I feel like i'm going to have a break down - how do I approach this with my employer?

[QueeniePlumtree]

Hi All,

I'm being referred to diagnostics for investigations as I've been experiencing worrying bowel and abdomen issues, that are intensifying. I work remotely on the whole, so have been managing OK this far.

However, I am soon to be expected to start commuting to be onsite with clients in meeting rooms delivering workshops over the next few months.

My symptoms have got progressively worse and can be limiting, I need to be near a toilet (sorry if tmi)

I developed anxiety last year and being in a very toxic work environment, I put my symptoms down to stress and burnout.

I have kept this to myself and not told anyone, but now feel I need to approach this. albeit a very embarrasing situation.

Not to mention needing to attend appointments (I'm doing this via a private healthcare scheme at work) - but also what I've just discussed with the GP is giving me huge anxiety and I cannot concentrate.

There's no way I can travel and be delivering presentations to rooms full of people, worrying about my body.

What would you do? How do I approach this? I feel on the verge of a breakdown. I'm shaking writing this, tears are streaming down my face.

There's so much crucial stuff going on at work, but I feel my health and mental health needs to come first! Its a small company and I know I'll be letting people down hugely.

Thanks in advance.

Sorry to hear about your problems.
You need to let your manager know you have a serious health condition (don't need to disclose anything further)
Ask for a referral to occupational health. Even a small company can buy into a service like Bupa.Then you can discuss your medical condition and needs at that appointment.

Or ask your GP to write you a fit note detailing the adjustments you will need due to an ongoing medical condition. You will then need to take that to discuss with your manager.

Yes, what Kinken said. Your health comes first xx

Thank you!

I have a referral to a private hospital and just waiting for an appointment.

Am I better sending an email, so this is in writing, or face to face. Usually (and as a Manager myself, I'd do face to face and follow up in an email) but working remotely in a toxic environment I'm not sure what to do.

I'm thinking of asking my GP to sign me off with anxiety for a few weeks. Not sure if this is the right approach, but, I don't know.

I've not been here 2 years, so worried about that too!

I have just been through exactly the same situation in the last year. My doctor signed me off for about 2 months to just try and recover and my company was incredibly supportive, albeit did not know the full story, I was just signed off for unexplained weight loss

Oh wow! I hope you are better now! it's great that they were so supportive.

I just don't know how to approach this with my manager, do I need to give details?

I agree with this .
You say the atmosphere is toxic so you feel unable to speak face to face you can write down in an email without giving too much detail- as @KinKenKon says you don’t have to give full details . You could just say I have been referred to a gastroenterologist for further tests and as such you will be unable to do the on-site presentations due to the symptoms.
However at some point you’ll need a face to face meeting for them to be able to support you.
Your GP may well sign you off but you may need reasonable adjustments to be made going forward when you return so it’s best to have an idea of what might be needed.

Aww I really do empathise with your current situation.

It’s a hard decision to make when you care about your job but need to take a step back. You need to prioritise your health and sometimes the only way to do this is to go on long term sick.

I assume you have some form of sickness and absence policy? I would just follow that in terms of how you report it - most places of work state you have to call them over sending a message so if that is also the case for you I would just phone your line manager to let them know the reasons for needing to be signed off work.

Also I’d only worry about how long you have been there if you were in your probation period or if it affected the amount of sick pay you were entitled to.

good luck x

Also I’d only worry about how long you have been there if you were in your probation period or if it affected the amount of sick pay you were entitled to.

Probation periods are a red herring. You can be let go for any non-discriminatory reason within the first 24 months of employment.

I would start by letting your employer know you have upcoming investigations on a health condition which could become a disability because it affects your daily life. You can state that you are letting them know early because you don't yet know what the diagnosis will be nor whether you will need some reasonable adjustments to support you to be able to do your job.

even if your tests and diagnosis prove to be benign and not a long term situation, you are putting yourself into a protected situation, especially if as you've stated you could struggle unless you have access to a toilet etc, which could be an ongoing long term situation depending on how your medical tests go.

here is some information from ACAS about talking to your employer about disability. The most important thing is that you have enhanced protection against discrimination and you could find it changes their attitude completely because you are protected in law. It will certainly help your MH to know you are protected in law. There are no consequences to you giving them bona fide information about your medical condition. You're being responsible and proactive. If the situation changes and your condition improves then you just let them know that.

https://www.acas.org.uk/supporting-disabled-people#:~:text=By%20law%2C%20nobody%20has%20to,to%20them%20or%20other%20people

Agree, get a GP letter to sign you off so you can relax abit and get your head around it all.
Email a photo of the sick letter to your boss.
No one could do your job in
These conditions, be kind to yourself they will have to cope while you get well.