Should I stay or should I go?

[ByCalmDenimViper]

Hi Mumsnetters...first time poster here...hoping you can help me with a bit of advice. I'm still on probation at this place as a Receptionist. The problem is my co-receptionist (she is also a rung-up on me - has been there longer - gave her self a 'dry promotion' but still on same salary) is a nightmare.

She is nice enough but is a total drama queen where everything gets dialled up a notch. EVERYTHING becomes a massive drama no matter what. She constantly craps on about how busy she is ALL the time. I always tell her I'm here to help no matter what. I have to be very careful as she likes to control everything, I have to keep her updated on everything and I cannot even do simple stationery or grocery orders by myself - she has to sit next to me and make sure I order the correct stuff even though it's kind of the same from last week. Everything from how she keeps her desk, the drawers, the cupboards (I tidy, she just messes everything up again - I find it VERY difficult to find stuff - it's so disorganised - I tidy it up - she just messes it up again - it's just a waste of time) is just a sh*tshow. No matter what the event, I constantly have to ask, 'What is it I can do?' and then tell me nothing...but I get in the next morning, and it turns out she has done all these things I could have done and then drones on about how busy she is. It's never ending. It feels very draining and quite manipulative and very victim-y.

The question is...they are moving offices, and I'm absolutely dreading it. We are moving in about 8 weeks (we have to be out of current offices by the end of May) and nothing is really getting done from our end. I know she won't cope with the actual moving and will have something close to a breakdown. She had one last Christmas. It was ridiculous. Just so unnecessary. I'm really hating my job because of her. It could be so much more...but any suggestions seem to fall on deaf ears or seems to come up with excuses...i.e. I don't have time to train you etc...very frustrating. I barely talk to our mutual boss, and if I did it would go back to her and she will get sooky with me (grumpy) and will see it as a betrayal. She is also paranoid and bitches about almost everyone. It's just so unpleasant.

So...should I go? I just don't want to piss them off or leave others in the lurch with the move. The other alternative is leave at the beginning of next year after my trip overseas and then leave. A definite exit plan.

I would look for another job. while there are probably a few tactics you can try to improve things, your co-receptionist is unlikely to have a total personality transplant and she sounds really hard work.

There is no need for you to feel bad about “leaving them in the lurch”. Not least as they in theory have co-receptionist.

specific tactics:
Rather than ask “is there anything I can do” or “how can I help” make specific suggestions. If she is this disorganised she may find planning tasks difficult, so can barely figure out what she needs to do let alone plan what she could ask you to. Bonus here is that should she complain you don’t help you can point to specific things you volunteered to do. It also shows your planning and initiative skills. For example with the office move could you offer to come up with a draft plan for what needs doing?

You could also make some of these suggestions directly to your co-boss. This isn’t complaining about her, but does mean she can’t just dismiss it. Also he will then know that you offered.

I’d also recommend developing a bit of detachment in case of her paranoia and bitching. “Grey rock” any bitchy comments and don’t engage with them.

good luck finding a fab new job!

Many thanks for your suggestions - I will suggest the draft plan for moving - I will think of a list - at least I can feel a bit of control over the situation for the time being.