Awful Colleague

[WelshHare]

Hi MN
Would appreciate any thoughts/advice here.
I work in a sector that supports vulnerable adults. I line-manage 6 colleagues & volunteers - one of the colleagues have been an absolute nightmare for the last year, all the rest are excellent at their jobs & lovely.
The nightmare colleague is very likeable & pleasant but chaotic, manic, disorganised, thrives on drama & the narrative is always that she is the busiest, the most productive, so great at her job. She really isn't & her time-management is terrible.
I have been supporting her to make adjustments & manage her time better/be more boundaried, & I'm aware that I spend way too much time supporting her, picking up pieces of work that she hasn't done, others do too. She continues to constantly express that she's just soooo busy & uses the word 'chaos' & 'mayhem' a lot when describing her work/our team to other colleagues which has started to piss me off massively as I spend a lot of time ensuring that everything is clear, organised & planning all the time to ensure we are providing the best possible service & that everyone is supported/checking in around any shared pieces of work.
I have a meeting booked in with her next week & want to speak to her about her choice of language, her constant 'I am the busiest' & 'it's all just chaotic' BS.
We are meant to be working on a project together so will be needing to spend more time together than usual over next few months.
Has anyone had similar colleagues / situations?
Wondering about the best way to approach all this; a colleague/friend has flagged that she thinks this person has NPD.
She doesn't take criticism well & rarely expresses gratitude to colleagues when supported/helped.

I'm not really sure you can police her language just because it irritates you?

Perhaps she truly feels things are chaotic and that as a result, she's the busiest?

But if she's failing in her work to the extent that others are regularly having to pick up after her, you'll know the procedure and how to deal with that as her line manager.

Regarding your colleague/friend 'flagging' she thinks she has narcissistic personality disorder, there's nothing you can do about that even if your friend was an expert in mental health conditions.

When you say “ manic” do you mean she has a genuine mental health diagnosis of bi polar?

This behaviour needs to be performance managed. You said that you are supporting this colleague a lot. Have you documented this? Does your organisation have a PM policy? If so then that’s what should be followed. Have you got a line manager? They should assist you to implement the performance expectations and support you will offer to help the colleague meet them.
It’s tough but necessary. They may not be aware of the impact they are having- so you should approach kindly but firmly.

Good luck - in my experience in a public sector type role this type of issue is rarely addressed. And it’s a massive drain on other staff who will eventually leave.

Keep it factual and to what you are supporting. Explain clearly how supporting her to do her job affects others in the team and give her a verbal warning and a pip to help her improve. The pip could be something as simple as an objective to ask her to email you an update everyday of what she has completed and what’s pending. Or it could be more complex and you could force her to submit all work to you by 1pm for your approval and she isn’t allowed to go to meetings unrelated to the work she needs to do.

I’d also be monitoring her breaks and make her show her statuses accurately on Teams.

I think I'd gently try and unpick with her what she means by "chaotic" etc - is she confused about her tasks/ the way she is required to do something? Is she feeling like she's getting conflicting messages about priorities etc? Is it just she means a heavy workload - if so can you both come up with a plan to work through methodically? Are there specific gaps that she is worried risk something unanticipated? Etc. Do this in the spirit of wanting to understand and support.

I've managed people with this kind of behaviour.

Ask her to account for her time every day for a week - have a short 1-1 every day at the end of the day to ask what's been overloading her. Do it as a help/support tool - you're very concerned that she feels so chaotic/mayhem and you want to help rebalance her workload. I suspect either she will heavily resist (because she's not actually that busy) or you'll see for yourself she isn't actually busy.

Don't get caught up in the armchair diagnosis game though.

Thanks all I really appreciate your thoughts/advice
Yes I think gently unpicking the 'chaos' is needed.
There's been times when we've had regular 1:1s but she was too busy (sometimes) to attend. And they stopped eventually due to other commitments.

@youveturnedupwelldone thank you. Will do this for sure. That's so helpful

All staff should have regular 1:1s at the very least, twice a year.

I'm not really sure you can police her language just because it irritates you?

It reflects badly on the reputation of the team as a whole if team member is using words such as 'chaos' and 'mayhem' when talking to other colleagues. Especially unfair if the other team members are working efficiently.

@Boobettes we have bi-monthly 1:1s always but the more regular ones (weekly) stopped due to her being 'so busy' as well as other reasons. Sorry, I wasn't clear there

@Abouttimeforanamechange yes that's how I'm feeling - nobody else in the team ever does that, I am absolutely going to address that next week when we meet. It's so annoying

Being calm and direct. Stuff like: You describe our team/workload as ‘chaotic’ a lot. I would like to work out with why you are feeling that way. It’s not my experience or the others in the team.
I’ve looked at workload and it’s well balanced with others, so you should not be the busiest and we need to find out why this is.
So this week I would like you to make a work diary and send in to me every day.
I am going to meet with you at 9am each day for 15 mins and we will plan your tasks.
I need to find out why you are busier and if there are things you or I could be doing to make sure that isn’t the case.

I know it seems silly but does she need training on efficient ways to use software like Outlook? Can she file things in email? Is she wasting time because her files aren’t systematically named and ordered in Sharepoint etc.

Make sure you have those weekly 1-2-1. Suggest Mondays to set the weekly targets and tasks with a check in each morning. If you use Teams, sit with her while she puts time for key tasks in her calendar etc.

This way you are fully supporting and will have evidence that she can’t manage the workload and can flag up her performance with HR. Are your HR team good? Could you ask them for advice ?

Thanks @Catoo
Appreciate your post.
Annoyingly the HR team here are not good at all, I've had little support from them/my manager when I indicated that I felt a performance plan might be required for this person. It's all a bit dire.
But yeah, digging a bit deeper with the 'chaos' thing is needed for sure

I’ve coached a colleague out of this mindset before now - I think some people equate busyness with status. So she thinks saying it’s all so busy and chaotic demonstrates how in-demand she/the team are, rather than understanding that appearing this way could actually hold her back.

Really fixed the problem and you can frame as development rather than criticism if necessary.