Feeling unsupported at work and it's affecting mental health

[Scorcher791]

Hi Mumsnetters,

I changed jobs last year and feel it's been a terrible mistake. I was a teacher for the last 17 years though struggled with that at times due to my mental health and the demands of the job, also felt that I didn't really 'fit in' and that it wasn't fulfilling like it seems to be for some people. Always felt that I would be better suited to something else and that there was something else out there for me! Anyway, long story short, I resigned from my last position where I had been 2 years and got another job in university administration which TBH has not been going great. I'm now working in a 'prestigious' university that prides itself on diversity, inclusion, a 'supportive' environment but that value seems only to apply to the students and not the staff. My manager placed me on a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan for those not in the know) 4 months into the role stating that I wasn't picking up the admin skills quickly enough and they needed me at a place where I didn't need to take up others time with asking questions and could "work independently" and "run the programme". Since that I have been bending over backwards and doing my best but it's been taking a toll on my mental health to the extent that I was signed off sick from work for 2 weeks. I'm back a week now and had an informal chat with my Line manager yesterday where he informed me when I asked for feedback that "others" had reported that I wasn't "retaining" information. In terms of the 'others' he referred to, he didn't clarify who this was but he did state that he relied heavily on the Programme manager for input as to how I was getting on and she has also been assigned as my 'buddy'. At no point has he given me any positive feedback and I came out of the meeting feeling completely dejected, deflated and demoralised. The person I've been asking questions most of, my so-called 'buddy' seems to have been reporting to him and telling him that I'm not 'retaining' information and I feel that the expectation is that I'm told something once and must remember it. It's now at the point where I'm afraid to ask my buddy a question in case she brings it up with my line manager as more 'evidence' that I've not 'retained' something or am unsure of a process. I'm finding the environment anything but supportive despite all the lip service and am extremely anxious as a result. I feel like that they're on a mission to fire me and my only option is to resign and try to find something else.... Please help! What would you do in this scenario?

@Scorcher791 it's NOT you. It's them.

Putting a new employee on a PIP 4 months into a new role is unacceptable. You are allowed a training phase. You should be supported during that phase so that after 6 months, you can walk on your own.

They haven't done this. They've made you fear for your job security, placed additional expectations on you and then watched you flounder instead of stepping in to support you.

The culture is toxic.

Try to find yourself a new role elsewhere. It doesn't have to be like this and you'll end up a nervous, anxious wreck.

Sorry, but could you outline this "training phase" in terms of what it is, how it relates to the OPs role in the programme she works on, and how long it ought to be. References to any relevant law would be useful.

OP, I'm sorry that you are struggling with your new role, but the extent to which you should be picking up the role is exactly what the employer should be dealing with at this stage. Given that you are still on probation ( not that that has much relevance as terminating got job in the first two years is easy enough) I would generally consider it a positive sign that the manager is using a PIP - if they had no expectation that it might make a difference and help you progress, then they just need to sack you and not go to all the bother of a PIP. Equally, I would expect the manager to check on progress with your mentor / buddy, and to all about areas that you continue to struggle with.

What your manager needs to be doing is identifying for you the areas in which you need to improve, what standards are expected, and how they will work with you to meet those standards. On the face of what you have said they are doing that and are putting support in place to help you achieve that. The problem seems to be more that you aren't managing to do that. It would seem reasonable to expect a fairly good level of independent working from you at 4 months in unless this was advertised as a training role.

Is there possibly an explanation why you aren't remembering things? Stage of life or mental health issues can influence memory, for example, and you do refer to struggling in your teaching capacity; and if you were teaching for 17 years, could menopause symptoms be influencing your performance. These are all legitimate possibilities, and many employers can look at flexibility or adjustments if there is a way of managing such things better.

Equally, being balanced about this, if I employ an admin worker to do a specific role, I expect them to come with the skills required, and by 4-6 months I would not expect them to need very much hand holding in relation to the knowledge required.

I very much doubt that they think you are a waste of their effort - they simply wouldn't have bothered with the PIP if they did. That is a positive, not a negative. Could you perhaps talk to the manager or your buddy about how your are feeling, and ask them for some feedback on what is going better? Or just tell them how you are feeling? You have nothing to lose by having that conversation.