Weighing up short term v long term career break

[Corilee2806]

Looking for some advice as I’m at my wits end and can’t seem to make a decision.

I’m about to take a career break for 5 months as I’ve been struggling to juggle work in a demanding role(3 days per week) and young children. I have a 2 hour commute at least once a week and work long days on the other two. Fitting this all in around the school run and wrap around care etc is challenging. My children are 5 and just 3.

The career break was meant to be just that - an opportunity to reset and think about what I want. My husband earns enough that we don’t need my salary which is a recent thing - it’s nice to have the extra money from my salary coming in but we would be comfortable without it. He has a senior role which requires him to be in London nearly every day so he has much less flexibility meaning I am often sorting all the logistics and as I’m part time, keeping the show on the road at home. He does do as much as he can and usually gets home in time for bedtime and cooks our dinner, this isn’t a DH problem situation.

The children both have things I’m trying to work on - my 5 year old doesn’t eat much and we’re really trying to improve that but it takes time and effort, 3 year old has very challenging behaviour which I’ve posted about before - this is gradually improving but getting out of the door every morning is hugely challenging due to his meltdowns and we’re late for everything. Add into that they’ve been ill 5 times since the start of January and I’m barely managing to work my hours and the work I do is poor quality as I’m so stressed and worn down. I feel like I’m failing at everything. Today I got to the office at 10 and had to leave at lunchtime to get my daughter, which is a regular occurrence.

The break starts in two weeks. I am tempted to just say I can’t do this and stay at home until they are both older and everything is less stressful? I feel like I’ve slept walked into this situation where my husband’s career has taken precedence but it’s the situation we’re in and in a way I feel lucky to have the choice to not work. I would be able to go back in at the same level.

Trying to think what other options I have. DH is worried about me stepping out completely but my career break policy allows me to take several years for childcare reasons if needed. I’m so torn - I have always been quite ambitious and could continue to progress where I am but not in this current vicious cycle.

thanks for reading if you got this far.

I would do the short term break and see how you get on.

It’s a sabbatical, not resigning as lots of job security I wouldn’t want to lose. After a year the career break policy states no guarantee of coming back to same role but you’d be found a role at different grade. Yes one in reception one starts school next September (2025). I know I probably need to hang in there and grit my teeth, just a rough few weeks!

I’d take the year, because you’ll be guaranteed your current role back and see how you are. A lot can change in a year and you may miss the stimulation of the workplace. If you still feel stretched at that point you may be able to extend for longer. I’d just be worried that “being found a role at a different grade” would in fact mean demotion for you when you did want to return.

Aah it was a typo on my part - I’d definitely be found a role at the same grade, just possible it could be a different team! Which I don’t mind.

i am thinking I might go on a bit longer, but just find the right balance of time out but not so long I get rusty and lose confidence etc.

@Corilee2806
Take the time out to be with your kids, (earthly) life is too short and you're not going to be on your deathbed wishing you worked more.

Regarding the behavioural problems with your kids, unless they have ADHD/other neurodiversity, having problems to that extent is a discipline problem. You need to be much stricter and give them proper consequences when they act up otherwise you're setting them up for a life where they dont respect you and don't think they need to listen to you or anyone in authority.

Thanks - agree on the first point, on your second, without going into all the background, it’s not a discipline issue - certainly not for my daughter and the eating issues. Part of me wishes it was so we might have a solution. It occupies a huge amount of my brain space so another reason why more time off feels like a better option.

Just be mindful that your husband will get even more reliant on you being home. Your relationship might change. Make sure you're financially secure. Pension etc