New job - what would you do?

[ohgrowup]

Need some advice/perspective please!

Backstory: I'm mum to two toddlers who are 2 & 3. I changed job when I returned to work after mat leave to be closer to home & have more flexibility & better work/life balance.

I've been in my current role for about 1.5y - it's very flexible, predominantly remote (1 non compulsory day in the office a week - which is a 20min walk from home), £55k salary + 10% bonus. The drawback is that I hate it and it is very stressful - very demanding clients and as a result my mental health has been in the gutter for a while now (separate issue).

I was offered a 12m mat cover role on Friday at my old company (the one I quit after having kids) which I stupidly accepted on the spot out of sheer relief/excitement, but now that I've slept on it I'm having second thoughts.

The new role is a better title but salary is the same, no bonus as it's only at 12m FTC (although could be scope to extend/be made perm), it's also 3 days a week in the office which is a 1hr15m commute (on a good day).

I don't know what to do. I'm due a pay rise at my current company in April so taking the new job will essentially mean a pay cut, plus the 3 days a week in the office is worrying me - due to the lengthy commute. I did try to negotiate a better salary but was told it's the top of the salary banding and that was that.

Overall I would prefer to do the new job, but in this economic climate money is important - as is the flexibility of not being tied into going to the office 60% of the time. However the stress and impact on my mental health has been significant and I can't carry on in this role long term either.

I need some perspective. WWYD?

The commute is too much for the new job, especially with young children.

Polish up your CV and start looking for some alternatives.

If you have mental health issues with your current role then talk to your supervisor and/or doctor.

Your last sentence says it all, you cannot carry on in existing job if you feel like this, no amount of money is worth it long term. Can you negotiate the 3 days in the office with new job. In terms of salary, being a high rate tax payer, there probably won’t be a huge difference in take home pay.

I would stay in the current job and keep looking. I wouldn't take a job with a 1.5hr commute on a 12 month FTC. What if it isn't extended? A two year contract maybe but not 12 months.

I would not go to the new job - its too far and too unflexible

I wouldn't leave a perm job with better salary and payrise coming, for a 12m contract with a paycut plus commute, no.

Yes, this.

The advice to zizz up your CV and put it about is also good.
Both of these jobs have enormous drawbacks for you, so decide on neither and look for one that works better for you, in every aspect.

Deciding that your horrible (but stable) current job is finite, and you will be off as soon as poss, may help you cope with it for now.

Thank you - I think that's what I needed to hear tbh, that neither are right and to keep looking.

Would you still mention the new job offer to current company to try and expedite the pay rise? Or is that too presumptuous. Plus would there then be an expectation to have to stay?

It's not really worth using the new job as a bargaining tool as it could spectacularly backfire. They could tell you to go to new job... which obviously you won't do. They'll
see you happy to stay for 'lower' and realise what a hold they have over you.

Just stay out and look for another job.