Am I the problem here?

[ginandvomit]

I'm not really sure where to start. I'll try and give context.

I joined an organisation (large multinational) during Covid lockdown. I was approached by a recruiter went through vigorous interview process and landed dream job in a leadership role. I loved it, reporting into the GM with a small but highly important team reporting into me. I was treated me with so much respect and given a lot of responsibility. The specific business unit I joined was not if a good place, losing market share with inherent issues that were beyond the abilities of the local team to fix and needed a lot of help as well as desperately awaiting new product pipeline to launch and replace problem products. The other managers (my peers but different roles) reporting into the GM did not get on with him. They actively disliked him, and there was a bad culture in some of their teams.
It was highly stressful and I was doing very long hours however I was put on a fast track with HR and earmarked as High performing and nominated to be part of a global talent program.

I was 1 year in when suddenly the company got rid of my boss, (it had been a revolving door apparently). I was very upset at the way it was done. They sent global HR to support me. My former boss put me as his out of office SIC.

Within 2 months new GM announced, I believe she'd been in the wings for some time and she could not be more different than my previous manager. She's very social, and also very glamorous wearing high end designer shoes, clothes and handbags.

We got off to a rocky start, as straight away she took over from some projects I was working on. She promoted a manager who was formerly on a performance improvement plan and who has been described by others in very senior roles as "toxic" this person also did not like me and no doubt expressed their views of me to her.

The new GM (rightly so) did a massive restructure of the business, she kept me informed along the way so it was not such a shock. Several managers left (offered redundancies) and one by one she brought over people from her old company, 7 so far and 6/7 are men. She spoke openly and disparagingly about many people from the original business.

My new boss openly raised the profile of the other teams (agreed this was needed) but by doing so actively diminished the profile of my team. Even my team noticed and commented to me. Very evident during leadership meetings and sometimes humiliating.

She took away levels of responsibility and several approval processes that were previously part of my role and created a new WhatsApp group for her new leadership team excluding me and my team and when I questioned she explained they needed to have this forum. The other previous leadership WhatsApp group that I am on is now silent.

As part of my talent development program I had to do a 360. She told me who to include expressing not to add her manager. The feedback responses were split, and she, and her closest team were absolutely disparaging of me whereas others were glowing. I was very upset.

She's blocked me from travel seeing clients even though I had many established relationships (been in this industry for many years) and explains it's to save budget while she and her new team travel extensively having lunches and dinners in expensive restaurants (she calls them her "boys"). Travel is a small part of my role and meeting with customers from time to time is necessary for me to fully do my job plus I really enjoy it.

I am no longer part of any global leadership development programs.

She's pulled a key person/department out from my team and they now report to her although she has also stripped him of responsibility and removed his direct report.

She routinely goes directly to my team with requests and instructions and asks me to pull back and manage with a hands off approach and not get involved.

I have my annual review tomorrow after our first full year working together. I've already read her summary and she's marked me as performing below my peers. I'm understandably upset but not surprised.

I don't know where I stand with her, verbally she says the right things but her actions show different. I really don't want to leave, the area is quite niche, I've spent an entire career becoming an expert, I know I am highly regarded by others and when allowed to do so very good at my job.

In some ways I can see what she has brought to the business, her new hires from her previous company are also very good. She is very charismatic and the wider team like her. The business is in a somewhat better position (however this is largely due to factors beyond her control and she is an expert in selling herself and "managing up").

Some clients really like her (mostly her telling me this, she is very self absorbed) although I have had other clients specifically tell me she has a lot to learn and they don't want to deal with her directly. I have not passed this on, it would not go down well.

I suspect she's trying to make my life miserable so I leave and she can replace me with someone from her old company. What would you all do? How would you approach the review?

Sounds like a toxic relationship there and I think she does want you to resign.

Honestly i havent read it all, but ive read enough to know thats shes toxic and you need to leave!

I think you’ll have to leave because you’ll never fet back what you had under your old boss. I also think you have a strong case for constructive dismissal. I would seriously consider talking to an employment lawyer if I were you.

This is what I was afraid of and I think I already knew that I need to start looking.

well there’s a few things that stand out.

People always bring their new people in. It’s what happens. My new CEO isn’t even from this country but brought a CHRO in. Who brought quite a few of her people.

