Can't compete

[Plofder]

Worked in insurance firm for 10 years. Long-standing and reliable employee and had a couple of promotions in my time etc.

Recent internal promotion came up and it is myself and a new colleague going up for it.

She been there 9 months and is a hit with everyone for being so incredibly nice as well as highly competent. She recently won newcomer of the year award at company away day. Good at job and always tries so hard to be likeable and nice at every opportunity.

I've found myself getting upset behind closed doors. I suppose I feel threatened and am doubting my own approach and feeling nervous about promotion, almost like its a waste of time to apply despite a strong track record.

I just can't compete with that level of nice. I'm friendly and chatty etc but colleague is another level - I'm not sure if she can sustain that level of nice with everyone long term tbh but everyone is besotted with her, including bosses. One colleague almost got tearful talking about how lovely she is.

She's gone out of her way to be liked by everyone and can't tell if this is just how she is or a more calculated move. I feel dull and like a cold fish in comparison.

I know promotion should be based on abilities etc but hard to imagine all this niceness won't sway it for her.

I'm feeling so defeatist and ready to give up.

You’re right that promotions likely will be (or should be) on skills and experience. It sounds as if she’s knocked your self confidence but doesn’t sound it’s deliberate. It’s more of seeing someone else take a different approach that is very successful.

But you are you, with your own strengths and abilities. Focus on those. Long term you can’t be someone you aren’t.

The only certain way not to get promoted is to not apply, so get your best application together! Good luck

I work in insurance too, not sure how that's relevant but anyway 🤣

Please don't compare yourself OP. I'm always suspicious of overly nice 24/7 people. I always say there's no you can be that happy and that nice all day everyday. It's draining.

Just keep focusing on yourself, your job & that's it. The promotion will be yours if it's meant too.

It's definitely worth applying OP. You have no chance of getting the promotion if you don't apply!

To be fair, you say she's highly competent as well as very nice, so if she does get it it's not just due to the niceness.

If you don't get it, it may be time to look around at other jobs. IME (I used to work in the insurance industry too!) it can sometimes be easier to get promoted by moving to a different company. When you've been somewhere for 10 years you can start to stagnate.

Thanks for the advice. I will definitely apply when it opens in the new year but if I don't get it then maybe looking elsewhere is a good option.

She is very competent as well but like @justanothermanicmonday1 I get a bit suspicious when people are that level of nice all the time to everyone and desperate to be liked.

To flip this a bit

I had an interview for an promotion on Tuesday. There was another internal candidate from another site, who has been in the same position as myself for 5 years. I've been there 18 months.

I was offered the role. While I'm over the moon about it. I can't help feel a little sad for my colleague as he has more experience