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Can't work with this colleague - what to do?

6 replies

ItWasneaMe · 20/01/2024 20:08

For this first time ever in my working life, (I'm 60 now) I've come across a colleague who I just can't work with. He's uncooperative, doesn't want to discuss anything, won't come to meetings I've set up, & winds other people up too. I've recently realised it's not just me.

He sets up work tasks without telling anyone what he's done and expects us all just to pick it up and run with it. Even 3rd parties are attending site visits, not knowing what it is he actually needs them to do.

His response to emails is brief and often does not address the issue I raised and if I try to call him or speak to him at his desk, he either messages that he's too busy, or tells me to send him a spreadsheet and he'll look at it later. One task we've been waiting for him to complete for over 6 months now because he's too busy to bother with it and has lots of 'more important' work to do.

He earns far more than me and I've been told on several occasions that he gets paid a lot for his expertise but he doesn't respect mine.

On a personal level he's funny and engaging but work wise he seems unaware of the stress he's causing me and others. His line manager seems to think the sun shines out of his proverbial and brushes off complaints. Indeed they arrive at work together, go off into meetings together, have lunch together and leave together.

What's going on and should I go above the line managers head and speak to the head of dept, or just lay low?

OP posts:
Neriah · 21/01/2024 07:41

You have three options.

You accept it
You leave
You raise a complaint to the line manager or higher

There really isn't any thing else. But I suspect you already know that.

FacingTheWall · 21/01/2024 07:42

Speak to your line manager about the impact on your work.

Greycottage · 21/01/2024 07:45

Neriah · 21/01/2024 07:41

You have three options.

You accept it
You leave
You raise a complaint to the line manager or higher

There really isn't any thing else. But I suspect you already know that.

Agreed - but with a fourth option too. Talk to him (preferably face to face). Tell him look Bob, this is really impacting my experience at work and causing me stress. Can you just answer my email properly? I need X for Y. Etc.

HappiestSleeping · 21/01/2024 07:46

Also, keep a log of instances where this chap has not answered emails etc. If you complain, you will need evidence

MsMcGonagall · 21/01/2024 07:58

I'm amazed you've got to 60 without encountering someone who you can't work with!

Try to tackle one issue at a time and stay as calm, reasonable and "high ground" as possible.

Say take the issue about waiting 6 months for the answer. Send a clear polite email that you really need this now; and/or raise in meetings and get minuted as action point. If after a couple of weeks you are still waiting, THEN you can bring his line manager into this and ask of it can be prioritised.

Issue about a work task being set up without you knowing - what has his response been when you ask him why he's done this? Are there procedures or policies you can point to that show how he should set up a task? Get a response from him and if it isn't a good response, then talk to the next level manager about what system could ensure that work tasks get set up with everyone knowing.

ItWasneaMe · 21/01/2024 11:15

Thanks everyone. I suppose I do know what I need to do really.

MsMcGonagall: I'm a pretty easy going personality and hate confrontations which is probably why this situation makes me feel so uncomfortable. I've been able to rub along with people I don't actually like very much, and can find a compromise in most cases, but in this instance I think I need to escalate it.

HappiestSleeping: yes, evidence is key. I'll get started compiling a list tomorrow.

Greycottage: he won't engage with me f2f. He seems to avoid talking to me at all and will cancel meetings I set up. Maybe I need to be more direct and call him in to a spare meeting room for a 'chat'? (having drawn up my evidence first)

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