Unfortunately, in Senior management when the boss changes, there’s huge changes. I think you need to be preparing to leave. I think she sounds not great. But non of what you put is a surprise.

It wont have escaped her notice that you were the only one that got on with the last GM. Sometimes that doesn’t reflect well. There could be a sense that you were fast tracked, unfairly, because you got on with the GM. New leaders listen to people to pick up on what’s been happening for the last months. To get a feel for dynamics. And they want to make a team loyal to them.

How popular were you with your peers?

Its seems she made have made some judgements about you based on your previous performance and relationship with the GM. The previous GM also sounds, let’s say, not great.

On the flip side you seem to be making judgements about her and her socialising and clothes and even shoes. Non of which is relevant.

She could be awful and you amazing. Or you could be awful to work with and she is fine or it could be somewhere in the middle. It’s difficult to judge because this is only from your POV.

But having been through such a shake up lately, I can see people in my office that have ended up in your position and I can (from the outside) see wrong on both sides.

I would approach your review as you put it here. Her actions and words don’t match.

You want specifics when it comes to feed back. Why does she feel you are performing lower than your peers. What can you specifically do to improve.

be specific in what you say. Ask why you aren’t allowed to travel to see clients? She what her reasoning.

Even if you leave it’s worth playing the game for now.

Where did your old boss? Any roles there?

Postponed so we can do it F2F Tomorrow...

Yes I would consider that.

She didn't speak highly of her former business, said the culture changed when the company was aquired (previously boutique and now multinational) which is why she left.

You make some valid points and I have tried to present it from both sides.

I only mention her appearance as she is very striking and it's a part of her personal brand. Fair play to her, she is very memorable and clearly strives to be so.

As far as my peers go, they're all smart enough to see they need to sing to the beat of her drum.

I had a more senior colleague who I worked extremely well with and they thought very highly of me. They left for another division as they couldn't stand her. I was initially meeting up with them for support and mentoring however I realised it was not productive and didn't help my headspace so I stopped while I was still trying to adapt to the new way of working.

Why has she left it an entire year to bring up you underperforming? ( this is bs and meant to knock your confidence) so tackle her on why nothing has been stated at any stage. Along with why actions don’t correlate with what’s said by her.

Attack is the best form of defence

You lost my interest when you described your new line manager's appearance.

What did the one you liked and who liked you look like? You haven't said.

Obviously she is trying to get rid of you.

One thing you could do while playing the game for now is ask for her help and support in raising your performance to the level she expects. She is your manager so is responsible for setting clear goal/direction and helping you to get there.
(Obviously this is only the game as she will not help you, as she wants rid. But might help in any future claim against her if you were to go down that route).

It’s really difficult to present a story from both sides. Because you have no idea of other information she is being fed, what she has observed, the details of her plans etc. That’s not to say you haven’t tried. But you are telling her side, through your own perspective. We all do that. That’s entirely natural.

So again, 2 people that she needs to be aware of (the previous GM and a senior manager who ‘couldn’t stand her’) both thought highly of you and showed a personal interest.

Could there be a chance that, while you are great at your job, the 2 people who liked you may have given you opportunities based on personality not just skill. completely but to a point.

The previous GM wasn’t doing a great job. As this one has made changes ‘that were needed’. And the senior manager couldn’t stand her, which she would known, and you have been cast as ‘their people’.

I do think this is recoverable if you really want to stay. But you need to out a lot of work into building a relationship with her and it’s doesn’t sound like you want to. The previous GM wasn’t easy to get on with, but you did get on with them and turned it to your advantage. Could you do that again?

Or you need to leave. It really depends on whats best for you.

I do think you need to review your thinking. You didn’t describe the male GMs appearance at all. Not wether he was striking or wether he was memorable though his appearance. People, including women, don’t need to dress in high end clothes to be striking or memorable. Or good at her job. yet it’s the very first thing that you mention.

It sounds like either you may be a bit intimidated by her or you may have, sub consciously, taken a dislike to her because she puts so much effort into her appearance. Almost like there’s a hint that you think she only achieved what she has, in part due to her looks. She can put the effort in looks wise and be really good at her job.

Not saying you have to work through that here, but I do think it’s something you should think about privately.

Grey, slightly portly, balding middle aged white guy. Non descript suits.

Nice try. But no gong.

No job is worth this hassle, just leave.