Never felt stress like it

[SilverSideUp]

Utterly fed up
I think I'm going to fail probation I have children and elderly parents to support.i am single so no one else to share load with
After five months of positive feedback saying I was passing probation I raised concerns over my mounting casework load as we are encouraged to share this. Traditionally I've never ever raised concerns but such was what I thought was supportive environment I shared this.

Come end of probation they said I was not being strict enough with managing my workload: therefore probation was extended fully took this on board and understood this

Last month I've been strict with this but had another meeting yesterday and told I need to take a more autonomous approach which seems contradictory. I was not expecting this
I feel as though they are now documenting everything and I feel suspicious of this.

I feel extremely anxious and stressed. All confidence gone. Love the job and I was on track. Feel totally mugged off for sharing concerns I was encouraged to do. Very tearful this weekend and dreading the week ahead
Wish I'd never left my old job now

I would plaster on a professional smile and simply recognise that their guff about sharing concerns is just that and that in fact they don't want you to do this. In most workplaces this is the case. As soon as you complain or raise any issue you find the focus turns instead to you. It is sad but v common.

You were doing well for five months, you didn’t regress, you just questioned. They gave you a goal, you achieved it, now you have another goal and you can do this as well. Jump through their hoops, show them!

Thank you
Literally everything else excellent. This week told if they could have ten of me in the team they would be happy. My passion and job if of high quality
But the meeting aside from that felt negative
The mixed messages are awful
Lesson learnt I will never share concerns again
Confidence is fucked now

But I appreciate your comments so much