Important work event clashing with long-arranged personal plans. How to approach with new boss?

[RobotandPenguin]

What would your workplace do in this situation? Just trying to assess likely reactions before I make a proposal to my boss.

I have recently started a new job, still in the same organisation I have worked for a while but it’s a completely new team/building etc. There is an annual conference later this year which is very specific to my work and it would be very beneficial for me to attend. The conference is literally at the other end of the UK and we’re talking an 8 hour journey by train to get there. The conference lasts two days – Tuesday and Wednesday. My new boss is keen for me to go. Due to the travel distance Monday and Thursday would be travel days.

Here’s the problem. I’m going to a concert in my home city on the Monday evening. This is a real bucket list moment for seeing my absolutely favourite band live and I’m unlikely to get another chance to see them. Tickets were very expensive and booked over a year ago). Both DH and I have been beside ourselves with excitement for this event and splashed out on this in lieu of birthday and Christmas present for each other last year.

I have a few questions: Firstly, can my employers refuse to allow me to spend my Monday evening (non-working time) in the way I please, so that I can attend a work event the following day? Can I refuse to go to the conference on the grounds of already having a personal commitment which wouldn’t allow me to travel in advance?

I have already taken the Monday as leave so that DH and I could make a day of it, and my new boss has accepted and honoured the leave as approved by my previous line manager before switching jobs. He doesn’t seem to have yet realised the dates and conflict with his proposal to have me travel on that day. Technically though, I don’t really need the day’s leave. I could work until 5 as usual and still get to the gig so this is less about having leave booked and more about the evening plans.

The organisation has a no-fly policy. We have to travel by train unless there are very special circumstances. These circumstances are not outlined anywhere and I’m unsure if I can make a case for flying, based on my plans to go to a concert the night before. Again, I’d be keen to know how this would land (no pun intended) in other organisations? I have looked into options and could fly at 6am on the Tuesday morning and get a cab straight to the conference venue, arriving just as the keynote kicks off. I could then either fly home on the Wednesday night or stay overnight and get the train for the return journey. Flying would also be significantly cheaper (£100s) than the train, including saving at least one night’s accommodation although I realise that company policy is focused on the environmental effects rather than cost.

Obviously a late night followed by early flight isn't ideal but I'm willing to do this in order to compromise on the situation.

I know that my previous manager in the same company would likely accept this proposal and allow me to fly (it was a very flexible department with rules being fudged) but the new team seems a lot more rigid and “corporate” (can’t think of a better word) and I don’t want to rock the boat when I’m just in. Ideally I would attend the conference; it’s not just my boss’s desire to have me there, I’d actually like to go – but not at the expense of this concert, nor losing the money we’ve spent on tickets.

Right now, my boss keeps referring to me going to the conference but we haven’t properly discussed arrangements. I’d like to sit down with him and put cards on the table that I want to go but can’t travel on the Monday and offer him the flying solution but, as I say, am keen to hear others opinions before I decide on an approach for this. I absolutely do not want to start lying but I do wonder if I should invent a more sympathetic excuse (family commitments etc) than a concert?

Also for info, so that I don’t drip feed later. The conference is useful for my organisation in general and I have attended it in the past in my old job. It is however, even more directly related to my new job. The conference used to take place in a completely different month of the year so I’ve been caught off guard by the dates being announced and this didn’t and couldn’t have registered with me when organising the concert at that time. I also had no idea, almost 14 months ago when booking the tickets, that I’d be changing jobs and my attendance would be more important than it previously was.

I haven’t had a 1:1 conversation with my boss about this yet. I’m literally three days into the job and the interactions so far have been at team meetings where he’s said things like “of course we’re expecting that Robot will attend the conference and report back on these issues” so there has been nothing concrete and no opportunity to bring up the Monday issue yet. An email went out when the conference dates were announced, saying that due to distance, the arrangement would be travel Monday & Thursday with accommodation for three nights so I know that is the organisational view on things. The conference was announced around 2 weeks ago when I was in my notice period for my old job. My pre-arranged annual leave dates had already been sent over and accepted by him prior to this. I sent an email when the dates were announced asking if I’d be expected to go and could we meet to discuss arrangements as I have concerns about the timings but he hasn’t replied – just keeps referencing in meetings that I will be going to it.

