Nightmare manager

[Goldfishonabike]

Current manager’s latest message when I explained the (5 minute) delay to sending her something by way of my inbox having being full so needed to delete a few emails.
”you may want to delete from your inbox before you go on leave, so emails don’t bounce while you’re away.”
gee, thanks, if you hadn’t said it would never had crossed my mind!
For context, never had that happening to me, and we have exceptionally low inbox capacity, so a common problem across the company. Had a great relationship with previous manager and 0 issues, then he left and now, I’m desperately looking for another job.
Otherwise she’s snarky, micro managing, gaslighting and generally anxious and uptight, has asked me to be reachable by phone during evenings and weekends although it’s not in my contract, take credit for my ideas, never address things straight out but pretend all is fine and then make underhand comments whenever she gets a chance.
come on, share your stories of nightmare managers and how you got away from them/dealt with them!

She sounds a grief but the email example wouldn't bother me.

I haven't heard of inboxes filling up since about 2014. Is this usual anywhere else?

Unless she seems likely to move on, do keep looking into other jobs, yes. Why get ground down ...

I got shouted at for 30 minutes once for sending an email saying good morning just after 12. Wholly unprofessional apparently. Made us do charity stuff so the company could promote itself via the charity websites and social media (free advertising) however we had to do this in our short lunch break not in paid working time. Got warned for wearing wellies to work in the rain (I had shoes to change into) taken into a formal meeting for being 2 minutes late due to a crash on the motorway told this would be noted on the spreadsheet that they kept of issues!

I could go on best day of my life when I walked out of there for the last time.

I stopped telling them anything at all except the absolute basics. And I knew a lot as I'd been there a long time and worked very closely with their predecessor.

Unless they asked me specifically I gave them no additional information whatsoever. So no explanations, straight to the point, yes/no answers if question asked.

Fuck them, if they were being a shit manager and making my life difficult I certainly wasn't going to help them with anything.

They left (finally)😁

I just don't think there's anyway back from having a manager you don't like. I left a job I loved this year for that reason, best most interesting job I ever had, great money, easy commute, interesting, wonderful team. Dream job stuff. But got a new micromanaging manager I hated, and I was job hunting within 3 months. Often wonder if I was too weak or if it was assertive and taking control? New job has better pay and conditions but doesn't excite me like my previous role.

I was delirious with covid when manager rang me to say I'd only be getting statutory sick pay. Fine but I could hardly speak.

Shouted at me just before Christmas that I'd not pass probation (this was a massive shock as I'd never had this siggested) .
Managers manager then pretended to be off sick so I wasn't able to sort it out and spent Xmas worrying I didn't a job to go back to.

1-1 reports bullet pointed my failings & negative characteristics in terms of my personality.

Made sure I got a heavier workload than colleagues.

Changed our database so my stats were not counted.

Was basically a massive ball-ache soooo glad to be out of there.

Swapped shifts with me so she could go off with her bf which resulted in me working 21 days straight with no break at all ( not legal).
In my 1st staff meeting cried as my predecesor left and complained about her. She told us to go to her if we had an issue ( least aporoachable boss ever).
Told me it was within her intetests if I stayed.
Always put me down.
When dd was suffering with anxiety my boss told me it was because I am an anxious oerson.
I just couldn't hold it together around her so I left...as have many colleagues after me.

Interests*

Just never being available for anything work related during work hours.

Then contacting you on your days off with work/ non work things.

And logging on on their day off to email you to remind you and with detailed instructions of how to set and change your voicemail.

O and saying your staff are rubbish for one reason or another.

@ploikj sorry for you, that’s crap. I’m not sure, I’m trying so hard to both be assertive and stand my ground towards my manager and also be cooperative and flexible and work with her anxiety and ego and make her feel better..but it’s not really working, as essentially, she’ll always be the person she is and I’ll be the person I am, and we just don’t get on. I mean, I don’t think she gets on with everyone who isn’t 100 percent submissive to her every whim, but I think some people may “trigger” her less than I do.
we are similar age and abilities and just so different so I think something about me (like I have kids and she doesn’t, by choice, according to herself) triggers her. She clearly finds my life uninteresting and my opinions annoying..I think if you’re in same wavelength as your boss it makes it easier, even if you have disagreements. So I’m trying to see things from her side as much as I can, but we’re just so different, so it’s hard. I’m looking for another job, but similarly to you, I like my jobs in all other ways.

@Getmeoutofheere sounds awful. Are you still in that job?

@malificent7 ugh that’s horrible especially about blanking you for your child’s problems.

@Mangledrake i work for a government department, so it’s normal here. Super annoying.

anyways, Im
looking another job but I’m also resentful that she’s chasing me out of my job, essentially.

Worked in a restaurant where the 3 family members who owned it decided they should not only have a share of the saved tips, but they should have more than the staff because they worked more hours than we did. This was the last straw of shitty behaviour. One member of staff had already handed in his notice and after this the other member and me walked out. Two weeks before Christmas. Mind you, they then had to shut for a week because they caught covid, which they wouldn’t have paid us for anyway.

I wish I could find a way to stay on even with her as manager, but whenever I decide to be really really cooperative and just go along w whatever she says, things still go wrong, as things then turn out badly (as I’d had warned they would) and she then lashes out at me for the problems that have arisen, due to her not following my advice in the first place..it’s crazy making

Im still there. It really suits my life flexibility wise etc. I’m tied in by a retention payment at the mo but in a couple of months I’m going to start to look around because it is rubbish.

Sounds like a real clash . X

@Getmeoutofheere yeah I think we really just don’t match. I haven’t had issues like this with any other manager, so it’s just bad luck..I don’t consider myself a difficult person and don’t think I’m seen as such either, but I am someone who stands my ground and isn’t impressed by appearances - don’t accept authority automatically unless I genuinely respect the person/ideas- , and I think that’s hard for some people.

With my previous manager, I just
respected him, he was a good ananger and had great ideas, so I naturally deferred to him and respected him in lost cases, and if I did disagree with some of his ideas, he always listened to me and responded respect and thoughtfully, at times taking on board my ideas and at other turns respectfully showing and explaining to me what I had misunderstood about his ideas, so I got onboard With them. Just a great manager. T he angler before him was useless, and everyone thought so (this as in another job) but we all just sort of laughed/raged it off together, we were sort of able to shrug it off most the time, and I didn’t feel personal for me as he was the same with everyone. He was very happy with me, and when I quit, he was disappointed. Before that, I’d had other managers, some good some less amazing, a few disagreements but absolutely nothing major, and consistently good reviews. It’s the first time I have this experience, so it’s quite confusing for me.

Sorry pressed post before correcting typos - meant “most cases” and “respectfully” and”manager not “angler”!

@Getmeoutofheere aw that sucks, hope you can manage for the last time there and then find a better match! One trick that sometimes helps me when she really stresses me out is to visualize her as smaller and smaller, so in the end, she’s this tiny little matchstick size person…sounds silly, but helps me me feel less anxious