Overwhelmed with work

[Toomanylosthours]

Seeking advice, please.
Over the past 12 months, I've found myself feeling consumed with work thoughts, overwhelmed to the stage. I'm awake most of the night feeling like I'm going to fail. Abit of background so as not to drip feed. I've never failed at work (that I'm aware of) and have constantly moved up the 'career ladder' at a steady pace. I hold a senior role which I took 4 years ago within my existing company and have regularly (9 days out of 10) been working 10 / 12 hour days (home based contract), whilst experiencing health issues (TIA amongst other things). Without a break. I fully understand I'm responsible for my own time keeping, breaks etc however, the work load doesn't permit the focus time I have already in my diary due to line management demands (18 direct reports), client last minute demands and general company politics etc. My employment contract expects me to deliver the hours the job demands without overtime. I've made a formal request for occupational health assessment and a change in position (demotion) at the end of 2023. I'm still waiting for an appointment and am now off sick.

Despite being off sick with 'workplace stress', I find I'm still waking at 2am consumed with work thoughts and concerns over going back to work in February. My normal positivity and tenacious personality has vanished, replaced with someone who i dont recognise. I'm negative, deflated, the slightest thing overwhelms me or makes me angry.

I'm reluctant to take any prescription medication. I feel this will just plaster the issue. I'm also reluctant to find another job. The core of my job I really enjoy. I'm not enjoying the other 3 jobs that seem to have merged into my role to save the company money on recruiting a new role and thise elements which which other managers know will impact me most so if they leave it they know I'll eventually have to deal with the scope that has increased to an issue.

So my question... how do I begin to not give a fuck? Let those things that have been tagged onto my role fall to the ground? Let others pick up the slack?

Have you made your line manager aware? When I was managing multiple projects with different timeframes, if ever I believed there was more to do than could be done in the time I'd put it to my line manager .... this is not possible.

Used this stragegy in different jobs, always worked. Some taken off my plate, sometimes it was decided that for example one of the projects could be shelved.

Yes, I've made them aware during our regular one 2 ones. The response was... I can hear what you're saying, but I also know you're robust and will push through. You are conscientious and always deliver despite the problems you encounter. You'll always find a solution. After a few months of those responses and being told, i need to manage my time. I formally wrote to my manager advising the concerns, requesting the occ health intervention and demotion.

Hi Solution.. thanks for asking. Im tired and anxious. Anxiety isn't something I've suffetent previously. Nerves, yes, but anxiety, no! re: emotional support, what do you suggest? I've got a really supportive family and friendship group, all who I'm able to speak with. They're originally the ones who raised the concern re: my health and the work impact. I obviously spend a lot of time moaning about it.

The sector is private and operational management within large infrastructure projects.

It doesn't seem it at the moment. But i genuinely enjoy MY job and generally have a sense of job satisfaction. I just don't enjoy the pressure that comes with doing my job and at least 1 other.