, just thrown me into the group acknowledgment. Behind the scenes I'm getting lots of praise but I find it odd. In the past I'd have messages flooding in, recognition rewards.

I did a similar project 6 years ago which was a success and got a spa voucher. This time I was told 'you did it again' and major kudos 1:1 but that same stakeholder gave out the rewards and nothing was directly towards me. Still time I guess.., maybe next month.

Have you spoken to your manager about this? What did they say?

@Oblomov24 I could never say out loud that I've had to share the credit. Would be inappropriate.

I was never very senior but never got thanked for setting up and completing a project. It was always taken for granted that I would do it efficiently, even though I was working above the grade I was being paid at. If you are so senior, you will at least be paid well and really don't get why you should also expect thanks.

I think this is (sadly) part and parcel of having a more senior role.
It's a growth opportunity for you to learn to lean on yourself only for recognition for a job well done. I'm sure it's recognised, but typically - in my experience (C-level at large company) praise is rare.
Just enjoy your success.
Well done! 🙌

At the risk of stating the obvious… you are more senior now so it is expected that you will put in the extra effort and pull the rabbits out of the hat.

I assume there is a performance review process for which you collect feedback? In your position I would send an email, separately and individually, to some of the senior stakeholders, outlining what was achieved, your role in it, and asking for feedback. That way you get the praise that you are (understandably) wanting, in an appropriate forum, and in a way that both furthers your career and raises your profile.

That’s the thing about becoming more senior. I have never worked harder than I do now and praise comes rarely. I have confidence and pride in what I do though, and that’s enough for me. I do make sure I recognise efforts from my team, praise is underused and underrated in the workplace and I like them to know I appreciate their efforts.

If you look into the hallmarks of strong leadership you'll see it equates:

-ensuring your team gets the visibility, because they're paid a lot less than you
-picking up the flack if it goes wrong
--doing a great job for its own sake and getting used to not needing a specific pat on the back, especially if you're paid a decent salary. The best you can hope for is at your annual review when you get to highlight what you were proud of
-Praise to the collective effort means that the people who are paid a lot less but have put in the hard yards, get the recognition. Yours will come in your salary packet. If you don't think you're being paid enough that's a different matter!