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Been ghosted by current work colleague

9 replies

LaraS2511 · 26/02/2024 03:31

Hi, I started a new job last year, approx 5 of us all started at the same time, all females. I got to know all of them, made the effort etc, one particular lady I got to know, some of the other’s found her a little rude but she lives closest to me & we were travelling quite a lot due to training, we had a lot in common & got on well. We don’t see each other regularly for work as the role is wfh & out on your own but we have met up for lunch, had dinner out at Christmas & chatted on Teams. I last saw her in January, all fine, I gave her a lift to the train station after we had been to a conference. Fast forward to Feb, I send her a message on Teams & ask how she is, how the work is going & nothing, no response what so ever, she read the message & ignores me. Never heard from her since, I can’t think of anything I have done to upset her or said anything. I’m sad & it’s really affecting me, in addition in March we have further training which we will both be at. What should I do? Attempt to contact her again? We have each others numbers.

OP posts:
IsThisOneAvailable · 26/02/2024 03:37

Have you only reached out once?

I often read a message on Teams and whilst I'm doing something and forget to reply.

Just message again following up and checking in 🤷‍♂️

Lurkingandlearning · 26/02/2024 04:46

As PP said, send one more message as she may have forgotten to reply.

If you don’t hear from her try not to let it affect you and definitely don’t let it be a cloud over your upcoming training. Easier said than done I know but whatever her reason for not replying there is nothing you can do about it and it is most unlikely to be because of something you’ve done as your last contact was fine.

Maybe she’s been ill or similar, is it possible she’s been fired?

shearwater2 · 26/02/2024 05:04

I would conclude that she is busy or things aren't going too well and would just leave it and catch up if you get a chance when you see her in person.

ThemysteriousH · 26/02/2024 05:06

Is there any possibility she could’ve left the role?
Im another who reads and forgets to reply!
Also an overthinker too so I empathise.

Guttedme · 26/02/2024 08:33

Could have left or been dismissed as others have said, try their mobile.

RausageSoul · 26/02/2024 08:37

If anyone relied on me via Teams we'd be in trouble! I'm so bad for leaving people on read and then our company policy deletes them after a few days!

twingiraffes · 26/02/2024 09:06

She might be one of those people who are simply not interested in becoming friends with anyone they work with. I used to have a colleague like that.

The cynic in me thinks that the chances are she will be back in contact again if she ever needs you to give her a lift somewhere again.

Tanfastic · 26/02/2024 13:22

Sometimes when I'm really busy I don't reply to personal messages on teams, only reply if it's work related as I don't want to be drawn into a convo when I know I haven't got the time. I wouldn't overthink it.

FallingStar21 · 26/02/2024 13:43

Whether she's been busy, forgot to reply etc is a red herring, I think. If she cared about the friendship she'd have got in touch at some point anyway. I would leave it OP and try not to dwell - if you've done nothing to upset her, then it's probably a case of she's either flaky or (for whatever reason) isn't invested in this friendship.

FWIW,
I've had similar with a work colleague who I met a few times outside work (as friends). All good, we have stuff in common, she seemed happy etc. Later on she did similar to your friend and I did feel hurt. However, I've left it alone because dwelling is pointless and poisonous, perhaps she just "wasn't that into me" 😂

Please don't let negative experiences with people define your self-worth. You are loveable and will be appreciated by the right people in your life. I send you my hugs xx

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