This is what my professional career has come to.

[donbean]

Im a nurse.
Looked after a man yesterday who was "difficult".
He could not hear me properly because he had an oxygen mask on.
He kept mishearing my explanations to him and got annoyed at me.
I am quietly spoken and so i repeated my self and turned up the volume so that i was clearer and so that i though that he could hear me.
He kept saying to me "what?"
then he shouted at me..."stop shouting at me, i dont want you to shout at me".
I was not shouting but now i cant stop thinking about it, and i am worrying about it so much that i am going to go into work tomorrow (my day off) to write a statement about it in case he complains about me.

After 15 years as a nurse, i am so worried about people complaining about me...even tho i do my very best and have only had 1 complaint (10 years ago and it wasnt me as an individual that they complained about)
I am so paranoid about every single thing i do and say it really is so restrictive and stifles my work.

he is simply a curmudgeon

do not fret

can you not email a statement to HR to put on record?

"curmudgeon" is that a swear word, can i use it in my statement?

Like the sound of that its kind of scummy and crudite all rolled into one isnt it.

Noun 1. curmudgeon - a crusty irascible cantankerous old person full of stubborn ideas

Why don\t you do a reflective piece? I know that sounds corny, but if it is playing on your mind, I always find writing it down in terms of "why, what, when etc, would I do it again" is very helpful. If he makes a complaint, which I'm sure he won't, you can use it as your statement.

I know how you feel, after nearly 10 years, and some v awkward relatives (I'm an LD nurse, so usually relatives not pts who are the problem) I have learnt to come home and write down anything about any event that has remotely troubled me. I've needed to too.
Sometime to protect myself, and sometimes to protect my team. sadly it is just the way things are now. I even told a pts family once that if they thought he could get better care elsewhere they should remove him. Sadly they didn't.

the guy was 42

That is a good idea shrinky.
Will do that i think.

makes me sad.

I've been on mat leave for 9 moonths, due back in 4 weeks. While I've been away my team have been facing an industiral tribunal from a member of staff complaining of constructive dismissla. My poor manager has had a hell of a time.If its not the bloody pts, its the staff

Do you have to make a preemptive defence?

Christ

sometimes worth logging a statement just in case. but FWIT I thnk that she should be ok, I'can't imagine th bloke would complain.hope not anyway.

sorry, FWIW not FWIT (???)

donbean - there must be someone at work you can talk to (line manager, HR person?) about your feelings. It sounds like this incident was fairly minor and I doubt the guy will complain - he probably won't even remember it. But it's blown out of proportion in your mind and maybe some kind of mentoring for you will help you. Noone deserves to spend their professional life feeling they have to watch their back all the time. One complaint in 10 years is NOTHING in the job you do, dealing with difficult people in stressful situations. Sounds like you are very good and committed, but need support in getting this issue into perspective.

HI donbean. Just want to echo alfiesbabe that the incident does not sound serious at all. I am surprised you have not experienced worse abuse as a nurse, not because you are not providing care (you sound very dedicated) but because loads of people out there are just arses.

I think having a thick skin is vital in your profession. You are right that being sensitive to such incidents will hamper your work satisfaction. Does your workplace (NHS?) offer any development courses (hope I don't get laughed out of here).

How about private nursing for more one-to-one care and the opportunity to develop more of a caring relationship with your patients?

I agree with the others. If you have worked for 10 years with only 1 complaint (that wasnt really even about you) then you must be pretty exceptional. I suspect this incident wont even lead to a complaint, and even if it did, it would be a kind of his word against yours situation, and with your record, unlikely to go against you.

It sounds like this man wasnt well? Probably what will happen is that you will get a sheepish apology next time you see him.

I hope that you can speak to someone about getting your worries into proportion, as the amount of worry you are dealing with sounds dreadful.

Don, I wouldn't worry about it.
FGS, this is as trivial as can be.

Know how you feel though, as an NHS employee myself.

its just this one chap, normally have a lovely relationship with patients and their families.

we just did not seem to gel, nothing i could do was right for him.... he was in pain and obviously anxious.

made of tough stuff normally. bit hormonal in midst of a mc probably so not my usual self.

feel free to ignore my whinnings!

I thought it was much more stressfull being a nurse than that..not trying to make it seem less to you.
But as a Homecare person, i think it's much more dangerous, as you go by yourself into unfamiliar enviroments and have to deal with client's familly.
I've had to try and find things in some kitchens that would be deemed a health hazard and this was in the home of someone who had a "capable" familly member.
Clients would get angry if you were even 10 mins late, one would send you out to get ciggies even though you only had half and hour to help them get dressed, so they expected their cigs AND be helped, so you would end up being even later for everyone, but you would not be paid for any xtra time, even if it was a few hours.
Yes, some people are difficult and PITA but if they are ill they are not being themselves.
Its just that nurses and healthcare people don't see people at their best most of the time.
I feel sorry for shop workers as they can get lots of abuse for nothing and most of the attackers are not that ill...well maybe in their head!
AB

small aspect of nursing ripeberry.
out of proportion because im in a mess at the mo.
very small aspect.

Donbean, just hope you feel better soon
AB

I had something similar the other week donbean, deaf pt so I had to properly shout for her to hear me and then someone opposite complained about me - saying I was cruel to the pt because I shouted

I documented it and discussed with the sister (although I suspect you are the sister!).

Take care x