Name change
I've been in my job 4 months.
It's a similar job to those I've had over the past 20 years.
I should be able to do it standing on my head but I can't.
I've been making mistakes and forgetting stuff, no matter how hard I try.
It's a client facing role and I usually see 6 clients a day (hours are 7 a day).
There is a phenomenal amount of admin to do but everyone else appears to manage.
The reality is, I think, that people work more than 7 hours a day. I've heard people talk about logging on at weekends to catch up. I do more than 7 hours most days but draw the line at weekends.
I feel that people are talking about me. I haven't really made any good relationships with colleagues (this is unusual for me - I've got close friends that I met at work 20 years ago). I feel quite isolated there and have now given up trying to get to know people.
I am nearly 55 and menopausal. I've also got some additional health problems which make me tired (& I'm overweight).
I feel I just need to leave and find a job with less stress. I will have to take a substantial pay cut.
Today I am off sick. I think I've got a throat infection as I can barely swallow.
I let my manager know and a colleague early this morning that I wouldn't be in today.
Usually when someone is off sick a message goes on our Teams chat to tell the team.
There's nothing about me being off sick today (I have checked). It makes me feel it doesn't matter if I'm there or not.
I'm genuinely doing my best for the clients but I don't think it's doing me any good at all, physically or mentally.
This is just a moan really. I know I just need to move on. But it's hard to acknowledge that for some reason I can't do it anymore.
Past it?