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Mum guilt and potentially reducing hours

1 reply

HettyMeg · 04/03/2024 12:29

I currently work four days a week in quite a demanding role and I am essentially seen as a full-timer. I went to four days after mat leave. I haven't been quite content since going back over a year ago. I feel stuck in my career but I'm also struggling with feelings of guilt at my little girl being in nursery four days a week. We don't have any family nearby.

While she mostly loves nursery, I feel guilty about her being away from both of us for most of the week and the amount of mental energy my work takes from me (although I mostly work from home, I manage a service line and travel for work every couple of months).

My little girl is getting older and understands that she is away from us. I don't want to be a full time stay at home mum but I think my balance is too tipped in favour of work.

We are weighing up trying for another baby but I cannot imagine having two children and us both working mostly full-time with zero family support.

Other issue: cost of living! If I leave my job I am not only walking away from a career I've spent years building, but also a salary that is not massive but is comfortable and means we can pay our bills without too much worry (I am the main earner).

If I stay, I am due for a promotion so my husband thinks I should wait things out for now. If I were to take a more part time role elsewhere I would be going in at the bottom and looking at a big reduction in pay. I'm thinking now a better option would be to request a further reduction of hours in my current role and take a pay hit.

Would love to hear from anyone who has experienced the same feelings. I feel quite trapped and still trying to carve out an identity for myself as someone who really used to love her job but now feels a bit lost.

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/03/2024 12:33

If you’re the main earner could you husband be at home more? My husband works part time (self employed) whilst I work full time and it’s really helpful to know our children have him after school etc.
The other option, what about compressed hours so working 5 days but you’re free from way 3pm every day,

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