Called in sick again today - have had enough.

[mollymaebae]

I am so angry. Last week a senior manager told me off for something extremely trivial and proceeded to come close and nudge me and then I stumbled. This is not the first time he has done this to me and when he does it, it hurts my arm quite badly. He would like to think he is joking around but I know he is not. I am not going to raise a grievance, as this wouldn't change anything and I don't have the strength. I know what I have to do though and that is leave.

I have now mentally checked out. I don't each lunch or morning tea with colleagues anymore. I hardly speak to anyone unless it's hello or goodbye, I'm tired of having to be on guard with colleagues, being rude or indifferent and being bossy towards me, even though we are all on the same pay and level. I constantly feel like I have to stick up for myself and asking them to stop speaking to me like trash.

I also ask myself why should I be so stoic, to the point where you are unable to feel anything more at work. It's really not fair and don't want to be in this situation any longer. I don't want to be like everyone else there.

I've stuck it out this long hoping it would get better and have started applying for other jobs. It's such a slow process between applying and getting interviews.

And I don't give a fuck about the sick leave, I'll take as much as I need to!

If someone at work is physically hurting you then you absolutely need to report it. Do you have an HR department? Will you have to have a return to work interview after being off sick?

Good luck with the job hunting! You'll be handing in your notice today then?

Not if you haven’t got a new job to go to OP! Don’t be out of pocket due to these horrible people. You’re right to take as much sick leave as you need.

We do, it's a large one. There is no point reporting him, I don't have the mental strength to deal with it and he's already been reported so many times and nothing gets done.

Definitely not leaving without a job to go to! It seems tough out there on the job market at the moment, so it could take longer than expected.

Why would she do that without a new job to go to? Genuine question!
Most people have bills that need paying, not everyone can just leave a job because they’re unhappy, I suspect if they could a lot of people just wouldn’t work…

Definitely get out when you can OP. Sounds awful. Good luck with the job hunt.

Because sick leave isn’t for people who hate their jobs so decide they won’t go in anymore.

OP, why on earth are you not reporting to HR? Even if nothing happens, there will be a stain against his name and chances are he’s done this before.

I can appreciate why you don't want to report him, but if you do so factually, with date time and context of the assault, it adds further weight to the other reports made, than if you say nothing. It's abuse of power, by a man to a woman, he wouldn't do it to another man. It may give HR the inclination that you are building a discrimination claim which may force them to have to take action.

mention that you know he has been reported and nothing is being done. This in itself is a breach of law under Health and Safety at work (1974) as your employer has a duty to protect you from harm in the workplace which a physical assault most certainly is.

Report him, state all the facts in writing including names of others who were there. If HR don't act, see an employment lawyer and get a letter sent outlining the case for them to pay you to leave. If you have details of other incidences where he was reported an no action taken, cite those as well.

In the meantime, go off sick - it sounds to me like you are genuinely struggling to cope. As would I be in the situation where I thought I'd be assaulted/hurt by my boss if I went in to work.

It's a horrible situation and you deserve much better treatment.

Sending unmunsnetty hugs and solidarity.

I feel really angry on your behalf, he got in your face and nudged you hard enough to put you off balance. What a cunt.

You now look after yourself and only yourself. Go sick as much as you need. Look for another job. Do everything you can to look after yourself in the meantime as you get through. Whatever it takes.

Report if you feel strong enough to, but I do recognise the nothing getting done about it part too. There is what should happen and what actually happens. Only do what is right for you here on in.

Sick leave is for people who are stressed as a result of bullying though. When someone is isolating themselves from colleagues and "mentally checked out" those are signs of work related stress.

That said, OP I agree with others. Put in a grievance. You can't dodge taking some responsibility for highlighting this behaviour, even if it gets nowhere. Given that you've decided to leave, you have nothing at all to lose.

I have thought of doing it once I've resigned.

You are absolutely 100% not wrong in everything you are saying. He does do it to men to, in the sense that he will just completely ignore another male colleague for months on end. He is also known to make your life absolute hell, if you put in a complaint. So either way it's not going to go well.

He is the biggest cunt I have ever met. It's dumbfounding how such a cunt can be in charge of providing a health service and caring for people.

Don't bother. The complaints of a (soon to be) ex- employee will be put down to sour grapes. If you are going to do it you need to do it now. Otherwise there no point.

Thanks for understanding. I am super stressed, feel sick and not sleeping. I don't want to speak to colleagues or anyone, so I would say that pretty much counts as sick leave, not just taking sick leave because I hate my job!

I had something similar happen and I worked in local government, she was an absolute cow.

She’d been reported several times by previous staff members who subsequently left. She reduced people to tears, even her so called friend. Nothing was ever done, people left and she kept her job. I was targeted, I went on sick leave, but eventually left. I didn’t have a job to go to, but my husband supported me and was concerned for my mental health, it’s bullying and somehow they get away with it.

Thank you for your kind words. My younger self would have done exactly what you're saying. I have documented everything though, so maybe could submit it when I leave.

Sorry to hear about your situation, I'm glad you got out in the end. Yep same old story, I suspect Nepotism is at play in my situation as well.

I know, you're right.

I don't suppose when you call in sick you can explain that you are still in pain following an incident at work?

H&S rather than HR

You may not want to report the physical intimidation and I understand that.

I found a temporary way to deal with the same thing as it was happening, in an open plan office with dividers, to say very loudly 'Take your hands off me now. You are hurting me.'

The man concerned dropped his hands like he'd been burnt and everyone within 30m was busy questioning what had just happened. It was enough to keep him away from me until I left.

Sorry you're going through this. It's rotten.

Oh wow I'm sorry this happened to you, I'm glad I'm not the only one! I think that is my next tactic when I go back to work and to never be alone with him ever.

That is a very good idea!