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Feeling like is the start of bullying

5 replies

jasminegamine · 01/02/2024 14:06

My team works very closely with another team - I’m started to feel that the manager of this other team started picking on me for some bizarre reason. I’m the middle man between this manager and my manager, mainly providing docs and comms back and forth and in this particular area, my power of decision is very low - I usually just follow procedures or act on orders.

I dont wanna go into too many details, but they are usually picking on mistakes that they assume it is mine when it is not, making a big deal out of it and throwing tamtrums right, left and center - then the mistake maker comes forward and the manager does not apologise (I think they don’t believe someone higher up than me made the mistakes, not me).

Also they started giving me urgent orders and tasks even though this is not their place to do so. When my manager gives me the green light to go ahead, I do it quickly and to a high standard but receive zero acknowledgement or thanks and zero follow up on their own tasks that need done after mine - they totally ignore me and my questions until my manager asks me how is it going and I say they are not getting back to me, so my manager has to step in and get they to do what is needed which sometimes is as simple as an email stating approval.

Today they took an issue that I have already resolved outside our teams to other teams and higher management.
Luckily I have emails saved and my manager copied on that one but I will have to reply and forward everything to defend myself tomorrow as today I’m out of office on training.

I dont want act passive agressive but I also feel like I have to show the people they are involving in it that I’m doing nothing wrong and they are either disorganised, forgetful or trying to stir trouble.

But after that what is the best way to go about it? Trying to bring them to my side or keep collecting evidence quietly in case one day I need to contact HR?
There is a huge project coming up and both teams will have to work very closely together for a good few months and I get along with everyone but I’m bracing myself - trying to keep positive on all the learnings that can come out of it if I manage to keep alert and a good attitude.

Anyone been through similar.

OP posts:
Neriah · 01/02/2024 14:36

Why can't you talk to your manager about this? That is the right place for the discussion.

jasminegamine · 01/02/2024 14:52

Neriah · 01/02/2024 14:36

Why can't you talk to your manager about this? That is the right place for the discussion.

Edited

I have tried and ask my manager if she is understanding this behaviour, what might be behind it, is it me? anything I’m doing wrong? and she seems as baffled as I am.

I am relatively new compared to the other manager and my manager and also junior they are on a more equal level so I think my manager needs to be super careful and think about politics and such.

For now it does not seem like a full blown persecution of me but it just feels odd.
It does not seem like there is enough to go by yet, as they could probably try to ‘explain’ if things were escalated.

But other than my normal work that I do, trying to bring them to my side just feels like extra and should not be necessary in my opinion.

OP posts:
Neriah · 01/02/2024 15:17

I am relatively new compared to the other manager and my manager and also junior they are on a more equal level so I think my manager needs to be super careful and think about politics and such.

Your managers job is to manage. If they are allowing this to continue then they are failing to do that. The fact that you are "junior" makes it absolutely right that you take it up with them and expect them to resolve it. That's why they are not junior and get paid more than you. If they are more bothered about "politics and such" they are failing to look after the work and welfare of their staff - which is what the job is.

jasminegamine · 01/02/2024 15:27

Neriah · 01/02/2024 15:17

I am relatively new compared to the other manager and my manager and also junior they are on a more equal level so I think my manager needs to be super careful and think about politics and such.

Your managers job is to manage. If they are allowing this to continue then they are failing to do that. The fact that you are "junior" makes it absolutely right that you take it up with them and expect them to resolve it. That's why they are not junior and get paid more than you. If they are more bothered about "politics and such" they are failing to look after the work and welfare of their staff - which is what the job is.

Yes
I will reply to emails and do my part tomorrow then bring it up and see where it goes - because one thing I’m sure about is that there are plenty of opportunities out there for me and I will not stay in a job where the culture is bad -

OP posts:
Neriah · 01/02/2024 18:21

jasminegamine · 01/02/2024 15:27

Yes
I will reply to emails and do my part tomorrow then bring it up and see where it goes - because one thing I’m sure about is that there are plenty of opportunities out there for me and I will not stay in a job where the culture is bad -

Better!

I'm often not "popular" because I manage. I don't care. I don't go to work to be popular. Perversely, most people like me, a few hate me, and nobody is in the middle! Nobody messes with me. Nobody messes with my teams. But I'll also be tough on performance if I must. I just prefer not to.

Your manager isn't managing...

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