Hello all this may be long so bare with me,
I am having to make a decision whether to rerun to work or leave I will break down the whole situation to make it easier for you all please no judgment.
Been with the company since 2016 very happy there I got pregnant I had a high risk pregnancy but was supported fully by the midwives etc so I could still work by the time I was 21 weeks pregnant some idiot smashed into the side of my car and caused damaged to my shoulder due to my pregnancy treatment couldn't be done I was signed off sick as I couldn't preform any duties at work and the stress and anxiety of whether my baby would be ok. Sickness for a few weeks then maternity leave starts and off I go.
I had a rough time with my baby little one was diagnosed with a condition which was really hard to manage lack of support from health professionals I was up and down the doctors and hospitals pretty much everyday for 8 weeks solid the lot I fell into a deep depression due to serve sleep deprivation my mental health was an absolute wreck it still is roll onto the end of my mat leave I had to be signed off due my mental health and the fact my shoulder was not sorted out I am still awaiting an mri. It was also discovered I had preeclampsia after my baby was born as I collapsed with an extremely high blood pressure reading 2 weeks after I had little one it was never picked up during pregnancy even though my legs swelled up to the size of tree trucks.
DS has epilepsy which has worsen over the last few months so due to his condition I have been supporting him loads more now due to his decline his seizures were controlled and stable but now he is having multiple seizures every few days obviously my main thing is his health and safety and wellbeing my children will always come first.
I have been referred to community mental health team after having 10 sessions of counselling and I have that app in the coming weeks. The counsellor said I was burnt out and there are signs of ptsd along with depression and anxiety.
I have spoken to my amazing manager today regarding my next steps as my ssp is running out and I am really unsure on what to do I am not allowed a life style break due to the amount of time off I have had which is understandable so the only options is they get the occupational health involved which according to my manager they can tell my employer to terminate my contract which will look bad on my record for future employment or I resign so my record is clean.
I just do not no what to do I have never been in this position before i terms of a work OH I am unsure if to just leave or let them get the OH involved but I am unsure of what they actually do as my manager was very vague.
Obviously my situation is so complex due to not only my health issues but also my little boys. I cannot physically carry out my job at present due to my injury anyway.
I was thinking maybe it's best to leave on good terms so the door is always open and I concentrate on my children and myself until I am 100%. I don't want to be a burden and impact negatively on the company any longer even though a life style means I am unpaid leave so I wouldn't financially impact them.
Any advice would be great I hope my post doesn't come across as demanding or selfish etc as that's not my intentions at all I just don't want to shoot my self in the foot if I don't need to.
As my manager said with my whole situation having no time scale of resolving it's a difficult one he said to me as a person not a manager that I should leave and concentrate on myself and my family and that he doesn't no how I have juggled what I have. They want me back but obviously there is no point going back if I will need to go sick etc which I completely understand as it will put a huge pressure on my amazing colleagues whom are my friends. Just really stuck as the life style break would have been ideal pressure would have been off and a job still there but I completely understand their policies and decision.
Thank you all sorry it was a long post xx