It's taken me nearly a year to write this post, the trauma is still raw,
I am a mother of a teenage boy and also a teacher of teenagers. I thought I was pretty aware of online issues. I thought I'd stressed enough to my son that you 'never share anything you don't want the whole world to see'. I thought my rugby loving, streetwise 17 year old would recognise a scam or threat if it came his way. I wish I'd been right.
My son had been using a site, Omegle, now closed down but I'm sure replaced by others, to meet girls. I'd never heard of this site. The girl he'd met suggested they move to Instagram, they started sharing photos, videos then
the screen flipped and he was watching himself.
I can only imagine the fear that gripped him as the realisation of what was happening hit him.
Immediately, the threats began. They'd accessed his Instagram and (linked) Facebook accounts and had a list of his contacts. They selected five, including me and his grandparents, and said they would send the images unless money was sent. The images would then be sent to everyone if no further money was sent.
The incessant threats and pressure were levied throughout the night. My son did not sleep. They were pressuring him to go to the nearest Western Union outlet some 80 miles away as he could not send it from his bank account. My son went through hell that night and took himself for a run at midnight. I believe I'm very lucky he came back.
The threats and pressure came fast and thick. My son transferred £1000 by PayPal and had set up a recurring weekly direct debit of £600 by dawn. My son was desperate to pay them to stop them sending the photos.
My son kept all of this to himself and when I came back from a trip away, the next evening, he did not intend to tell me. I noticed he was acting out of character and pushed him to tell me - eventually he did.
My son had contacted the police himself and reported the incident. I spoke with them once but unfortunately a follow up call didn't come. There was nothing they could do as the extortionists were based in the Philippines. The PayPal money could not be retrieved as 'friends and family' had been selected. The bank did cancel the direct debit and stop the first payment.
We took advice from internet and legal experts. The reason for me sharing this is that I really hope we can protect some of your teenagers. What can you do?
. Share this scenario. Get them to imagine the horror, as awful as it is, I can't think of any other way to make them realise the possible consequences. PSHE doesn't cut it.
.Get them to enable two factor authentication on social accounts.
.Keep social accounts private.
.If something happens, talk to someone. They can help you to cope with the fear and threats.
.If the photos are shared, help them to deal with it. Possibly use a strategy such as telling people it was a 'deep fake'.
The majority of cases reported involve boys aged 14 to 17. My son was fortunate that his photos weren't shared. I am incredibly fortunate that the consequences weren't far worse.
An online search shows the rise of similar cases was approximately 70% in the UK in 2023. In the US it was over 7000%. The evolution of AI could have far reaching consequences.
There is some useful information here:
https://www.iwf.org.uk/news-media/news/hotline-reports-shocking-rise-in-the-sextortion-of-boys/