Written warning for sickness absence, just having a rant.

[BigBoysDontCry]

Nothing to be done really, just wanted to write it down to get it off my chest.

DS works for a well known supermarket. He's 24 has a very good degree but is autistic and struggles with communication so is therefore not managed to get a job related to his degree but is instead part time night shift shelf stacking. He hates it but is very diligent. He's been there about a year and a half. They know his difficulties.

In early December he broke his finger in an accident at work. Was initially signed off for 4 weeks and then a further 2 weeks as it was an awkward break, still very painful and unable to use his hand properly. He then went back on lighter duties for a few weeks and then back to his normal area which is a lot of heavy lifting. Given his difficulties, I mainly liaised with his boss (with DS permission) and attended his return to work meeting with him.

It can be hard arranging these conversations as the manager is also night shift.

Anyway there have been some issues with payroll in trying to see what he has been paid (docked the 2nd half of the shift when he broke his finger and was sent home which impressed me not) and the return of his holidays as he was booked to be off over Christmas and new year. They gave him the time off as the shifts were being covered by the staff employed as temps.

Roll forward to yesterday when I find out he had a disciplinary meeting in February over his absence as I saw the minutes. It took place at 2.30am which I suppose is fair as that's when he's at work. But he declined to have someone with him as he didn't think he could ask me since it was the middle of the night. Reading the minutes, he's been given an official written warning, not for his absence as such, but for letting down his colleagues at a busy time...🙄

He had 7 days to appeal which is long past now so nothing to be done really but I am fuming. At no point did the manager make me aware of this even though he knows about DS's difficulties and that he prefers to have me there.

Plus he was due to be on holiday anyway. Still awaiting a response from payroll 6 weeks since he emailed asking for a breakdown of his payslips.

I know he's an adult and it's up to him but for fucks sake.

Rant over.

Lots of people have given good advice here. He absolutely should not be disciplined for sickness IF this was a work related injury. He should also have had a least weeks notice and the right to representation if this was a formal meeting. The right to respond and appeal.

But I would also wonder if you have the whole story here and wonder if the lack of communication from DS is both ways and that the company aren’t getting a two way conversation here, if the same way you are struggling to get some of the information.

If the was going to stay there I’d be suggesting an occ health referral to have documentation of suggested reasonable adjustments to support his ASD and ensure communication is manageable for him.
As an employer I think having your mum advocate for you at the age of 24 is off putting and I’d be encouraging him to utilise the union or organisations such as work ways or talkworks who support people in the workplace. Asking for reasonable adjustments at interview and then the job itself, for ASD is absolutely essential and a legal right. And certainly would not put us as an organisation off in the slightest. But asking for your mum to come along gives the impression that the individual struggles with adult life and therefore potentially key aspects of the job, whereby adjustments may not be deemed ‘reasonable’.
using the union or work ways or talkworks or access to work, gives the notion of independence and ability to problem solve themselves and an awareness of where they need support.

Good luck to both of you. I can appreciate how challenging this is all round.

Can I suggest looking at public sector jobs in IT. NHS perhaps.
You will get more support for his ASD, they should all be ‘mindful employers’ and will have access to more support services, and a more supportive absence and reasonable adjustments policy. Occ health department etc

Tesco has policy for attendance review after 3 absences or an absence of 3%, it is standard policy to get a first warning and they don’t last long. When pulling cages through a door you are trained to put your hands in a certain position to prevent trapping it so the investigation into his injury would’ve had him as not following training.

And you don’t need payroll to breakdown wage slips, it’s all on the app

@ramron that sounds really plausible. Obviously none of us know what happened, but somethings not adding up.

However I would have wanted to check that they were aware of his ASD during training and if so whether they had checked if he needed any reasonable adjustments to assist in his learning.
But again as you’ve said, he’s a smart individual and able to complete a complex degree so he’d still be on sticky ground trying to argue he can’t follow basic training.

USDAW are the union - if he's not part of it, I strongly advise he join, it's not expensive & there should be instore reps. Or at least posters up letting staff know who they are.
I worked for this supermarket for almost 14 years - absence policy is strict, but it is generally tough 💩 if you're sick on hols.
Nights are tough shifts as most deliveries are between 9pm-7am, the store I worked in had over 12 18-wheeler deliveries at Xmas, usually 7-9 normally.
The union won't get involved with this case if he's not part of it yet, but going forward it's a good idea.
From what I remember, the payslips are daily clear: basic pay, then any premiums (Sundays if applicable, night/unsociable hours/location). But they are online

Sorry folks, I'd gone to bed. Thanks for the further responses, much appreciated.

I'm absolutely certain I don't have the full story from either side tbh.

DS could simply have not wanted me involved and that's absolutely fine. He does have form for not asking for help even when he wants it though and I have to rely on spotting he's unhappy and asking the right questions.

I'm not so concerned about the process itself, more that the reasoning for it was letting colleagues down over a busy period when he was due to be on holiday anyway, and the lack of clarity over what he's been paid for what and them paying him for holidays when he didn't ask them to.

I'll get him to look further at the app to see if that helps. The payslips are quite complicated in that they have different types of sick pay and various adds and deducts over the different periods.

As far as I understand it was a genuine accident. DS is not inclined to be careless or not follow rules, he's generally over compliant. He's rarely ever hurt himself, never been one of those kids who end up in minor injuries like his younger brother. He's maybe just misjudged the weight or the space or the cage wheel might have hit a bit of debris and moved awkwardly, he can't remember.

Anyway, I agree joining a union would be a good idea and I'd love him to get support from someone other than me. He is closest to his brother and speaks more to him than anyone else but he's still away at uni and it isn't his responsibility either.

Good luck @BigBoysDontCry
you sound like such a lovely mum and it’s so challenging when they are older and you can’t know everything.

I have a lot of experience in supporting this demographic into and in the workplace and the situation you describe is certainly not uncommon in young men in their early twenties and there’s always an exasperated mum trying to help ☺️

Thank you for your kind words. I'm just like most mum I think, we'd all walk over hot coals to try to help them to be happy.

He is just so full of potential that he doesn't see.

I just see him missing out on so much on life, a happy life doesn't look the same for everyone so he may never have a partner, a family if his own etc and that's all good. I'd just like him to have an independent life of which he is completely capable. He can deal with normal life but if something goes wrong it's not that he can't think of solutions, just that he is unable to work through some of the options within his comfort zone.

Not an issue if time isn't of the essence.

I won't be here forever so he needs to take up the reins of his own life but I just can't stand seeing him unhappy. And this comes from me being a pretty strict parent when he and his brother were young.

And thanks also to people who have given helpful organisations and links. It's enormously difficult to find support for autistic adults in Scotland. We are on a few mailing lists for suitable support/vacancies but there is never much up here or its restricted to people living in that council area etc.

We'll keep trying.

I'm also in the middle of separation from his dad which is taking up a bit of my energies but I do need to focus more time on getting him out of Tesco.

I'm a bit calmer about it all today but I saw him briefly when he came in this morning and he painted on a smile for me which sometimes makes it worse.

Awful. The trouble is you have people managers who really don’t have a clue. It’s also not just the ‘T’ shop. Oh, you’d be surprised….