I am currently finding work very hard. I have been with the same company for nearly 10 years. I was offered a new role on a trial basis in a different department. This went well and I was offered a permanent position which I accepted.
However since that point things have deteriorated. I thought it was just a blip but now I feel I made a huge mistake accepting the permanent position but it is too late to go back to my old department which I miss. I find the work challenging which is good typically, but it all got on top of me after I had something personal happen to me in August as I was in a spiral of grief, anxiety and generally feeling very low and struggling to focus on anything in or out of work when I returned after being signed off. When I first told work about my personal situation they were very supportive and said if I needed to take time or do less for time being then that was acceptable (verbal only). I had no engagement to HR or anything like that, but was getting counselling outside of work.
Unfortunately things didn’t get better for me and in hindsight I should have maybe been signed off longer due to struggling with my mental health. 2 months later I was approached about my performance. I tried to work harder and put in extra hours and although there was improvement, it was not enough to not affect my overall appraisal for the year.
I’m now pregnant again, but now feel huge regret about taking the role on a permanent basis. I can’t change jobs outside the organisation without it affecting my maternity entitlement, so I feel trapped. Does anyone have any advice about if they’ve been through something similar please? My team are approachable and friendly but I’m so scared to say anything in case it negatively impacts me further somehow.