AIBU to think this is too much to ask?

[Nubnut]

My former employer (I resigned in 2021 due to moving far away, on good terms) contacted me in October to ask for an up to date CV. They were negotiating some deal and they wanted to include the CVs of the team who had been involved in building the product. I thought it was a bit weird but I needed to update it anyway so I used it as a push to get it done, and I sent it.

I was pregnant and already on maternity leave during this exchange, and told them
do.

Now they've contacted me again saying hello, hope you and the baby are well, and to ask if I'd be happy to do a phone call with some new members of staff to share my insights about the product. They're trying to do a new deal similar to one I pulled off when working there.

I feel it's a bit too much to ask?

The woman asking isn't junior but she's in her twenties and doesn't have kids, and I feel like saying, "when you're looking after a baby, I find that there is one slot in your day, maximum, where you can find time to do a task, like call your bank, do an exercise video or something. That's a very precious chunk of time I have per day, and if feels too much to use that to give professional advice for free."

I bet they're asking partly because they think I'm on maternity leave so I must have loads of time

I'm due to move back to this town soon and I will need these contacts to find a new job, so I don't want to burn bridges. It's also a quite informal company (start up, 10 employees) so it wouldn't be appropriate to send something really huffy.

What would you do?

Thanks

Absolutely fine for you to say unfortunately that won’t be possible. You clearly don’t want to and they are being pretty cheeky to ask. The only reason I would consider it is if there might be an opportunity with them or the company they are doing a deal with and therefore it might be worth it in the long run.

I'd just tell them that, unfortunately, you don't have the time at the moment as your hands are full caring for a young baby. You don't need to explain further. Declining a request doesn't need to be done in a negative way, just be factual.

FYI - it is a big ask, especially knowing your current circumstances. You're under no obligation.

Sorry, not sure where 'FYI' came from! It's, late, I'm tired. Currently sitting with a baby of my own (well, toddler) who's had me up most of the night 🥴

Thank you, that's a good way of putting it

I agree it’s a big ask and I wouldn’t want to do it in your circumstances. However, if I needed to keep a good relationship with these people/company for professional reasons, I would respond, creating a barrier they would understand to avoid doing it. They obviously don’t understand baby = less time, so invent a trip or house remodelling etc.

Dear XX,

It’s nice to hear from the team, and I’m pleased to hear the project is going so well, especially after all the hard work on the first one.

In relation to your request, normally I would enjoying doing this, and keeping connected to the team and project, but regrettably I am just about to leave on a trip to visit extended family. However I am moving back to the area in [month], and would be available for a catch up/team talk then. Does that suit?

yours sincerely
etc

They’ll probably say no. If they say yes, inquire about crèche services at work and use the chance to catch up and ask about jobs :)

Alternatively, since they are being cheeky, be cheeky back and respond with your consultant rates. 'Hi, happy to set something up, for consultant work like this, I generally charge £150 an hour, please confirm you're OK with that and I'll send you a quote.'

Very cheeky considering they are not your employer, I agree with a pp say certainly can help here is my contract rate. At least then your time isn’t wasted

Agree with @katmarie - it may well be a start up but your time is precious and if they want your expertise in the long term, they need to understand that it’s not going to come for free. Plus, that’s a good bargaining chip for your future career move. Remember, you’re not a charity and you owe them nothing once your contract has ended. What would a commercial entity do? They’d charge for their time.

Good luck OP- keep us posted on their response!

Deffo reply and offer an hourly rate. If they want commercial advice they can pay for it. It'll soon transpire if they really want the chat or not.

I would negotiate a fee

Absolutely this, or just say no - don't do it for free, otherwise they will keep asking

Ok I think I'm going to pluck up the courage and do this!
I want to find a way of suggesting an hourly rate that doesn't make them call all my former colleagues and say "you'll never guess what x has just done. She's asked us for money to have a chat about y!!"

But then why not, they might find it impressive in a way, as you say.

The funny thing about maternity leave is that free time DOES feel like it's worth gold! It is, actually.

I'll send the email on Monday and let you know what they say.

Are you on maternity leave from another job?

https://workingfamilies.org.uk/articles/what-work-can-you-do-during-maternity-adoption-parental-leave/

The cv thing is odd. I think they used your CV as a baseline for a job description for the new staff, and are now using you to train the new staff.

I work in a niche role and I know my replacement would need me to train them as my manager wouldn’t be able to. I’m looking for internal moves, so hopefully the day will come when I leave. When that happens, I’ll insist on training them during my notice period and nothing after. If they haven’t got my replacement in place by then, it’s their problem to solve

£100 go back to them with your day / hourly rate.

you want to take your salary and roughly 2/2.5 x it.

This is very perceptive. Makes sense.

Yes from another job.

True! I'm not allowed to work during maternity leave.

Then maybe I could ask for in exchange an hour of their time when I move back there brainstorming on contacts to help me find a new job (I want to work in the same area but not for them).

I think they're taking the piss, personally. If I did this at all, I'd insist on an hourly fee. Why would you work for free?

First of all, it’s not a chat. They are asking you to deliver a training session because of your professional expertise. That will require prep so you can deliver a clear, well structured, presentation and be available to answer questions after. That takes time. You could ask for a one off fee for the training, or you could offer to become a consultant to the team, providing 2 hours a week for contributing to meetings and offering mentoring support. They’ve obviously used your CV to help them with work by pretending you’re part of the team, to tell them to put their money where their mouth is. It sound like they need you anyway.

Are they a competitor to your current employer?

You can do self employed work during maternity leave, which this would be.

No

I would definitely send them a quote. I normally charge £120 per hour for that kind of job, even with former employers. They know I'm a professional and they are seeking my services and expertise. I've never had any complaints

Yes I would assume they expect you to but are waiting for you to mention it.

Why do they need an updated copy of your cv, what’s wrong with the one you gave to them as that’s the one they used to decide to hire you