Am I making a huge career mistake?

[Mumma2015X]

Hi,

Im really struggling at the moment. I started my teaching degree 2 years ago to become a primary school teacher at the age of 33. I found school a really challenging place due to bulling etc.. hence why I have only just decided to continue my studies plus it works around my 3 children.

I started a job at my children’s school back in 2022, I loved it, love the children and loved teaching… however 2 Teaching Assistants were dismissed and it was all kept secret… I later discovered from school mum gossip it was due to a private WhatsApp group chat with several teachers that I wasn’t in, I have received the messages from HR and they were mainly nasty things about me but also making fun of my children, calling them ugly and comparing them to deformed children… although they were sacked the pre school hired one and the other had children at the school herself so I decided to leave and take my children out.

My children started a new school back in December and have settled really well.. I decided to work at a different school to my children as I felt I had made them vulnerable by working at their school.. however I feel like the whole school environment is really clicky and it’s just not me… am I wasting my time with my degree? I never thought growing up as an adult I would feel bullied and vulnerable..

Does anyone here work within a Primary school and have any advice please? I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me and I’m worrying that our children are going to grow up in this toxic environment. Is this normal behaviour?

I don’t think you are wasting your time
The HR situation is appalling- and speaks volumes about the culture at the school. You are best off out of there.

Some work places do have clicky staff rooms and there is little that can be done. Rise above it - don’t show that it bothers you

For some people it’s their only power / drama
have some stock phrases ready for any daft comments

Best of luck with your career - don’t let others put you off

What a horrible experience for your OP. That sounds awful and those women were vile! I would not have wanted to teach in the school my kids went to - I would have found it too difficult so I totally get the choice you've made to move them and you to a different school.
I would say though that yes, some school staff are clicky. But having worked in the corporate world too, it's just the same! Work colleagues can be horrible to each other at times - bullying isn't just in schools, sadly.
I taught in schools for years and there were definite moments which were hard to deal with; staff dramas etc. However, your experience seems absolutely dreadful and definitely not something I've come across before - not on this scale, you were definitely very vey unlucky!
I don't always get on with everybody and I'm not always interested in making friends with everybody but I loved my teaching years. I used to shut my door and spend my 6 hours with my amazing class and tried not to listen to the noise; whether that was staff squabbles, dramas, inspection shite or whatever.
In fact, from my experience of dealing with many teachers over the years it it definitely NOT unusual for teachers to be somewhat insular, quiet and not really adult-friendly! This might sound weird but the job is working with children. Yes, you need to work with adults and speak to parents but for 6 hours you're teaching children - that is the important thing. So (sorry I've waffled a bit here) I'd say don't give up yet. Keep talking to your colleagues, mentors etc and lean in to friends and family who won't mind you sounding off. Teaching can be such a great career and it would be such a shame for these few vile individuals to shove you out.

You sound exactly like me here, I just love teaching the children and being someone that they can trust and look up to. Like I mentioned I adore the job, I get such a buzz when I see how far the children have come throughout the term with their learning and it feels great to know I have helped them with that journey.

it’s just so horrid to feel that we spend so much time preaching to them to be kind and some adults can’t even be kind themselves.

The Headteacher and management team at my new school seem amazing and I love their visions and values. I’m just really struggling to move forward from what’s happened in the past.

thank you for replying, it means a lot! X

What an absolute disgusting experience you had. I wonder whether you could have gone for constructive dismissal there. no wonder it's taking you time to recover. I really hope you make some great friends at your new place and your children are happy in their new school.

You’re not wasting your time, you’ve just not found your tribe.

This.
Schools do tend to be clickey until you find the one you like. My second work placement was in a horrible school and it really put me off. I genuinely questioned if I was cut out for this job. I’m now a few years in, middle management and a really successful class teacher. I’m good at what I do and I’m really glad I hung in there. Don’t give up OP, we need good teachers. Don’t let some horrible, bitchy staff stop you.