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Should I leave?

9 replies

Bighamster · 28/01/2024 20:56

Hi MN
I posted before under a different name last year, I'm in a management role, managing a team of 5, working for a national charity.
I was promoted around 15 months ago, after helping to set up a new project, was meant to be a short-term change, then became permanent. I do not enjoy being a manager.
I work in a high pressure environment with limited resources.
3 of the 5 in the team are very capable, hardworking & easy to manage, two are not. They are both older than me, seen as ‘hard work’ by the rest of the organisation. Have worked there for over 5 years - way before I started. One is particularly difficult to manage -poor communication skills, often late/missed meetings, chaotic, I often need to delegate the work she doesn't do or I just do it myself.
I've started to become more boundaried with her & have approached her about the things that aren't being actioned, spoken to her about why they aren't being done/have become more boundaried only to find out she's complained she's being 'micro-managed'
She always has an excuse, & nothing is ever her fault. The other person I mentioned is just not very good at the job, meaning that other team members are frustrated as they're doing most of the work. These two people will never change, they make me feel incompetent & miserable. They sometimes make me feel angry & I'm not an angry person.
The stress that's related to the role is now starting to massively impact my life outside of work, the support from my manager isn't great. I can't see that anything's going to change & I'm desperate to leave.
I have a small amount of savings & have started to apply for other jobs, but genuinely don't think I can hold on.
Has anyone else on here ever taken the risk of just leaving, and glad they took that leap of faith? Would appreciate your thoughts/experiences as I'm literally starting to dread going to work.

OP posts:
IhateJan22 · 28/01/2024 21:16

If you want to continue being a manager then I’d ride this out as you will always have challenging employees to manage. Have you talked to them about the issues?

Zigzagga · 28/01/2024 21:25

I know it's hard but don't leave until you have another job to go to. Work to rule and if you know you want to leave anyway try and mentally check out and throw energy into job applications. Your bank balance will thank you! However stressed you are now will pale into comparison if you don't get a job straight away and your savings are diminished

idontlikealdi · 28/01/2024 21:45

Line up another role and then leave, unless you've got savings you can live on. Line management is a PITA.

Bighamster · 28/01/2024 22:08

Thanks for the replies.
I don't want to continue to line-manage, agree it's a PITA 🤯
I really want to hand in my notice this week, jump on those jobs apps, hope for the best.
But appreciate that finding something first is sensible.
It's all so frustrating.

OP posts:
user1471503652 · 29/01/2024 06:17

I'm in a similar situation (also a national charity ha!) And I think you've had some good advice here.

Just need to stick it out, disconnect emotionally from work and throw energy into applying for other jobs. Tempting as it is, typing up that resignation email, it's easier to find a job when you've already got one.

fairo · 29/01/2024 06:22

Can you manage them out under a capability plan?

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/01/2024 07:35

What I found helped me in a similar situation was to look at my diary and set a date for leaving, whether I found something or not. I chose a date 3 months in the future and wrote “resign” as a task for that day.

I then focussed all my spare energy on looking for a suitable job, having worked out the salary I needed to be able to live day to day. That meant I could consider jobs at a slightly lower salary that sparked my interest rather than chasing a particular amount, I also saved like crazy to build a bit of a safety net.

I felt lighter because I knew there was an end date in sight, gave myself permission to ease off at work and I was offered an interesting new role, I resigned from shit job on the day I had written in my diary.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 29/01/2024 09:17

I agree with @Jellycatspyjamas - setting a date gives you focus and a timeline rather than just 'I'm thinking of resigning.' Think of it as a project - CV polished, decide you'll look at x number of job ads a week and apply to y numbers of jobs.

Bighamster · 31/01/2024 12:58

Thank you everyone 👍 so helpful

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