How to handle this?

[Corporatepreggolady]

Hello everyone!

I've recently started a new job (2 months), inheriting a big project with lots of parts that I've been trying to keep moving forward - scheduling meetings, working with stakeholders across the business, writing comms. Etc!

On Friday, a colleague (not my manager but senior to me) said she 'needed me to work differently' and that our boss had been asking 'whether I was a team player'.

I tried to drill down and get more specific feedback; it was all a bit vague but essentially (I think) I should be CC-ing my boss into everything, and making sure that we're working as a team on this project. (Rather than just pushing it forward.)

I can work that way and it's good to know - just a difference in working styles, IMO. But I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable with how it was raised; I don't know if our boss had asked her to speak to me, or she was going around my boss... In any case, it feels just all a bit indirect.

I really don't want any drama or politics in this new role. Should I talk to the boss directly, or let it lie and see if it happens again?

Could you schedule in a 1-1 with your boss and ask for specific feedback after the first couple of months?

Discuss with your boss directly-you probably do not know all the history of the project, ways of working etc.

Don’t start cc’ing your boss into every email unless you are asked to or you need him yo
do something.

Definitely speak to your boss to ask for their specific requirements. Don't cc them into all emails unless you're 100% sure that's what they want.

Thanks everyone. It sounds like the direct route is better. I won't frame it as 'So-and-so said...' but 'do you have any early feedback on ways of working?'

I would absolutely frame it as "so and so said". Why not?

"So and so has given me some feedback, I want to check in and see if you agree with it; if so, can we chat through what you want from me so I have a clear understanding?"

If you beat about the bush, there's a risk you don't get an answer. If your boss says oh everything's fine - it's a lot more awkward to have to say, well actually...

Interesting @LordEmsworth - thank you for your response. But could I start looking a bit bitchy here? Like if gets back to that person that I disclosed our conversation to the boss...

Argh! This is what I hate!

You don't necessarily have to name the colleague who spoke to you. You could say you've had some feedback and you'd like to check your boss's preferences.

I'd be horrified if my team started coping all their emails to me! It was common when I started in my last job and it took me ages to coach people out of it/reassure them it wasn't necessary.

Why would it be bitchy? I honestly don't understand, based on what you've said, why picking up on this could be construed as bitchy. It's work, not the playground.

Good shout, thank you!

Yes, it's definitely a different style to what I'm used to. I've worked for smaller companies before where you just crack on and get the job done. It didn't even occur to me that wouldn't be the right approach.

But I guess this new role is a big org and maybe a more consultative approach (ahem, doing everything by committee) is the norm...

Yes, fair enough. It shouldn't be seen as bitchy, I agree. But I think this is the issue when feedback isn't given directly - you then have to go in circles figuring out what was actually meant and by who!

Which is why going back to the alleged source cuts that out... It's pretty easy to say, I am worried that I'm not meeting your expectations because I've heard this feedback.

If the senior person is known to be an unreliable trouble-making interferer, your boss will know, and best to find out sooner rather than later.

Very wise 🙇‍♀️