Missing real life colleagues

[Ittakeslonger]

Is it just me? I've been working in a new job remotely for four months and I am really missing having real-life colleagues. I only get to see colleagues twice a week in meetings on a screen with up to 16 other faces. I remember a time not so long ago when your boss would bore you about his holidays in France, people who disagree who's turn it was to get the milk, ask if you'd seen a TV programme, compliment you on a new skirt and a time when you could see the bottom half of bodies. I miss it so much. So many of my friends came through work. When I moan to people about remote working they talk about the benefits of staying an extra half hour in bed, escaping toxic office environments, not having interuptions, staying in for the repair man, loading the washing machine and wearing pyjamas bottoms. Aren't we supposed to be social animals or am I missing something. Is it really okay that we sit in the house all day with out chitchat ever again? I feel alone in my loneliness. 🙄

There are definitely some places that are purely toxic!

Pre pandemic I would have said I would love a fully remote job. In reality I have a full on job and I manage it better in the office. I also like the interaction with my colleagues.

I do 2-4 days in the office and the rest WFH.

As my job is so busy I don't get time to do much else during the day even when WFH.

Good to know I'm not unusual liking interaction with my colleagues.

I would love this. Any chance of DMing who the employer is? I thrive on wfh.

I even feel those who think they don't like being in an office don't realise they do miss interaction and conversation with other people (unless they're completely miserable types or socially awkward)

Wow. Impressive powers you must think you have, that you think you know this about all these people you've never met

I am not socially awkward.
I am 100% not miserable.
I chat to one colleague or another on Teams quite often.
I also chat to the people we are there to support.
But I am also out most evenings during the week and also at various times at the weekend, spending time with people at different things. I get loads of social interaction in my life thanks, and enjoy being able to focus in the peace and quite of my own home, or, on other occasions work whilst listening to the music I have chosen to, alongside not having a commute, and retaining flexibility over the hours I work (within reason), and the fact I can use 'trapped time' (lunch breaks for example) to do something useful in my own home.

I think this is the difference isn’t it? If you are able to get out most evenings etc and wfh probably makes this easier that’s great. When you can’t (for example you have children you need to be in for) you could go for days without adult interaction.

I am with you OP. I have been working somewhere about 1.5 years. Was told it was hybrid . At the beginning the reality was wfh with a meeting or 2 in the office a month. It was awful. Really difficult to pick up the job, social interraction was a teams chat (with people I hadn’t even met) and twice weekly catch ups which our boss basically dominated.

in the last 6 months or so we work in the office one day a week. I feel so much better actually knowing my colleagues. It’s clear who hates the office but many people seem to like it.

I try to book a desk in a local office -on other days and maybe 1 wfh day a week which feels like a ‘treat’ so I can do a bit of laundry , not have to get properly dressed and have half an hour extra in bed, nice lunch etc. I have to go and do a gym class/ jog/ walk/ something. I just feel bored out of my mind, distracted.

Yes, it comes from a real place of vulnerability to admit ''Work fulfils most of my social needs''.

I'm ok, not looking for tiny violin concertos but I it's not what we're used to...... especially in a world where single women of a certain age are kind of excluded anyway......... Not all, but it's harder I think.

ChanelNo9EDT I agree. It does take a lot to admit that but is so true for many. Some people don't have great social lives in the evenings or weekends. If you live alone there's a lot of time to fill. Also many young people, including my son, went through the pandemic and haven't built up a social life or the confidence to get out and join something. Work is a way to meet people, regularly without pressure who may or may not, become friends. It's the way I met many of my friends in the past. Work is also a way to build community , to feel part of something and that you belong. Conversation doesn't have to be amazing, it's the continuity that someone will be there who recognises us.
As I get older, and with an illness, I have less energy to socialise in the evening. I also feel it would impact my son with MH issues to be left alone all evening.
Work did use to provide some social function. Something has vanished replaced with convenience.

Yes. I think that's a good reason to change jobs .