how to stop caring about "promotions"

[workoholic]

Pre working where I do I never really cared about promotions, but I work in a global bank and people are always talking about it and its so competitive but subject of lots of day to day conversations, it comes out like word vomit is swear.
I have decided I want to start focusing on other areas of my life as I dont want the responsibility of going upwards anymore, and fed up of people having these conversations near me as it feels like I am not grateful for what I have, as always feels like I should be progressing to more.
Has anyone had any experience of similar environments and how to avoid these toxic cultures? and how to reframe your mind when those conversations are around you?

Yep, when everyone else was going for the higher level jobs, I went for one that took me down the greasy corporate pole, in a totally different team.

I was looked on as mad. There is more to life than a fancy job title.

I enjoy learning etc, but I dont enjoy all the stuff needed to go up another level so I can't be bothered with it. Eventually it might come naturally to me, but I dont want to fight for it anymore - I feel kind of "done". I either need a kick up the ass, or just not to care. Mentally I feel in some kind of limbo.

Well, are you happy where you are OP?

I really enjoy my job, and the next promotion for me would be to doing a totally different job 😄. So, I don't want to do that. But somehow a small part of me thinks I should always be aiming for the next thing, so I do feel a bit uncertain sometimes.

I'm currently looking to drop down a grade and they stay there. I've realised I want to prioritise other things (including my health) and am at peace with that. I dont think chat about promotions will bother me going forward but we"ll see ...

I am OK, if I go up a ranking it would be the same job, but I guess it would mean more hours and more presentations and more meetings, at the moment I am more of a "do-er" and can use my grade to still have a work life balance. More expected if I go up another ranking.
Money wise I wouldn't say I "need it" and because of tax man the extra responsibility isn't worth it, if that makes sense.
However, I also have it in me to think I deserve more for the amount of hours I have put in over the years, and am I settling etc.
Honestly, its a tough one. I am trying to find a way to be comfortable with my decision to be happy where I am.

Also - more snakes as you go upwards, and I cba with those politics.

Yes. This is another part of the reason I want to change. I've got to a senior level and realised (with a few notable exceptions) that most people at that level are pretty awful and got there by trampling on people on the way up.

Snakes are so tiring in corporate. It's not even worth it really.

@workoholic I spent years climbing the corporate ladder, but as I got near the top, I found it was leaning against the wrong wall.

So what did you change/do instead?

Great to chat about this, as I sometimes feel alone in these thoughts.

I also work in a global bank, and I hate the culture around promotions. There are people taking about 'getting their D', meaning being promoted to Director. Eh...it's not 'yours', there such a sense of entitlement. Drives me mad.

Same... we prob work for the same bank lol

Yes, I miss the highly skilled but lovely people a level or two down. Just honestly, all the lying and duplicity. I couldn't live my life like that.

Yeah its crazy, ive even got snakes coming for me though at the lowest ranking, due to toxic management putting ideas in their heads teaching them how to "play corporate".
I need to figure out how to turn off from his mentally so I can focus on other things.

Is this the kind of culture where you'll be managed out if you don't move up their ladder though? Usually the toxic competition you're describing goes hand in hand with "up or out" cultures.

Packed it all in and did something else. I do a bit of consulting here and there, but I don't intend to go back to corporate life unless someone makes me an offer my wife can't refuse.

Kind of I guess - they do kick people out start of every year who aren't doing above and beyond. The redundancy package wouldn't be the worst though, so I wouldn't be upset haha

Haha!

20+ years in banking and I stayed at VP level. Going for D appeared to mean sucking a LOT of cock for not much actual increase in monthly pay plus all the extra crap you have to do.

what I did - look like I wanted to do it but really just put in my 37 hours a week and have a nice life. In banking the money is £££ if you live a reasonable life without skiing, Barbados, private schools.

Plus you could put in all the extra work then your division is sold, or a new boss comes in and changes everything or there is a global recession. Easier to take it all with a pinch of salt and chose a smaller house.

I hear you. I've been putting myself through this hell for about 7 years now, I keep going for the grade above me and I keep just missing it. the stupid thing is, it's only a bit more money! i really do question why i'm torturing myself. My friend who was at school with me said, you're psychologically back in the bottom stream, trying to prove yourself. She's right. I don't need to. I'm not clever but I'm wiser than this surely. I need to prioritise hobbies now. If I did go up a grade,, I'd feel good for about six weeks, then I'd feel stressed. Maybe the stress would kick in quicker! And for what? about 60 euro more a week if that.

I'd say that is the definition of up or out culture/practices, rather than "kind of".

You wouldn't get redundancy payments in that scenario, it's just dismissal for underperformance - the role isn't being made redundant? Why would they give payoffs to people they're kicking out for being in the wrong place on the bell curve?

Anyway, I deal with that kind of toxicity by avoiding those employers. Life's too short for that bullshit, but I think it feeds some people's egos to hold themselves out as the "best of the best" simply because they screwed over / outlasted everyone else (like cockroaches after a nuclear disaster).

what I did - look like I wanted to do it but really just put in my 37 hours a week and have a nice life... Easier to take it all with a pinch of salt and chose a smaller house.

Very good advice.

Same. Also work for a global bank. If I hear the word platform one more time!
I think the decision to pursue interest rather than title and money needs to be respected more. It's ALL about the title and people who aren't continuing to climb are definitely judged. It's stressful even thinking about navigating, and I don't even want the job at the end. I do want to feel respected and valued though as I am good at my job.

No, they get rid of people via redundancy even if under performing. I've seen them people put people on plans and it's always the redundancy route.

Exactly - I continue to try to learn for myself, but trying to be comfortable with natural progression rather than leg work in again. I think covid made it harder for me to switch off from work so I got into some very bad habits, and need to adjust back.