Help with managing a control freak

[Theunmanageables]

I need some advice on how to handle this. I'm experienced in managing people but it has usually been people who are keen to learn and develop.

I've started managing a new team and there's one person who is particularly tricky.

They have been around for a very long time and they aren't interested in career progression but they do want control over everything. They don't want me to make any changes or decisions without checking with them first.

I've been brought in specifically to make changes. I'm responsible for the commercial success of the team, and the team member doesn't have the relevant experience or skills to be in my role, and doesn't want to be. But they do want to dictate what I do and be able to veto anything they don't agree with.

I think it comes from a place of insecurity. Ironically, unless I'm allowed to get on with my job, they are more likely to lose theirs than if I am allowed to try and turn things around.

Of course I am open to their input, but they need to understand the limits to that.

Any wise words to help me deal with this? I've never come across someone who felt they had the absolute right to know about and control everything that's happening around them when they are really at a junior level before.

''@Jellycatspyjamas

Frankly if you have to state you’re in charge, you’ve lost before you start. Leadership is about bringing people with you, not dictating your terms and expecting people to fall in line.''

Except that here the OP has already tried a soft approach and allowed the team member to walk all over her.

At this point you have to be clear and firm. Wishful thinking about 'bringing people with you' is no longer going to cut it.

Your suggestion only works with reasonable employees not those who have a chip on their shoulder.

Most ppl don't like change - do you explain WHY you're changing the way things are Done?

I haven't alienated anyone and have been very gentle. I've observed this person respond to other people in the way I'm describing more than they have done to me. I've just had hints of it personally so far.

The OP has described her interaction thus far as above @Startingagainandagain its clear she’s trying to get ahead of the issue, nowhere has she said been walked all over. Given that, employing a “you don’t get to question me” approach will generate more heat than light, which is counter productive. Bringing people with you is only “wishful thinking” if you don’t have the skills to engage others, to set your own professional boundaries and effectively communicate. The OP has a bit to travel before laying down the law.

Oh, OP. I hear you. I’m in a near-identical situation. I wrote about it here and got accused of everything from being too soft to being a micromanager and bully. I’ve since found out my employee has been committing timesheet fraud. Will she go quietly? No. She’s doubling down as usual and I’m the villain again. I actually think even she believes her own bullshit.

The fact is, despite there being so many perfect managers on Mumsnet, extremely difficult people like this exist and it doesn’t matter what you do or how you approach it because they prefer to live like this for some reason. There won’t be any self-reflection. The bulldozing must payoff enough that they keep trying it on even when they hit resistance. Either way, I honestly don’t think my problem staffer will change, and it sounds like yours won’t either.

Good luck in dealing with them. I suggest going down the usual channels to let them go. If, by chance, you do something that results in a miraculous about face do let us know.