Is it possible to make yourself more resilient at work?

[Namechangeforthis88]

I just know this is going to be what they want me to agree to/set myself as a development objective. I take the knocks so badly that at this point, in my forties, twenty some years with no promotion, I want to just wave the white flag and accept I'll be plodding along until retirement. When I've had temporary promotion I quite enjoyed the challenge and I know the responsibility brings out a better employee in me. But I can't seem to make the cut to get it permanently and I cba going through the process repeatedly.

So I'm inclined to say to my fresh faced team leader that this is just the way I'm made. I get plenty of satisfaction from other areas of life and challenge myself where the risk/reward stacks up. I don't think a personality transplant is on the cards.

I am possibly being thick but I genuinely don't understand what resilience has to do with this?

As in able to bounce back fast from knocks like being unsuccessful at promotion or applying for moves.

That sounds really frustrating. Difficult to recommend a particular course of action to you but if you’re interested in resilience and how to think about it, I found this book really useful personally. Covers resilience in the workplace. https://www.psychologicaltherapybooks.co.uk/product/developing-resilience-cognitive-behavioural-approach-2nd-edition/

But I can't seem to make the cut to get it permanently and I cba going through the process repeatedly.

If profession is something you want I’d be asking for very clear feedback on why you manage temporary promotions but aren’t successful in your application for permanent roles. If you’re able to hear the feedback that will help your resilience because you’ll be actively working on yourself, which builds resilience.

It's not clear what you want. Do you want a permanent promotion, or do you want to be better at dealing with not getting that?

That's a very good question that I find hard to answer @WingSlutz . Feel like I have not achieved my potential in life and I am happier in my work at the higher level. I largely sleepwalk the current level. I need to cope better with being turned down, but that feels unachievable in itself.

@Jellycatspyjamas I have turned down offers from line manager to look at applications I have done, but I have asked for feedback from selection panels and taken it on board. I think I am a very, very guarded person at heart and despise needing help.

I'll check out that book @Evenmoretired44 .

Another action for today I'll send previous applications to line manager.

Making some progress. Thanks everyone. I needed to hear things from neutral people.