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Do I just leave.

15 replies

justmeandmy3minions · 11/01/2024 23:18

Hello all this may be long so bare with me,

I am having to make a decision whether to rerun to work or leave I will break down the whole situation to make it easier for you all please no judgment.

Been with the company since 2016 very happy there I got pregnant I had a high risk pregnancy but was supported fully by the midwives etc so I could still work by the time I was 21 weeks pregnant some idiot smashed into the side of my car and caused damaged to my shoulder due to my pregnancy treatment couldn't be done I was signed off sick as I couldn't preform any duties at work and the stress and anxiety of whether my baby would be ok. Sickness for a few weeks then maternity leave starts and off I go.

I had a rough time with my baby little one was diagnosed with a condition which was really hard to manage lack of support from health professionals I was up and down the doctors and hospitals pretty much everyday for 8 weeks solid the lot I fell into a deep depression due to serve sleep deprivation my mental health was an absolute wreck it still is roll onto the end of my mat leave I had to be signed off due my mental health and the fact my shoulder was not sorted out I am still awaiting an mri. It was also discovered I had preeclampsia after my baby was born as I collapsed with an extremely high blood pressure reading 2 weeks after I had little one it was never picked up during pregnancy even though my legs swelled up to the size of tree trucks.

DS has epilepsy which has worsen over the last few months so due to his condition I have been supporting him loads more now due to his decline his seizures were controlled and stable but now he is having multiple seizures every few days obviously my main thing is his health and safety and wellbeing my children will always come first.

I have been referred to community mental health team after having 10 sessions of counselling and I have that app in the coming weeks. The counsellor said I was burnt out and there are signs of ptsd along with depression and anxiety.

I have spoken to my amazing manager today regarding my next steps as my ssp is running out and I am really unsure on what to do I am not allowed a life style break due to the amount of time off I have had which is understandable so the only options is they get the occupational health involved which according to my manager they can tell my employer to terminate my contract which will look bad on my record for future employment or I resign so my record is clean.

I just do not no what to do I have never been in this position before i terms of a work OH I am unsure if to just leave or let them get the OH involved but I am unsure of what they actually do as my manager was very vague.

Obviously my situation is so complex due to not only my health issues but also my little boys. I cannot physically carry out my job at present due to my injury anyway.

I was thinking maybe it's best to leave on good terms so the door is always open and I concentrate on my children and myself until I am 100%. I don't want to be a burden and impact negatively on the company any longer even though a life style means I am unpaid leave so I wouldn't financially impact them.

Any advice would be great I hope my post doesn't come across as demanding or selfish etc as that's not my intentions at all I just don't want to shoot my self in the foot if I don't need to.

As my manager said with my whole situation having no time scale of resolving it's a difficult one he said to me as a person not a manager that I should leave and concentrate on myself and my family and that he doesn't no how I have juggled what I have. They want me back but obviously there is no point going back if I will need to go sick etc which I completely understand as it will put a huge pressure on my amazing colleagues whom are my friends. Just really stuck as the life style break would have been ideal pressure would have been off and a job still there but I completely understand their policies and decision.

Thank you all sorry it was a long post xx

OP posts:
Maze76 · 12/01/2024 00:26

@justmeandmy3minions I am sorry for what you have and are going through- it all sound very stressful. I honestly do not think returning to work is the right choice.
I think your manager has given you great advice- leave the company on good terms, take time to heal and re- assess things later on.

SausageMonkey2 · 12/01/2024 00:29

Where do you work? A big company? Small? Public sector? Local government? Thst would determine my advice’s

justmeandmy3minions · 12/01/2024 08:27

@Maze76 oh he really is good he talks to us like we're people not just employees he understands everything that's happened to me in the last 18 months very supportive I just wasn't sure what a OH could do as I have never had one involved before. As he states family come first and our health comes first I am just gutted to leave but on honestly how could I go back and let my team down it's not fair.

OP posts:
justmeandmy3minions · 12/01/2024 08:29

@SausageMonkey2 it's a huge company I don't want to put the name but it's food retail. Obviously I am thinking my leaving looks best on me but I am not sure whether a OH can support me in more unpaid time off.

OP posts:
NYName · 12/01/2024 09:19

occupational health involved which according to my manager they can tell my employer to terminate my contract which will look bad on my record for future employment or I resign so my record is clean.

I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time.
I think you really need to ask yourself whether there's any realistic chance of you getting back to work in the foreseeable future, with some adaptations made, maybe reduced hours etc?

