Management advice

[Halfwaytheree]

I started my first management role 6 months ago. I thought things were going well - I am friendly enough with my team ie taken time to get to know them and try to balance between giving them autonomy but also correcting them if they have gone the wrong way with something.

However there’s a lady I manage who applied for my own job and didn’t get it. I feel like she uses any opportunity to undermine me and is a constant source of negativity and problems. My own manager is aware and supports my actions, and has given me good feedback and a bonus for my work so far. he states he has had similar issues with her in the past. Hence why she didn’t get the job!

A problem I’m facing is that this lady tries to redirect my other staff to go through her instead of me and it’s clear, I need to essentially have a conversation with them to remind them I’m their manager and they should come to me instead for these things. Aibu to feel like a failure almost? Feels like something basic that they’re failing to do, and that I’ve been a bit “too nice” in how I might be handling them so far which has almost materialised in a lack of respect for chain of command. Any advice is appreciated

Do you have an opportunity for informal group chats where everyone gathers over a coffee for example?

You could cover it by saying you have say 3 updates today for the team;…..

1. New policy from head office starting on x date, (random subject) I will circulate for you all to see blah, blah
2. The car park is closed temporarily on Wed
3. If you have any individual queries (or whatever) it’s important that they should come firstly and directly straight to you, as the manager….as you have overall responsibility for xyz.

Then if you find out she has been doing this again, you can remind her of what was said earlier and why is she doing x?

Difficult conversations are less effective if you start with fluff. Start with what you want to say. Keep it clear and concise but lay out your message and why it matters in a minute or two. Prepare for possible responses and objections in advance so you have your own responses ready. Stay calm.

Informal meeting with all the team to outline all processes and "chain of command" (without using the words in inverted comments.

When you find out she is redirecting someone, or they are going to her instead of you - you need to tackle it head on. remind that person who they need to talk to about those things, and to her (maybe involve your manager) reminding her what the informal meeting said and get her to confirm to you, preferably by mail, that she has understood.

Not everyone is going to like you, but if you are clear and unemotional - and you sound as though your boss has your back - you will be fine. Tell your boss that if it continues you want her out of your team, and he is to take care of that.

How about taking the bull by the horns and, professionally, ask her to stop?
Just an idea (I've never been a manager). This conv would need framing and handling sensitively, possibly researching and even rehearsing beforehand.
But you are her boss! You cd say something along the lines of "so name, I've noticed that you've been asking xy and z to go through you on a number of occasions (have some specific examples to hand if nec) . It's great you want to take on more responsibilityb but I'd like you do do it this way instead, so I can have full oversight.
Then offer her a discrete task or project or training g progress where she can have her own area of responsibility maybe?

Thank you. I’ll have to start writing things up to email her, but essentially use that as a script when I discuss with her. So the email acts as a summary of our discussion

Why do you think they are going to her instead of you? Are there areas in which she has more knowledge and / or experience or is she available when you are not around? Will there be times when you want her to cover, e.g. when you are on holiday, or is she totally out of the chain of command?

Askamanager is great for so much advice (and funny stories) on workplace dilemmas and dramas. Search for ones tagged ‘being the boss’. She always advocates being direct and non-confrontational but ultimately people have to perform the job’s requirements. I’ve leant a lot about having excitations as a manager that don’t just stop at getting the work done to a reasonable standard but also about being professional in the full meaning of the word.