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Is it only me? Not feel happy at all or even a waste of time after Xmas do.

15 replies

MumDaisy1980 · 22/12/2023 23:57

Hated all the small talk. I don’t see the point to talk for nothing. I am a socialable and outgoing person. I work in typical office 9-5 job. But for some reason everytime in company social event, I can’t engage conversation with any colleague for two more questions or so. The conversation just die. My office was 95% parents. Now I am 6-months pregnant and it’s my first one. Since then I felt I am being more ‘included’ as in preg always becomes a topic and some colleagues just soooo enthusiastically talking about their child, show me photos..touch my belly (which I don’t like it).

I came across very friendly but in those gathering I just don’t shine and feel uncomfortable. I cannot really know why other than maybe there is nth in common with them.

Especially after yesterday the Xmas do, I just feel almost awful. I did not gain anything from the Xmas do other than wasted my time. And seeing all my colleagues getting drunk and lousy. The feeling was so strong that I am considering don’t go to these gathering ever again. Like maybe just show up for like the pre-event drinks and not committed to the full outing.

it’s also particularly strange that I did work in other non-office jobs before. And I had always been very happy and got along with others. Had a good laugh always. It’s only office job environment. I feel everything so wrong. Forced fun. Suck up to the CEO, whatever he said is funny. I felt like I couldn’t stand it.

the only upside about office job is financial security. Period.

i wonder if it’s just me ? Or it’s pretty common ? Or it’s becoz I preg ?! Or do anyone has similar feeling ?? Would be great to hear others’ story.

thank you!!

OP posts:
Rafting2022 · 22/12/2023 23:59

Me neither - socialising with people I see all day every day.

Can’t wait to make my excuses and leave.

SleepingStandingUp · 23/12/2023 00:00

If you don't really like your colleagues then of course work does are going to be painful. Do you not have any work friends? I don't think your dislike of people is because of you're pregnant. Seems like they're making the effort and you just can't be bothered trying to get to know th better.

garlictwist · 23/12/2023 00:02

I massively struggle with the work Xmas do and always dread it. I am shit at small talk and find myself coming away feeling low. This year I pulled a sickie and don't regret it. I just didn't have the mental and physical enegery for it.

Rafting2022 · 23/12/2023 00:03

They’re colleagues though not friends and we exchange pleasantries throughout the day anyway so what more is there to say in the evening?

ShippingNews · 23/12/2023 00:04

I think you feelings would be very common. In future just go for a short time to "show your face" and then leave. Life is too short to spend it doing things you don't like !

OnSecondThoughts · 23/12/2023 00:16

Yes I get you. Had our staff Christmas dinner today. It was ok-ish, but like you, I can only do so much small-talk and chit-chat. (Actually it dawned on me today that maybe the main reason that so many people watch rubbishy TV programmes is just so they can chat about them, not because they actually really like the programmes! That's daft) So I made my excuses and left quite early on. It's not that I dislike anyone in my firm, they are all nice people, it's just that I hate putting on the usual Christmas "plastic smile" and engaging in meaningless chat. I spent my whole youth worrying about all this peer-pressure stuff, trying to fit in with the crowd. Now I am more comfortable just being myself. If people think I'm being boring by leaving early, so be it.

MumDaisy1980 · 24/12/2023 00:18

Thanks all!! Some of your suggestions are great! Interesting to hear it’s common becoz during the party I saw people seem enjoying themselves so much! I couldn’t understand that at all!! now I guess some might perhaps feel the same way, but just not as obviously shown.

OP posts:
Pinkdressinggownbelt · 24/12/2023 00:49

work dos are for enjoying the company’s free food and drinks, I eat, drink , smile and answer a question or two, then I’m off. Lots of smiling, no extended chatting, eat what’s nice and bail. I see it as part of work commitment

malificent7 · 24/12/2023 08:38

At my work do I left early asI wanted to be with my family and was resentful that I was already spending 4 weekends at work in December.

malificent7 · 24/12/2023 08:39

And we had to pay. Plus ...i never get drunk at work dos...making a tit of myself in front of colleagues comes easy without the addition of booze!

BrimfulOfMash · 24/12/2023 08:44

I always had a great time at work socials. But we were in a good team environment where people tend to have a shared culture / outlook and be imaginative and social. Also long and anti social work hours so to a certain extent we were thrown together.

Lots of lasting friendships were made in all my jobs, for me and others.

But, not always the case, and it isn’t compulsory.

Getmeoutofheere · 24/12/2023 15:13

Yup. I feel you. This years work do (been working here about a year and didn’t go to last years one) was just a bit odd and awkward. So I kept drinking now a bit paranoid that people think that the boss and I were a little flirty (we briefly danced and chatted but that’s it)- people seem to be throwing knowing looks around since returning to the office.

tbh I thought it was because of hybrid working that we don’t really know each other that much, or that I have generally felt like a bit of a square peg in a round hole at this place. But yh realising that offices, where people are a bit bored and don’t have a clue what they’re doing, breeds a load of weirdness.

like you I’m thinking of not going next year, or driving and making my
excuses to leave early .

goid news is you can use childcare as an excuse next time 😉I have done this many a time x

AtillaTheHon · 24/12/2023 15:30

I hate work dos and never go. I think that's extremely common. I don't think it has anything to do with pregnancy

thatsnotmywean · 24/12/2023 15:49

I'm guessing from the spelling and grammar that English is not your first language so maybe cultural differences play a part too?

Aozora13 · 24/12/2023 15:56

When I was young and skint and had lots of friends at work, I loved the Christmas party (a booze up with my pals paid for by the boss woohoo). Now I am old and boring but better paid I realised a few years back that a) I don’t enjoy them any more and b) they are not compulsory so I stopped going. I used to make up convenient excuses but now I just say “not my thing” and decline.

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