Terminating a contract is a company's HR decision, not OH.
When they refer you to OH they will ask specific questions, one of the questions will be " Is minions fit to return to work now? If not can you estimate when they will be fit enough?" If the answer to both of those is no, and you're at the end of your sick pay, that's when a company may decide to terminate your contract on the grounds of ill health

If you want to keep your options open it's worth you having the OH appointment and discussing everything with them to see what advice they have. Could you even work towards returning in a couple of months time on drastically reduced hours?
You can still resign if it's clear, following the appointment, that there's no prospect of you returning in any capacity anytime soon.

Madeupballs · 12/01/2024 09:23

Check your contract to see if you have any permanent health insurance/group income protection as a part of your perks.

Are there reasonable adjustments which could be made in order for you to return to work in some capacity?

MaggieNextDoor · 12/01/2024 09:25

Good grief you’ve got a lot on your plate at the moment. Occy Health can advise HR to terminate your contract unfortunately. I would resign then when you feel ready and well again, reapply. If it’s a large company there will always be vacancies and they already know you.

Sending you lots of positive energy.

justmeandmy3minions · 12/01/2024 12:50

Thank you all I just spoken to ACAS for some extra advice and this is what I was advised by them.

OH cannot tell my employer to terminate my contact they just give my employer the report that states there is currently no return date at present due to my current situation and then the ball is in their court whether to terminate my contract on ill health. They can also request adaptations like my working hours etc well but this cannot be done due to my situation.

I was also told that the threat of a bad reference for future employment they cannot physically leave a detrimental mark on my file due to ill health and my dependants health on the grounds I could sue them or something.

The threat I will have to pay all holidays back is always incorrect as these have been accrued whilst on leave even if the leave is not paid.

They have suggested I do not walk away as myself and my employer could mutually terminate my contract on the bases of ill health and according to ACAS I would be then entitled a week for every year I have worked plus built up holidays.

They have also suggested that I check the policy regarding a life style break as it's seems odd to have to be back for 2 years prior to one being granted as peoples circumstances can change.

They have also said to ask for the policy regarding my enhanced maternity pay whether that needs to pay back to be honest I saved the enhanced pay just incase something like this was to happen I thought ahead.

So yeah lots to think about no sure if I have enough room in my head for all this information with the amount I have got going on. I am now in 2 minds make them terminate my contract on ill health or I walk away. Obviously if any of this information is incorrect please let me know. My current sick note does not expire until beginning of April so not sure what to do it's all such a mess xx

OP posts:
justmeandmy3minions · 12/01/2024 12:53

I forgot to add I have time and time again asked for the up to date polices and these have never materialised which is frustrating I call head office and ask for them they tell me to see my line manager I cannot win xx

OP posts:
BritneyBookClubPresident · 12/01/2024 21:19

Another thing to consider is whether you are eligible for benefits if you resign.

Wishing you all the best for you and your baby.

justmeandmy3minions · 13/01/2024 00:38

@BritneyBookClubPresident (love the name) my child gets dla so I will be able to get carers allowance which is all I am entitled never was before due to my income being over their threshold I don't think I will be penalised.

I am still in 2 minds of what to do here I just don't want to leave things on bad terms however I am being told not to just leave but to follow the correct channels with the OH assessment etc I am not sure I have the energy or head space for it all. My current sick note doesn't expire yet and I still have 7ish weeks ssp left so I have time to speak to maybe MIND?

OP posts:
GrumpyMiddleAgedCow · 13/01/2024 00:55

I really don’t want you to think I'm coming for you (because I’m really not) but it seems like you have a lot on your plate, have taken extensive leave (which you are due) but it has now come to the point you’re not in a position to go back to work in the near future and it would probably be best to cut your losses now and leave as unfortunately no company will pay you forever when you are not in a position to work (regardless of circumstances).

just wouldn’t want you to make it difficult to gain any future employment due to hanging onto the last gasp when the reality might be only be 4 additional weeks of pay.

justmeandmy3minions · 13/01/2024 08:59

I@GrumpyMiddleAgedCow I wasn't expecting them to pay me i just wanted too ask about the OH and whether I should go down that route to potentially get get a little extra time off in terms of unpaid leave no way would I expect them to pay me for something I am no longer entitled to.

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 13/01/2024 09:05

Look into compromise agreements. If you and your employer sign a compromise agreement that has been written correctly by a solicitor it means your employment with them ends but they didn't sack you and you didn't resign. It means you are then eligible for benefits straight away.

CarAccident · 13/01/2024 11:04

Hellocatshome · 13/01/2024 09:05

Look into compromise agreements. If you and your employer sign a compromise agreement that has been written correctly by a solicitor it means your employment with them ends but they didn't sack you and you didn't resign. It means you are then eligible for benefits straight away.

Many companies wouldn't do a compromise if there is an ill health dismissal as an option.

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