How to deal with new boss?

[Corporatepreggolady]

Hello all,

I've been at my new job for four months, and I love the company and work - but am struggling with the working style of my new boss.

With previous managers, they've had a policy that's like: ''come to me with problems, otherwise, we trust you get on with your projects and report back periodically."

This new manager is very different. Likes to be cc-d into everything and to go through my projects with me weekly... But is really too busy to reply to emails or properly stay on top of these projects, IYSWIM.

Attitudinally, there's a real defensiveness that I'm struggling with. Some recent examples:

• earlier this week I flagged that I would have capacity for more projects on Thursday. She said 'good, because we really need you working on more projects'... it's like, okay, give me those projects then? 🤔

• I had a meeting with my boss' boss (just as a hello/intro) and when he asked if we could make any improvements, I mentioned a process that we could enhance. He sounded positive but we didn't agree that I would work on it or anything, it was just a passing comment. My boss then wants a blow-by-blow of this conversation and seems annoyed that I may have signed our team/myself up for another project when we're 'so busy'. (Sidenote: the process enhancement would be a good development opportunity if I did work on it, but I'm happy not to if I'm needed elsewhere! I really don't mind!)

• I have to go through her to make even small decisions, Eg, 'are you okay with this meeting agenda?' But have to chase for a response on this stuff and it slows everything down.

I think I need to show that I'm here to help and take tasks off her plate, not add to it. But I'm not sure the best way to do that.

Sounds like my old manager........ good luck to you OP. It's the way they are unfortunately micro management mentality. Luckily for me, mine left due to their issues with HR when COVID was ending - bliss. I moved over a to a guy boss who leaves me alone but now he is leaving, and have the fear this is going to happen again. I am preparing for this by learning what i can and being prepared to leave if i need to.

Remember there are other job opportunities out there, if you can't breath or grow where you are anymore, then look at other options.

Urgh. I can't believe so many managers are like this!

Yeah... unfortunately they just interview well, or an easy fit to hire into the role internally already. As long as they get the work done upper management generally don't care.

some of whether these are reasonable or not depends on your level of seniority and the impact of some of these and what your job is.

When you are new your boss doesn't know you well enough yet to know whether if left you get on with a project you will be fine or cause irretrievable mayhem. I have team members that I know will come to me with problems so I just keep an overview and let them get on with it and others I keep very close tabs on because previous experience has shown that if I don't my department may find themselves signed up to anything or a project completely pear shaped. At four months I can't be sure which someone is.

Oh yeah this sounds familiar.
In my case I do a lot of eye rolling at emails and after calls.
Have learnt to take an hour if I read an email and it gets my heckles up before replying to avoid being snarky. And helps to remember it's not a direct insinuation that my work is being questioned, just an insecurity on their part.
Still a PITA though

PITA is right! Eye rolling and taking an hour are good ideas.

And I agree with PP that some of these things are reasonable because of newness - I don't mind running through a task list every week to do a quick status on my projects, for example.

I guess the problem is the big negative reactions as much the micromanaging. With that process improvement example, she was very negative and shirty with me in front of other members of the team. For me, that's unprofessional and rude.

I feel like I want to say to her 'look, I'm on your side and here to make your life easier. And as for working styles, I work best in a positive environment where people don't flip out at me'

at the end of the day, I took this job because it seemed steady and predictable. I have a one year old; I just want to do good work, go home on time and not stress that anyone's annoyed with me.

Do you have supervisions in your probation period? With two way conversations? Can you ask to swap to weekly check ins so that you can work faster to enable more capacity. You can see there’s a lot of time related pressures and want to be able to support the team.

This may just be a new job thing combined with her heightened stress levels, although I too would have alarm bells ringing. Keep in the back of your mind that you may need to look for other work or look for internal moves.

I'm another one who has had this. Use your 1:1 review meetings to bring it up. I found that I needed to wait for the opportunity, but was eventually asked if there was anything manager could do to make improvements, at which point I said fucking off and letting me do my job asked whether there was a reason for the high level of oversight. This actually opened up a whole dialogue that was beneficial for both of us. Considering I was C level at the time, I was not expecting that kind of intrusiveness.