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Original poster

Unhappy in current job

4 replies

TheUnforgive · 10/04/2024 15:33

So I'm a Dad and want opinions from anyone!

I left my well paid job about 6 months ago for a very similar job with lower pay but more family friendly hours. This freed up my wife to work more hours in the evening in her part time job.

Pretty much as soon as I started I realised I made a mistake. I don't enjoy the job as much, it's more boring and less pay. Later on I noticed the pay cut was a lot more than I estimated (my own fault for not properly doing the calculations) and I was financially struggling for the first time in years. The obvious answer would be to go back to old job, but my wife isn't keen on that as it means reducing her hours or quitting altogether.

It's worth adding that she's not very good with money, hardly helps with the bills and whenever I try to talk to her about all this she doesn't want to know. Basically she's happy with the way things are and if she buries her head in the sand it will go away. I get that she wants to make her own money, but at the expense of me being unhappy at work and potentially struggling to pay the bills?

Advice anyone, am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ShyWasp · 10/04/2024 16:08

It's not unreasonable to want a job you enjoy.

Life's too short.

But, your wife also deserves a job she enjoys too... so it's a fine balance.

Maybe start looking at other jobs that offer flexi-working conditions and see if there are some other alternatives that would mean you can both be happy.

Mrsttcno1 · 10/04/2024 16:23

I have 2 answers for you really depending on which is the “main” reason you want a different job.

If the main reason is that you’re unhappy at work, then honestly I think suck it up and yes you are unreasonable. It sounds like your wife’s career took a back seat and only now is she able to dedicate some more time to a job she wants- it’s give and take, and now is your time to give and for her to take.

BUT if the main reason genuinely is that you (as a household) cannot cope financially if you stay in this job and her in her job, then you’re not unreasonable to have to almost force the issue a bit because although being happy at work is important, being able to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table is more important. So if it’s a financial thing then it’s not unreasonable for you to sit down with your wife and put it to her practically e.g. we are £x a month short so either you need to find a different job with higher income OR she needs to find a higher paying job/contribute more, and at the point it’s a necessity financially the “unhappy at work” just takes a back seat.

Original poster
TheUnforgive · 10/04/2024 18:11

Mrsttcno1 · 10/04/2024 16:23

I have 2 answers for you really depending on which is the “main” reason you want a different job.

If the main reason is that you’re unhappy at work, then honestly I think suck it up and yes you are unreasonable. It sounds like your wife’s career took a back seat and only now is she able to dedicate some more time to a job she wants- it’s give and take, and now is your time to give and for her to take.

BUT if the main reason genuinely is that you (as a household) cannot cope financially if you stay in this job and her in her job, then you’re not unreasonable to have to almost force the issue a bit because although being happy at work is important, being able to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table is more important. So if it’s a financial thing then it’s not unreasonable for you to sit down with your wife and put it to her practically e.g. we are £x a month short so either you need to find a different job with higher income OR she needs to find a higher paying job/contribute more, and at the point it’s a necessity financially the “unhappy at work” just takes a back seat.

Thanks both for your advice!

I should add that her part time job is minimum wage at a shop, and not really a "career" for her as she doesn't exactly love it.

Also, my current job allows me to spend more time with my young kids, 7 and 5, which is a big plus, and I'll have more freedom with my job choice when they are older. But then the financial situation could at some point force me to do this earlier, as you mentioned above.

Thanks again for the comments.

OP posts:
workoholic · 10/04/2024 23:30

TheUnforgive · 10/04/2024 18:11

Thanks both for your advice!

I should add that her part time job is minimum wage at a shop, and not really a "career" for her as she doesn't exactly love it.

Also, my current job allows me to spend more time with my young kids, 7 and 5, which is a big plus, and I'll have more freedom with my job choice when they are older. But then the financial situation could at some point force me to do this earlier, as you mentioned above.

Thanks again for the comments.

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You both have a right to be happy at work.

Look for a new job.

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