Resignation Anxiety

[Moonlight287]

Hi all!

I thought it would come on here to get a bit of advice or support 🤣

I've worked at the same company for 10 years and the last few months have been terrible, overworked and underpaid to the point that I took some time off as I became very unwell with stress.

I've gone back but made a promise to myself that I would look elsewhere because it has not got better.

I'm pleased to say I've been offered a new job elsewhere which has really boosted my confidence and mood, however, I'm now having anxiety about having to resign.

The thought of having the uncomfortable conversation is making me feel so worried! I know I have to do it and want to out of respect but it doesn't mean it is easy!

Anyone got advice?!

TIA x

Don't forget all the reasons that lead you to leave and the terrible effect on your health
For me-
Doing 3 people's jobs and managing people for the same data entry admin wage of 5 years ago which was low at the time
Having 60% of revenue under me and 40 under 8 people
No money to rent a house. I live shared where my food is stolen, thrown out by aggressive housemates and having hair all over shower and toilet to put up with
Panic attacks and no support from management till I kicked off in office
Being asked why I needed so much money and doing 2 pt jobs despite being 33, unstable housing and lowest paid in office
No serious discussion on pay
New starters make same as me with no experience
Other people get quick large payrises and I don't get anything
Managers about to move onto 3rd company cars in 5 years and me still with no payrise or promotion and driving £600 car

You've come to this point for a reason

It's normal to give notice in writing - either a letter or email. You don't have to explain why you've chosen to leave. The minimum you need to say is that you're giving notice of resigning and your last working day will be xxxx, in line with whatever notice period you need to give.

They'll probably then follow up with a discussion about your annual leave balance.

If anyone asks you directly why you're leaving, just say you have a new job.

Congratulations on your new job.

It's normal to feel some anxiety about resigning, you've been there a long while. Be strong, this is a new start for you and it's not about them.

@zzpleb has your plan nailed.

With you. I hate it too, getting a new job is the easy part.

I've even tried to be nice about it saying if I've done nothing worthwhile with my career to date then I have the honour of being able to give the present job back to its original role holder. I really do not want to stick around to cover someone part time I've done my bit in covering long enough.

Just remind yourself that there are very few people in this world who have only ever had one job.

Nearly everyone has left one job for another at some point, it's completely normal.

Either tell the truth, that it's too stressful, or just tell them you fancied a change.

It doesn't have to be a big deal unless you make it one

I’m in a similar position in that I really want to move jobs…. Just had an interview this morning and have fingers crossed. Unlike you though, I am dreaming about telling current boss I’m resigning… I can’t wait. But not yet got an offer…. Don’t worry about it / you are in control. And congratulations!

Yay, they just told me they are releasing me end of the month. Don't have to write the letter finally for once I'm made up 🙂

Write a letter. Say something like “thanks for the opportunity to work here, I have learned a lot, the time has come for me to grow in my career so I have accepted another position, I am happy to work my notice and look forward to arranging the details of my final time here, thanks again”.

If you feel you owe your line manager an in-person conversation because they are a good person or whatever (sometimes there are good people even in crappy companies), then just go in to see them and hand over the letter saying “I thought it would be better to give this to your personally”.

They’ll get where the conversation is headed from that and treading the letter will give them a minute to compose themselves.

If they say “what’s this?” reply “it’s all in the letter” and go quiet so they know they need to read it.

If you think doing that would get a bad reaction then letter on desk or email it is, because it’s them that doesn’t know how to behave like a decent human being in a perfectly normal situation.

If that person has been decent, say something like “It’s been good to work with you in particular and I’m sorry that it’s time to go but I need to grow in a new setting”. A bit of a personal compliment usually diffuses awkwardness. If you can’t in all honesty say something like that to them, again, it’s letter on desk or email, and that’s on them.

I’d also say something like “I’ll give you some time to digest this, and we can talk about leaving date and deliverables later when you’ve had a chance to think about it”. This means the practical stuff can be handled aside from the awkwardness of the news. Again, if this is something you think would go badly, you work out those details over email or in writing.

Thank you everyone for your responses! They have all been super helpful and supportive ☺️

I asked to arrange an in person meeting but instead my boss called me. I explained over the phone and they were upset but understanding and said I was welcome back anytime.

I'm going to do the official stuff shortly but the biggest hurdle is over.

It's been an emotional rollercoaster week!!

Xx

Congratulations! I hate resigning too - I feel like I've been cheating and am leaving for another relationship, which is ridiculous really.

You've done the hard part now though and can look forward to your new future!

Start living your life as if you have started your new job, count down the last time you have to do each task. It's not the people you're leaving's fault (even if it is), you have a new opportunity.

Leave your letter after your boss has gone, letter on desk. Schedule an email to coincide with this, include, when you do, explaining new opportunity, thank for experience at current role etc etc quote last day (according to your contract), and ask for exit meeting to be arranged.

It's purely business, (even if it's not), thanks for everything, bye.