Hate my job

[mumofmilly]

First time posting, so please forgive me if it's all over the shot.
I really hate my job, I feel totally stuck and it's making me ill. I work in a childcare setting with another lady, it's her business so I am the employee.
I've been there just over 3 years and I'm at the point where I can't sleep the night before work due to the dreaded thought of it. I really just want to hand my notice in and leave, but there's only me and her and I know she cannot physically do the job by herself- there's too many children for one person. Plus I do the school runs while she stays home with the younger ones.
I dislike everything about it bar the children. She often "drops hints" about us working with children together till we are OAP age and saying things like "she would lose half her business if I left" because of the ratio of children one person is allowed. I feel trapped into staying somewhere I hate. My youngest son starts secondary school this September and that should mean no more school runs, but in this job I'll be going to the same primary school for god knows how many more years.
Sorry for the long moan and rant, I think I just need to get some backbone and hand in my notice.

Oh and just to add, that my employer constantly texts/watsapps after work and on my days off, which drives me nuts. Not always about work, could be random questions or jokes but I just can't be doing with spending so much time with her at work and then talking to her constantly when I'm not at bloody work!

Yes you need to leave.

It’s really not your problem that she’ll lose half of her business. She should have a back-up plan in place for exactly that scenario.

Toughen up. You’re not trapped in the job, that’s all in your head.

Yep I absolutely do need to toughen up.

What are the reasons you hate it so much?

Think about it this way. If she suddenly lost all of her clients overnight, would she continue to pay you until you are "OAP age" out of her own pocket, out of loyalty and a sense of duty to you? Of course she wouldn't.

Some of commitment and loyalty to a good employer is appropriate. But absolutely NOT at the expense of your own happiness and wellbeing.

@closingdownsale

I feel like I've totally outgrown the job, I hate feeling like I'm on tap as she texts knowing I'm only a stones throw away. It's mundane, predictable, I'm constantly catching every single illness or bug from children who are sent clearly unwell to the setting.
I could moan forever more

@AbbeFausseMaigre
Nope she certainly wouldn't! You are totally right, thank you.

She's the one making the profit. You're an employee, not a relative. You can absolutely exit without it being a big drama. Just give in notice or start looking for other jobs.

If you were being extra nice you could give loads of notice to help her find a good replacement, but there's a risk she gets the hump and you have to leave without another job to go to.

@NoCloudsAllowed

My husband said the exact same thing! I am leaning towards just giving loads of notice like till the end of the July school term just to make sure she's sorted with a replacement, but I do think she will be majorly arsey about it and don't feel I could put up with a bad atmosphere for the next 5 months .

Just an update to say I sucked it up and put my notice in. Feel like a huge weight is lifted

Well done !

@Pinkchicken85
Bless you, thank you.

Well done. 💐

@ToHellBackAndBeyond
Thank you

Excellent, well done! How did she take it?

Sorry for the long moan and rant, I think I just need to get some backbone and hand in my notice.

Yes, you do. It’s just a job, treat it as such. And you’re not a tree, you can move.

Well done.

Well some.
how much notice have you given?

@CharmedCult
A lot better than I expected. Obviously pissed off but fairly ok.

@Maze76
I gave 3 months.

Well done you!

@Justhereforaibu1
Thank you

Lovely to read this and see you've resolved it! So pleased for you OP.

Life is too short and it's certainly never the right think to stay because their business will fall apart without you - that's her problem. She wouldn't hesitate to let you go if business dropped off.

@youveturnedupwelldone

Thank you

Sometimes you need for others to give you "permission" to do what's best for you. Many of us do. You've done the right thing. Good luck in whatever you choose to do next.