Internal NHS interview anxiety

[Anxiousandfrazzle]

Hi all! Sorry for intruding on this thread.
Me and my boss are both 8b locums (but he joined the trust a couple of years before me and I only moved into the same dept under him 7 months ago). The role for one 8b has been released on trac and we both applied and got interviews (i had to keep reminding him to apply, up until deadline day). Then when we got the interviews, they kept forgetting and putting off accepting claiming to be too busy. And we had a week to prep for the interview, he kept saying it's not enough time and is busy and then on the week of the interview, called in sick every day, probably got sick from work... anyhow, day of the interview, it's chaos, opening a new ward, patient surge, I'm by myself, new doctor in and needs help using the systems so i was asked to assist closely all day and do some of their jobs to help. Then jumped straight into the interview- i had prepared, but became totally nervous and blank and didn't give the best answers/was fumbling my words a little and visibly nervous throughout. But I did answer everything and I think I didn't answer badly, but not as optimally as I knew I could because I'vedone the role and experienced every scenario listed. i know they also have 2 other external applicants so added nerves.

In relation to me and the other internal, I do all the leg work at work, everything operational to clinical, also, end up having to redo his work and fix errors and efficiently. I am also doing uni part time and come in early and stay late to get the work done so I can slot in clinical uni work around it and ensure I attain the minimum hours of work to get a pass in my degree.
I have good relations with everyone in the panel, but in the interview that definitely did not show across because i was too nervous and not as confident and bubbly as normal.
Also, tasks and development projects that have been asked of him for years, i implemented within my first few weeks-months on the role.

Problem is, no one seems to see it in the director team, management do, staff do, but the directors interviewed.. and once in the past mentioned "he is the lead, you have done well to help him deliver" and "he is very efficient" when LITERALLY took my work and claimed it as his own and said with my help we will do xyz.. and then fudged all the details and numbers and i had to correct and explain. I even sent all the data and info via email for further info as requested.

Sorry, long story short, i know they need to apply a fair objective process when interviewing and scoring, but will they consider the fact that, I had a hectic day and have been managing a hectic week of work, alone without the team, and have not struggled, complained or delayed and he has postponed by a week.

If he performs well verbally in the interview.. is that it for me? Or do you think they MAY think about other work, efforts we've made and efficiency and feedback from others across the directors and teams etc? Will they also, consider how no datixes have ever been related to me, but have to him..

Or
Shall I cut my losses and be prepared to leave? Because the interview is marked independently and objectively...

Thanks again,

TotallyNervousAndDemoralised

X

If you are an 8b, you will have interviewed others so you know, it is competency based questions and how you score on the day that gets you the job.

I was on a stakeholder interview panel (I was acting up as an 8a) for an 8b role and one of the candidates was clearly a good clinician, but they fumbled and stumbled through the interview due to nerves and the other candidates were so much more prepared and smooth so scored much higher. I have a feeling you were probably similar. Surprisingly the external candidate was extremely good, so you don’t need to know the service inside out.

Treat it as practice and a learning opportunity. You will get there. Not all of us are cut out for these strategic roles, so reflect on whether it’s what you really want.

I'm an 8b locum, so I don't think the banding counts for much other than payscale.. I've been qualified for 6ish years.. so really doesn't account for much tbh, but my bredth of experience in that time, my drive, my persistence and my imposter syndrome is always what makes me work my ass off to prove I deserve the role and that's it..but haven't been through the regular loops and hurdles of the normal substative staff..

It is certainly what I want it's also the one thing I've wanted most in a long time, it's just a culmination of things in the build up that left me so shaken just before entering.. usually I am a confident speaker and not afraid to talk or challenge.. interviews do scare me a bit but i always manage to calm myself before or at least a minute in.. just felt like I hadn't taken a second to centre myself that day though i tried and I had so much going on that I was just ill prepared mentally, because theoretically and practically I was prepared

Fuck bubbly. You can bet your house that none of the male candidates are writing on mansnet tonight that they are worried they weren’t bubbly enough. It’s sexist bollocks so let that go.

Youve done your best and you just have to wait and see now. It doesn’t sound like you’ve performed terribly at all.

i am curious why you would remind your boss to apply for a job you wanted so he didn’t miss the deadline. That seems insane to me. You say you spend a lot of time covering for his mistakes and doing most of the work - and here you are even making sure he gets an interview up against you. That’s madness.

Please please work on your imposter syndrome and confidence. It sounds like you’re really capable. Don’t waste that making sure some lazy second rate man gets a job you want while you worry you aren’t bubbly enough.

I’m an 8a and I’ve been on a lot of interview panels where the lead interviewer clearly already has an internal hire they have their heart set on…even if they’re not the strongest candidate on the day interview wise. Probably not fair or per policy but I definitely think they factor in some degree of knowing how you work day to day. Also definitely have had multiple cases of someone being perfect at interview and absolutely shocking once in post but by then it’s too late because we don’t have a probation period and it’s the NHS. I think it depends on the panel. I suppose all you can do is wait for the outcome and then ask for constructive feedback you can take away. It’s all good experience at the end of the day.