I’m presuming you can’t just pop round to his office and knock on the door for a chat? I’m guessing remote working really falls down with things like that.

No. He doesn't seem to work in the office. As I understand it (bearing in mind I've only worked there for three days!) the whole team moved into new premises about two months ago and the new/current office is totally open plan whereas previously he had a private office. Actually I would have had one too under the old arrangements as I'm in a senior position. He doesn't like sitting in the main office so works mainly from home. He also lives close to work so can pop back and forth within the day - e.g. to be there for meetings. This is why I'm trying to set up a meeting by email. I'm getting the impression that a few folk in the team are exasperated by his unavailability but that's a different story. We're all supposed to work minimum 2 days in the office - I've been in all week (Monday was Easter BH and I don't work Fridays) and will do so for a while so that I get to know the team, before establishing a hybrid routine.

It’s really good that the annual leave was booked a long time ago and has already been transferred and approved. That makes things much easier than if you had just had an evening commitment that the company was not aware of until now. As others have said, you might well have been away somewhere else and not flying back to the UK till the Monday evening.

Is this a conference that your employer has to pay a fee for you to attend? I ask because we after get free delegate passes to certain events so there is less of an issue about missing parts of them. The converse applies if the attendance fee was expensive. That said, your flight and taxi in time for the keynote arrangement sounds ideal. You’ll be knackered after being out late for the concert but it’s perfectly doable.

I’m sure that nobody is going to kick up a fuss about it not being possible to use the eco-friendly train alternative transport on one occasion.

Good luck, let us know how you get on.

And maybe by next year you’ll be doing so well in the new job that you can secure a speaking or panel slot at the conference?

That’s a terrible example for him to set re the open plan, he sounds a bit self-important.

I work in an organisation that has just moved to a lovely new open-plan building. It has small non-bookable quiet rooms round the edge that, in practice, the senior people tend to occupy almost permanently because they have more frequent confidential conversations. However they do emerge into the open plan when they can. We are quite an old fashioned, hierarchical industry so I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how well some have transitioned, against my expectations.

I wouldn’t offer to pay the difference. You’re setting a precedent there for future events.
In all honesty, I wouldn’t go to the conference if they are being awkward about it, I’d be completely non apologetic and say it’s a shame but you’ve had this leave booked for ages.

Offer solutions if you wish - and you have already. It’s was in their gift to make this happen if they really wanted to. Don’t apologise for this situation or make it seem like it’s your fault or your boss will think it’s you being unreasonable.

I'd go in with
'I'm actually on leave on that monday for a longstanding family event so I can fly or get the train and get there when I get there. What would you prefer?'

Just tell him, offer the solution and leave it there - why didn't you tell him straight away when he mentioned you going?

You are on leave, it was booked ages ago and approved, and you have plans so can't change it

Yes it would be beneficial for you to be there, so they either fly you there, or you don't go

Possibly a long shot but is a night train an option to consider (even if only to demonstrate that you considered it as a way of meeting the company policy but it's unworkable for x,y,z reasons.

Dont talk about any of the plans on Monday.dont mention concert. It's no ones business but yours. You are not available you have long standing plans that cannot be lathered. Repeat repeat. And you can travel early Tuesday morning ...train if they want you to or flight if they would like you to be there at the start.

Broken record so you donr get pulled into discussing a concert,..... its not their business.

Just be honest and say something like i can't travel until the Tuesday morning, should I book a flight because I'm very keen on attending the conference?

You are definitely overthinking it, but it's understandable why! Just tell him you're keen to go but already have AL on the Monday for a non-movable commitment, so the options are fly on Tuesday morning at X cost, or travel on Tuesday and attend Wednesday only - which would he prefer?

He works from home and doesn’t reply to emails?!

Can you phone him?

Don't offer to pay for the flights. If your company want you to attend, they'll shoulder the costs.

Agree as a starting point. However it’s clear that OP does want to attend the conference, so she needs to be wary of them saying “oh well, never mind, shame you can’t go” and giving the place to someone else.

ve already emailed to say I'd like to talk to him about my attendance at the conference as I have concerns about arrangements but he hasn't replied

I wouldn't have done thus, would have just phoned