Fake grievance

[MoleseyMom]

A colleague has put in a grievance against me. She has also resigned/ walked out but wants to retract this. Part of her grievance is justified. I joined in some gossip about her as she was having a pretty public affair with a close colleague of mine. I shouldn't have done this and have apologised. But she's also accused me of a lot of stuff which isn't true at all. I don't know why she's done this. Can anyone advise what will happen? It's my word against hers. We don't have HR at work so I am really anxious about what will happen to me.

it’s not fake then of partly justified

and you’re not exactly an objective person on whether a grievance about you is “fake” or not

If you're in a union then contact them.

If not, you'll need to wait for the official letter and subsequent interview/s where you give your side and present any documentation.

Now is the time to write down as much as you remember as it may be a while / have taken place a while ago.

Write down a timeline and gather evidence or lack of it. For example if the grievance states a day & time were you in a meeting so couldn’t be where the alleged incident occurred your diary and meeting minutes are helpful. Witnesses or lack of them again helpful to prove/disprove if an incident occurred.

Thank you. I have had an informal interview, the next stage is formal. I've asked to see the letter been told that I can't.

One bit of the grievance is true. The rest of it isn't in that it simply didn't happen and she's invented it.

Just stick to the facts - likely it'll be partially upheld (given some of it is true) but unless its serious gross misconduct (which it doesn't sound like), just take the finding and move on.

You can also raise a counter-grievance regarding the lies she's telling about you (if you want to go down that road)

Thank you. Can I still lodge a counter greviance as she has left?

I'd missed that she had left - doubt you could but you could lodge a grievance about their handling of it, if you think thats warranted.

I wouldn't recommend this whether or not she has left. It's only going to be seen as tit-for-tat, and you'll only be marking yourself out with it. There may be stuff that isn't true (or isn't true from your perspective, which isn't quite the same thing) but it isn't all untrue, and you've admitted to that. As someone who has been involved in lots of investigations, it is always hard to show something didn't happen when at least some of it did happen. Add a grievance against her alleging that she is lying just makes it look like you are putting the boot in, and that makes ALL the other allegations against you look more likely. Remember, this isn't a court of law, and the employer doesn't require proof, they just need a reasonable belief that you did something. The more you are seen as the problem, the more it seems reasonable to believe it is you that is lying.

You tell the truth, stick to that, and don't escalate things.

As for what might happen, nobody can even guess at that because we neither know what you did do, nor what the other stuff you are accused of is. It would be very irresponsible of anyone to say that you won't get dismissed out that it isn't serious misconduct when we have no idea about the allegations or the circumstances.

That's how decent people get shafted though @Neriah - trusting the process when HR are only interested in protecting the organisation and will do their best to appease whoever shouts loudest. Look after yourself Op.

I didn't say I trusted the process. I am perfectly aware of the role of HR. Which, btw, the OP says they don't have. But raising a grievance is raising the stakes. In the original complaint the OP did do some of it, but just had to say they didn't do the rest. The employer can find those parts untrue, or unproven (the latter being the easy way out). But if the OP raised a counter grievance she must allege that the allegations made are not only untrue but deliberate lies. That boxes in the employer and forces them to a finding. Since she can't prove they are lies, she upped the stakes and risks pissing off the employer. And for no good reason because they will have to make a decision on exactly those matters in the grievance anyway.

Imagine going round having an affair at work and then putting in a grievance because you were gossiped about!
Sorry op that's rubbish, ACAS might be a good sort of advice.

Depends what the gossip is, doesn't it?

Well the gossip was about them having an affair. I know that I was wrong to do that. Basically they were all over each other at a work party and a group of us discussed it afterwards.

How do you know if you haven’t read the letter?

Whilst I haven't seen it, the person interviewing me went through it in detail. For example, something I said on (for example) 12 June was raised but I was on holiday. The alleged conversation simply didn't happen on that day or any other day. She made stuff up.

If the grievance is about a group of you there will be aspects that don’t apply to you.

She will likely be making a claim that she was pushed out/had to resign because you and other colleagues creating a hostile environment by openly gossiping and starting rumours.

HR is going to take that seriously if she is claiming constructive dismissal against the organisation.

The claims also probably relate not just to you but to any other team member who was part of the gossip.

You and your colleagues assumed they were having an affair when it might simply be a case of two people drinking a bit too much and being silly at a party. Frankly that was really unwise.

For her to resign there is likely more than just you and some colleagues having a private conversation about it.

The gossip got back to her and made her want to leave so there has to be more than this.

Did you and your group of gossipers openly discussed this with several more people to the point where everyone had heard about it? Not a good look.

Were you wrong though? Is it fact rather than gossip. Of course people talk and there will be allowances for it. I doubt the affair will make her look good.

IMO grievances are just a tick box exercise.
They are listened to and not much else.
Those investigating are keen to keep it low level and will push for this. And because it's been raised they now have to go through the motions.

You'll just need to give your account along with others. Someone pulls it all together and decides on what happens next.

Try not to worry too much.

If she was having an affair and you discussed it, is that grounds for her to complain? I don’t know but it seems to me that it will depend on wether what you discussed was true, the tone of your discussions and wether she felt victimised or bullied (regardless of your intention). Have the other gossipers also been accused? How did she know you were talking about her?

If you can quite clearly show you were out of the business at the time of her allegations, then I wouldn't worry too much as it will call into question the veracity of the whole grievance.

Just stick to the truth, state clearly that her dates don't add up as you weren't in work.

This happened to me, someone accused colleagues and myself of talking about her. I finish work at 3, she put it happened at 4, so I wasn't in the office. HR wanted me to agree to a written warning, needless to say I put them straight and nothing happened.

Stand your ground and be very careful what you admit to.