Stay or Go

[SunshinePaddles]

I have been working for the same company for 7 years. High pressure, fast paced, customer facing role, i am paid well for my position.

I have great colleagues, and I like 90% of my client base.

On the other side of the fence, company was acquired 2 years ago, restructuring and redundancies occurred about 5 months ago and my team of 6, reduced to just me. I had to take on the roles of 2 other people including some duties from my previous manager who was also made redundant.

Since then my already high pressure, faced paced role has become unmanageable, work load doubled, I'm working more hours (lots unpaid over time - salaried). Having voiced this to my new manager I was given promises of they will help, they will hire someone to help me and to take the load off. They admitted that if I leave or take holidays they are stuffed. Lots of promises but nothing eventuated. Until the beginning of this week where they employed a person to help, no experience what so ever (the role is quite technical) and asked me to train them along with making sure I get all my work completed.

Two weeks ago I was headhunted. 2 interviews later, last one yesterday morning, by yesterday afternoon I was formally offered a new role doing what I do now, slightly more money but with a team around me, and working with a couple of previous colleagues who had moved across.

It seems like a no brainer, take the new job and run.

My issue, I feel extreme guilt and sadness. Leaving my current colleagues, leaving my customers, leaving a company that I put so many years into.

If I leave there is no one to do my role, my customers will suffer, my colleagues will suffer.

I know I don't owe the company anything, at the end of the day I am just a body and they can replace me, but the guilt is eating me.

If you were in my position would you stay or go?

How do I accept this guilt and sadness and move on?

How do I handle my employers when/if I tell them I am leaving? What about my colleagues and customers?

I don't think this is going to go down well with my current employer. I am hoping if I do leave they walk me and put me on gardening leave for my notice period (4 weeks).

Go.

You gave them the chance to support you, they chose not to.

You have been offered a job with more money for less stress, you would be silly not to take it. I understand your feelings of loyalty but they are misplaced, they would replace you in an instant if you dropped dead tomorrow. Please take this new opportunity, your current employers sound awful and they are definitely taking advantage of your good nature.

It seems like a no brainer because it is. Time to move on.

Go, go, go. They will not think twice to replace you where you are and you could be in a position 6 months from now being made redundant and the new person you trained doing your job for less money because that’s what the organisation you currently work for sounds like they might do.

enjoy the adventure of your new role, reconnect with old colleagues and make new customer relationships and well done for securing this new opportunity.

Thanks everyone.

I really want to grab onto this new opportunity and run with it.

i am mostly struggling with how to reconcile my guilt and sadness at leaving my colleagues and how I will be treated during my notice period.

I am trying to work out how to process and handle that part.

If past history with departing colleagues is to go by, management will throw more money at me, promises of reduced hours, less stress, more help (which nothing except more money will eventuate), then when still rejected they will either walk me - best option, or make me work every second of my notice period, making my work life unbearable, and potentially try to enact a non compete clause in my contract that will not stand up in court, already confirmed by employment lawyers but will delay my departure or start of new employment. They haven't been successful in enacting that clause as of yet.

I have no emotion whatsoever tied to my employers and I am all too aware that they can and probably will replace me at some point in the future with a cheaper less experienced version of me.

Definitely go. They are taking advantage of your good will and work ethic, like many companies do. That should have consequences for them as it has for you. They have had plenty of opportunities to prevent this very thing happening and have chosen not to act.
Your life will improve if you join a new place with an experienced team around you. Do it.

Remember that your colleagues also have the option of leaving, no need to feel guilty, you are not the one causing problems for them, your management team is doing that. You can keep in touch.
Once you have handed in your notice, if they don't put you on gardening leave, work to rule. No more overtime. If there is too much work ask them what the priority is, and if they don't give a response, you decide. No one can make you work long hours, train other people or do anything that is outside of your contract.

How do I accept this guilt and sadness and move on?

You TOLD them the workload was not sustainable, you gave them opportunities to remedy and yet they did nothing. For months!
Then they gave you a trainee to skill up along with your own workload. What did they think would be the natural consequence if this?

People rarely leave jobs, they usually leave managers, and this is a prime example where they've managed a situation really badly & lost a good colleague.

Be sad that they didn't listen, but don't feel guilty for prioritising your own wellbeing & making a financially savvy decision. They certainly weren't concerned for your welfare.

No need to burn bridges, be professional & pleasant & tie up loose ends & then get the fuck out of there and on to better things.

Just been through similar. Total waste of the last year working there. Go.
If it assuages any (understandable but misplaced) guilt, your valued colleagues may see your departure as the impetus to find a better opportunity in a new job themselves.
Good luck 💐

The choice was theirs to support you and make your workload more manageable and they did not bother. The risk that you could leave because of this is the one they have chosen.

Yes, I get you feel loyalty and torn as you have been there for a while but you need to look after your own interests. Be professional and leave knowing you did your best in a bad situation.

Unless you work for a hospice why would you feel guilty.
Remember the company is not your family!
It took me months of reading to ditch

1. Didn't appreciate I needed more than close to nmw and I was drowning in sleep debt having to work 40 hours part time and then being asked why I needed to work so much. I'm 33 with no deposit living in a house with hairy men doing manager level roles for admin entry level pay

Reducing my productivity to 120% from 170% probably cost them £50k in one year . Epicfail

1. Didn't take my pay requests serious.my phone number was printed on company literature fgs and I'm not pretty or well spoken. Just critical
2. Seeing the managers about to move on to 3rd company cars in my 5 years and no one seemed interested in my pay situation. How could I answer my children in 10 years about why I am such a loser

1. Got begged to take a 40% pay increase by head hunter but didn't but it set off the starting pistol

Oh you have to go.

There is a grief process though. Unfortunately you just have to go right through it. But the alternative is to be sitting in the same position in six months regretting the opportunity you let go by.

or make me work every second of my notice period, making my work life unbearable

Youre leaving so no reason to give more than the bare minimum for your notice period. It’s only unbearable if you accept the pressure from them. I’d focus on preparing things for handover and point out you’re not going to be there to do X, Y or Z so they need to find a solution during your notice period that doesn’t involve you.

Assuming your colleagues are all adults they too can decide to leave.

Please take the opportunity:)

Go.
I cannot see why you need to stay - the customers will find where you've gone.
They've abused your loyalty.