<3 thank you for your kind kind words!

I don't know, I just didn't want him to think I undermined him, like for a while, I just wasn't going to apply and kept reminding him and he kept putting it off.. and then I was like, no one is entitled to it.. so i asked his permission and he said yes.. then I kept reminding him so I wouldn't feel bad. Because at the end of this.. one of us is out of a job.. silly I know.. I guess I made my own bed! And I was bad, in terms of nerves and being flustered from a multitude of things that day because I didn't take a chance to stop and focus, i worked right upto the 2mins before and then left and straight back into work

Sounds like people pleasing and imposter syndrome in force. And this is why less able men tend to rise to the higher bands over much more able women. You can overcome this though. I found coaching very helpful (but expensive!) and there are lots of self help books.

In future remember you don’t need anyone’s permission to apply for a job. Tell your boss out of courtesy by all means but don’t ask permission. As an interim you need to be ruthless in looking after your own interest because you could be let go on a whim. Believe in yourself and don’t expect anyone to behave in your best interest, especially when you’re both fighting for the same role!

You might not get this role - though I hope you do - but the lessons you’ve learnt about making time and space to ground yourself before you go into interviews (maybe take the day/afternoon off?) and the work you’re going to do on your self belief and assertiveness will definitely pay off. Good luck 😊

I never thought this forum would be THIS helpful! I honestly thought, some people will just calm my nerves a little or let me down gently and it would be fine, but this is way more 🙏 honestly, can't thank you enough for this advice, any recommended books? I have always been this way, eternal perpetual imposter syndrome and people pleasing, but I just figured it made sure I worked hard and didn't rub people the wrong way! Thank you again, less anxious about losing the job!

Sorry for the slow reply, I have been really busy with teenagers and work. I recommend Own Your Own Greatness by Austin and Austin, because it’s a workbook with exercises which I always find useful. And you’re so welcome. It’s lovely to have the chance to give back some of the amazing advice I have been given 😊

Any news on whether you got the job?

No problem, i get we're all busy haha!
Thank you again! Honestly.

No word yet, was supposed to be today as other persons (last) interview was today..but nothing.. I've been in such a heightened state all day/week. I've basically told myself, I haven't got it. Accept it, grow and learn. But I am struggling with the idea of not being here for long as it was really the dream for me. I have other offers (mainly locum but they're encouraging perm once positions are posted etc) but just need to know the outcome from this to be able to inform them of whether I can and a potential start date. I did however say, I understand their role being filled is a priority too so to continue looking for matches, so there's possibilities the new options could be given to someone else too.. so.. pickle.. but I just need to remember it was a learning experience and what not..

Good luck OP, hope you get some good news!

I've been interviewing in NHS recently (currently an 8a but non-clinical) and I've had feedback three times from interviews that it went really well but there was a current secondment who got the role. I've also been the interviewer and the lead interviewer went with the internal candidate over the better candidate. It's really taken my rose tinted glasses off in terms of NHS recruitment.

I agree you shouldn't be propping up other candidates. How many men do you think would remind their competition to do the very basic bit of filling out the form by the deadline? Hopefully this will at the least give you motivation for the next time that you need to look after yourself and believe in yourself - you sound like you're doing an amazing job!

Sometimes in the nhs at band 8 level, they already know who they are going to appoint. Interview is just a formality.

Update :( was unsuccessful- feedback was basically nerves, had to be stopped during presentation and answering qs, and kept grabbing my bottle. I said I was nervous but it was my fault as I didn't take time to just calm myself beforehand, but explained I had tried, but I appreciate the opportunity.. was offered a lower role, which I kindly declined... absolutely gutted and demoralised. I know it's good learning, but feel like my perpetual imposter syndrome has been confirmed and I'm just an imposter

Thanks for the feedback..

Re, prompting to fill in forms.. I convinced them to switch to bank a while back (and myself) and said, like we both pay taxes, as locums we're eating at the nhs funding..

They signed up... 4-5 months later I was finally set up to bank (filled everything the same day, and chased regularly to ensure I switched asap)... 3 months later... they still haven't finished the paperwork..

I feel like, there's no point in proving my worth anymore

Just an update, unsuccessful
Xxx

Sorry to hear that OP but remember it for next time. If necessary take a half day before the interview, make sure you have prep time and can calm yourself. You will get the job you deserve !

Sorry to hear it OP. Take this evening to feel sorry for yourself! It's natural to feel a bit down even though you almost expected it.

If you decide to interview again, definitely try and book time off beforehand. Even an hour just to get your head out of the current tasks and into the interview can make a huge difference! Also no more propping up Mr Other Guy, he got the role he can look after himself now. You don't need to be his personal admin any longer!

Sorry you didn’t get it this time OP but your time will come. And I agree with @PlanBea, definitely do not help Mr Lazy any more than the strict requirements of your job!