helping out another team - I don't want to!

[motheronthedancefloor]

Need advice on how to raise this with my manager who isn't being very supportive tbh
I work in a team of two - me and my manager. I'm his only direct report. We could really do with another person. I like my job but its non stop, I don't get time to take full lunch break etc. Manager always says 'take your breaks', 'manage your time better', if only it were that easy. I have deadlines to meet and work just piles up.
There is another team in our department (so two teams in the department). They have 12 staff and a new manager. Apparently they don't like the new manager and I'm not too keen on her either.
They've had 3 staff go off sick recently - one with stress, I suspect the same for the others. 2 other staff have reduced their hours. 1 is about to leave for another job. 1 is about to go on maternity. So they are short staffed.
We are meant to work in partnership with this team, which is fine most of the time, but there are other times where they seem expect me to actually be part of their team and do what I believe to be their jobs. (more so now they seem to be short staffed). This other manager keeps asking me to help wth things / explain things she doesn't understand when its her team's job or she/they could figure it out for themselves.
Its distracting me from doing my own job and adding to my workload. I find myself dreading the latest request or message. There's more to it but it would be outing to explain more.
I've tried to speak to my manager who says I should try to be helpful. He's very much a people pleaser and doesn't have to deal with the constant 'help' messages I get. I have a 121 with him tomorrow annd I don't know how to address it with him in a way that doesn't get a 'suck it up' response.
Its making me unhappy. Any advice on how to approach this?

I would lay out all my deadlines for my manager so we could discuss what the priorities should be. I'd explain that the frequent interruptions are interfering with my ability to complete my work and ask what deadlines or tasks could be set aside if push comes to shove. It's too late to do this in time for your 1-2-1 tomorrow, but to back up my claim I probably would have tracked my time over a week or two to evidence how much of my working day is being absorbed by the other team.

This places the ball in your manager's court as to what to do. They might see your workload, realise you're stacked out and concede that the other department's endless requests should in fact be lowest priority in the grand scheme of things. They might decide to keep people pleasing for the other department but concede that some other bits need to be taken off your plate to accommodate this. The worst will be if, as a people pleaser, he just tries to avoid giving you a solid answer - in this case, you've at least covered your own arse by highlighting the problem with your manager and trying to constructively resolve it.

Another strategy could be to be assertive with your boundaries but not unhelpful. E.g. if the new manager in the other department asks for help, say, "Sorry, Sue, but I've really got to get XYZ done this morning! Can you hold on till 3, and I'll come over and show you? If it can't wait, Mike or Jane may know." That way, you haven't refused to help but you've given yourself a bit of breathing space to work on your deadlines and the manager might learn to turn to someone else some of the time.