Obviously I got being a boss wrong.....again

[snapD]

A very valued member of staff gave me notice just over a week ago.

For family reasons she is moving & wants a job closer to home (her new home) so she found one & is starting there at the end of her notice period. BTW her own house isn't even on the market yet.

I was devastated and have been a bit quiet all week - not stroppy, not argumentative, not even passive agressive, but quiet (silently panicking about coping without her). I have also been poorly (ear infection, cystitus & run down) - Plus having lots of other stuff to deal with (family member dying, new site opening etc).

So I was asked today for a 'talk' tomorrow - so what do I say - I have already apologised for thinking about myself and how the business will manage rather than about how bad she feels about leaving. So what else can I do?

Actually I have rationalised it

I expected her to treat me like a friend - then she treated me like an employer & I got upset

She expected me to treat her like a friend - then I treated her like an employee & she got upset

I don't think either of us is going to be content with the outcome tbh

I wonder, maybe what you say in that last post is something you should say to her. Also, I'm not suggesting you should beg her to stay now, but you're telling us how valued she is, have you let her know that since she resigned (or before)? So she's leaving, but it would surely be better for her to go on a good note. Do you think you'll stay in touch once she's moved to the new job?

She should have known, it is discussed regularly how much we appreciate her. It is important to me that staff know they are appreciated & I try to make them aware of it.

We did talk this morning & she didn't really understand what I was saying. & now apparently I am too upset - I can't win

I'd just leave it SnapD....

Just wish her well, get her a nice card and some flowers etc, when she leaves and leave it at that..........

At the end of the day, your relationship with her IS one of employer / employee and you both have to deal with that.

However good she is at her job, however much you'd like her to know she'll be missed, the bottom line is YOU WILL find someone else and life will go on, she will settle in her new job and hopefully you'll all stay in touch now and again.........