How to manage a perfectionist micromanager

[PeartreeOrchard]

I have been promoted, but I have just been advised there has been a reshuffle and that I will not be supporting the manager I interviewed with.

I have been told I am going to be supporting a manager I have worked with previously. We worked together for 6 months and she frustrated me so badly I interviewed and took a role off the team to get away from her! (It was a great move to be fair and I've been very happy for the intervening 4 years)

I was hoping time would have mellowed her out, but in a catch up she proved to be just the same. Last time I was just a general team minion, so didn't have to deal with her all that often and she still made me rage quit to another team. This time I will be her direct report.

This time I can't bail because:

1. I worked hard for this promotion
2. I am halfway through a work-funded expensive qualification
3. COL means I need the increase in money just to cover my outgoings.

So I need HELP

Can anyone point me to podcasts, books, talks or groups that help you manage micromanagers particularly one whose first instinct is to say 'No' without even listening and then refuse to discuss it or back down even when it becomes obvious that 'Yes' was the right answer. Or revert to the 'it is my way or the highway because I'm the only competent one here' mentality. (they are very good at their job, to be fair but they strangle progression or fresh insights as they have a death grip on everything having to come through them)

Also any tips you have learned dealing with micromanagers in the wild would be welcome.

I should mention, that she genuinely is a really lovely person in the canteen or break room or outside of the office, but I am not sure what happens when she walks through the office doors because she has a full personality transplant.

I had a dreadful one. He used to tweak my work, pass it up and then it would be returned with corrections back to my original. Sympathies.

what seemed to help was frequent back briefs to him on my progress. He was scared of “up” so I made it my mission to understand what they liked and how they liked it presented. Some liked a cover note followed by verbal brief, some liked 2 pages max, some didn’t like the word “that”. Then I could say to him, “CFO hates pie charts so I’ve presented it like this, there’s an annex with pie charts if it goes outside the C suite”. That helped a bit.

good luck!!

I got another job in the end.....

I could have written this.

My micromanager is turning a lovely job into not a lovely job !

I'm actively being sabotaged too, so so strange!

I'm not sure what to do about it either, I think I will have to change departments

Hmmm mine finds mistakes in anything - things you’ll have proof read 3 times. Im
10’months in- first few months was rough. But I faked it til I made it with the positivity and asked for her advice on things- which she loved. I realised it’s not personal, she just wants things done her way and well. It takes ages-‘soemtimes I agree with what she says other times I read her stuff and it’s riddled with mistakes and I just quietly think “teehee”.

You just need to play the game, keep calm, not take it personally. Switch off when the day’s over. That’s all I can say.

I don’t cope well with micro management, however I do think you can make your life easier by managing ‘up’ well. And you’ll feel great if you can master someone like this.
this type of manager often needs additional reassurance, especially until they know you’re truly a safe pair of hands. So frequent planning sessions, backing your decisions up with solid evidence, being proactive etc.

I was in a session with a work coach last week. Unrelated to the micromanager issue - they were invited about some training.

They did a two minute little set piece on managing interactions and it just so happened to deal with 'the manager with an automatic 'no' response'. They framed it as almost springing a 'surprise' and people's default is to go to no - so always forwarn and give processing space before asking for a decision was advised.

First, send an email saying that you will be looking to book sometime in a day or so. Then mention a very brief set of the issues. State your preferred response but add that you don't need a decision right now but would like their insight and contributions they would like to add. Mention you look forward to chatting about it in the meeting.

Forwarns and give processing time.

So far this has worked most of the time.

they recommended a couple of books - I will check them out and see if they have tips or hints.

If they do I will add them here.

How about proposing a 'ground rules/expectations/ways of working' meeting, using the pretext that you have never been in the direct line manager/line manager relationship before? You could couch this as 'I'm really keen to do a good job so I'd like us to spend half and hour agreeing how we work together in a way that means you get the best out of me'. The meeting would give you the chance to tell her about planning, evidence, and regular updates, as suggested by PPs. A quick email after the meeting summarising what you have agreed would give you something to refer back to when she starts micro-managing again.

My only experience of having a micro-manager was sorted out for me by a senior colleague who walked past when the micro-manager was berating me for leaving my desk without telling her where I was going (the loo!). The senior colleague took the micro-manager into her office and challenged her behaviour. Immediately afterwards, she apologised to me and her behaviour improved.