Work/mental health WWYD?

[Min16]

Hi, I need to make a decision about work and would like others opinions.

I have a 4 year old who has global development delay and autism. Doctors say probable ADHD too but they can't diagnose this until my son is at least 6. My son is wonderful but is constantly on the go and doesn't sleep properly at night. Bedtime takes hours and he is usually awake 2am-5am most nights. He requires constant supervision due to his risk factors.

I currently work 15 hours a week term time only. Have worked for this company for 14 years, my boss is wonderful, company has been really accommodating to me going full time to part time then having to reduce hours further due to nursery cutting sons hours. WFH 1 day a week, 2 days in office. Job is not particularly stressful and I enjoy it. Perfect hours for when my son starts school this year.

Son currently at nursery when I'm at work. Term time only hours too. Has an EHCP and constant 1:1 ratio required.

I have no help from family/friends so literally no time to rest. I'm either at work or caring for my son.

I have struggled with my mental health for a few years but always managed to get on with it and it's never effected my ability to work. Feel like constantly at breaking point but always just keep going and push through because what choice do we have? But I've now been having bad panic attacks for the last 4 months. Doing anything is a struggle and even having panic attacks at home. I think it's a accumulation of years of no respite/ bad sleep etc. I have taken this week off work sick so I can attempt to rest while son is ay nursery and I have finally made a doctors appointment and hoping they will prescribe me with something for my extreme anxiety. But I feel like I can't continue the way I have been.

I have applied for DLA for my son. Won't get decision until at least August. If he is awarded middle or high tier I will apply for carers allowance and will then be in a position to be able to quit my job. This isn't guaranteed though, even though I think I have enough information and more that enough evidence from professionals that show just how much support he needs.

I don't feel I can carry on until August when I will know the decision.

What would you do? Quit job now, struggle financially for a few months with the hope DLA will be awarded at the required level. Take the risk that if required level isn't given you've left a cushy job with perfect hours. But I would have time to rest, hopefully get rid of the panic attacks, be able to be a better parent as a result, be able to keep on top of life/home tasks.

Or do I how rest and medication will help and try and continue as best I can through until September when I'll know my options.

I'm just worried if I try and push through I'll have a major breakdown/ medical situation which is no good for anyone.

Do you think I'm being dramatic and this is just life and I have to continue to get on with it?

I wouldn’t do either option OP, what I would do is explain the situation to the GP and get a sick note even if it is for 3/4 weeks. Enough time to get started potentially on medication, to take some time to yourself to relax and focus on you, and get a clearer head. Depending on how you feel you could then go back to work phased return or get a further sick note. Hopefully a combination of the break & medication will help massively then in pushing on until you hear a final decision and then you have the full picture to make an informed decision.

Genuinely I would not rely on the fact you will get DLA at the required level, Carers etc. It’s a very complex system and you really do often have to fight hard for every penny, even if you think you have a strong case. I’d be doing everything in my power to keep the job you have until you have that information because you will likely struggle to find another job with those hours & flexibility if you quit and then need a job. The only thing that would change my mind would be if you have a partner who is able to support you financially no matter the outcome.

Thank you. Yes I think you're right and that's a good approach. I'm only 2 days into being off work and trying to make a final decision now is probably not wise. I do have a partner who works. His wage would be enough for us to pay for the basics but my worry would be how we would deal with unexpected expenses and price rises

Honestly I think go to the GP and get a sick note, give yourself some time to recover and then have a re-think when you are feeling less overwhelmed by the whole thing. Have a look at your finances as a household while you are off work, see if there’s anywhere you can cut back/change provider etc that would potentially take the pressure off of the situation financially as well.

You don’t have to make a decision right now, take some time off to look after yourself first x